'Fi were the King of the Woild...

'Fi were the the King of the Woild,

I'd tell ya what I'd dood.

I'd banish suits and robes and high-heeled shoes,

and lashes, lip paint and rouge.

I'd banish cars that cost more than a year's sallyry,

and houses that were made of tin and glue.

I'd make all the newscasters erudite,

and all the models ride to work with you.

I'd make cereal real instead of sugar-coated,

and beer a staple instead of a luxuru.

I'd make all the colleges teach ditch-digging,

and bricklaying in addition to that other goo,

and I'd make all the churches, synagogues and mosques

sell condoms, just to give the devil his due.

I'd make heterosexuality without a license,

punishable by working in a zoo,

and all those who can't keep their legs closed

work in orphanages, too.

And finally,

'Fi were the King of the Woild,

I'd ask for a personal introduction to you,

and you and you and you and you,

for it really doesn't matter why what be done,

if you're really not sure by who it be do....