Peaches
Created | Updated Jan 22, 2004
Peaches are a round stone fruit with juicy yellow flesh and downy yellow skin flushed with red. They are the product of the small fruit tree, Prunus persica, which is native to China but is now grown in most temperate areas.
Peaches may be purchased, most commonly in plastic punnets covered in red knetting, from most supermarkets on Planet Earth. Be careful though, as the price and quality varies considerably depending on the season. A punnet of 8 costing a mere 99 English pence may suddenly rocket to as much as 2 pounds and 99 pence (and this despite a reduction in juiciness and sweetness.)
The word peaches used along with the word cream is sometimes used to describe the skin of someone with a peach-like complexion. The word peach also means informer, although this usage tends to be ignored in television police programmes in favour of the much scarier grass or nark. Possibly due to peach also meaning “a particularly excellent or desirable thing of the kind specified.” Being called a peach would probably give most people a nice warm happy feeling rather than the terror intended by an Eastend gangland villain.
WARNING: There is a one hour window during which peaches are edible. If you find that they ready to consume then you must immediately eat them all or suffer the consequences. They may seem hard and unripe on the day of purchase. They may even remain so for a couple of days. But quite soon you will come to your fruit bowl and find everyone single item covered in a rotten white fur.
My advice? Go for nectarines.
