Dateline 2014
Created | Updated Jan 3, 2004
Hello, who`s calling ?
How did you get this number ?
Impossible, we have no mutual friends. Try again.
A client ?, possibly. Which client ?
I see. What is it you want ?
Listen. By calling this number, you will already know what we do. If you want somebody to die, stop waffling and tell me who and why.
Your partner. Because he is ruining your business. Is that all ?
Oh, and he`s sleeping with your wife, stealing your money and you think the pair of them are plotting against you. Anything else ?
You`re going out of your mind, and can`t think of any other way to resolve the issue. I see. You don`t think it`s perhaps a bit drastic ?
OK, OK. You`ve thought it all through, and there`s no other way. Do you realise how expensive it could be ?
How much ? Depends on a lot of things, whether it must appear accidental, time scale, difficulty of approach, all sorts of variables.
Well a ball park figure, for lets say a quick job without complications, we`re talking around one million Euros. Paid in advance, expenses are extra.
That seem OK ?
I`ll need full details, photographs, etc. Leave me a contact number, I`ll be in touch with details of where to send the money and the necessary information.
No, success is guaranteed. We `ve never had to refund any fees.
No, we`ll never meet... .unless... that is... no, it`s unlikely.
I can never tell what the next phone call will bring, can I ?
That`s all for the time being then. Wait for my call.
Goodbye, and thank you for calling the Samaritans.
How did you get this number ?
Impossible, we have no mutual friends. Try again.
A client ?, possibly. Which client ?
I see. What is it you want ?
Listen. By calling this number, you will already know what we do. If you want somebody to die, stop waffling and tell me who and why.
Your partner. Because he is ruining your business. Is that all ?
Oh, and he`s sleeping with your wife, stealing your money and you think the pair of them are plotting against you. Anything else ?
You`re going out of your mind, and can`t think of any other way to resolve the issue. I see. You don`t think it`s perhaps a bit drastic ?
OK, OK. You`ve thought it all through, and there`s no other way. Do you realise how expensive it could be ?
How much ? Depends on a lot of things, whether it must appear accidental, time scale, difficulty of approach, all sorts of variables.
Well a ball park figure, for lets say a quick job without complications, we`re talking around one million Euros. Paid in advance, expenses are extra.
That seem OK ?
I`ll need full details, photographs, etc. Leave me a contact number, I`ll be in touch with details of where to send the money and the necessary information.
No, success is guaranteed. We `ve never had to refund any fees.
No, we`ll never meet... .unless... that is... no, it`s unlikely.
I can never tell what the next phone call will bring, can I ?
That`s all for the time being then. Wait for my call.
Goodbye, and thank you for calling the Samaritans.
