The Bells of St. Nell's

For four hundred and forty years,

the populace have had wounded ears,

from 8th November to Boxing day,

from the Bells of St. Nell's,

and the noise from they play.



The sextons have been a persistent lot,

who are proud of their plot.

They take this occasion to shine,

bing, bong, pling, and pline,

until the babys begin to whine.



The bellringer general and his majors all

whack the heck out of those bells,

'til the pulleys begin to stall.

The noise fills the valley, the alleys, and the moats

till even the deaf know every note.



If I have one wish this Christmas Day,

it's that Santa would spare me gifts,

rent a bulldozer,

and push St. Nell's in the bay...

or at least just the bell tower, if he may.