Sticks: Mankind's first and greatest discovery.
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
Many people are of the misguided notion that the critical innovation that spurred mankind onto it's current glory* was the discovery of fire. This is not so. In fact, the actual starting point of human technology was the stick.
A stick, as everyone knows, is a long and thinnish peice of material (commonly wood, or nowdays, plastic) which can be used for many purposes. A great example of one of the stick's endless number of uses is what it can be used for telekinesis (literaly speaking), it can be used to create fire, and you can hit people with it. Since the last two uses were the two greatest needs of our late human anscestors, the stick was greatly utilized in order to survive (and make other things not survive.)
Nowdays, however, sticks are used for even more purposes. Many bells and whistles have been added to various sticks, so with them you can keep things clean, write things, measure things, cut things, open things, paint things, kill things, eat things, and do all sorts of other things to things.
It might be noted, also, that sticks are marketed these days. Why this happens eludes us here at the Guide, because they grow on trees anyway.
In conclusion, for those of you not listening, a stick is a incredebly useful item that has been around since the various eras known to diffrent people as the dawn of time. So there.
*: Such as it is.
A stick, as everyone knows, is a long and thinnish peice of material (commonly wood, or nowdays, plastic) which can be used for many purposes. A great example of one of the stick's endless number of uses is what it can be used for telekinesis (literaly speaking), it can be used to create fire, and you can hit people with it. Since the last two uses were the two greatest needs of our late human anscestors, the stick was greatly utilized in order to survive (and make other things not survive.)
Nowdays, however, sticks are used for even more purposes. Many bells and whistles have been added to various sticks, so with them you can keep things clean, write things, measure things, cut things, open things, paint things, kill things, eat things, and do all sorts of other things to things.
It might be noted, also, that sticks are marketed these days. Why this happens eludes us here at the Guide, because they grow on trees anyway.
In conclusion, for those of you not listening, a stick is a incredebly useful item that has been around since the various eras known to diffrent people as the dawn of time. So there.
*: Such as it is.
