Centre of the Universe
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
<p>The title of Centre of the Universe has long been hotly contested on Earth, which oddly enough is nowhere near the astronomical Centre. Still, Earth sports several locations, each laying claim to the dubious title of Centre of the Universe. These include numerous personal Web pages, and The Artist Formerly Known as Prince's bedroom. In contrast, here's a few you might actually wish to visit:</p>
<p>Republic of Fremont, Seattle, Washington, USA - My personal favorite Centre of the Universe, only because of its attitude--funky, carefree and very, very silly. A pole defining The Centre itself is in the middle of the street, giving handy directions and distances to other hot spots in M*A*S*H-style pointers (these include Paris, Wall Drug, Polaris and Atlantis). The area also contains a drawbridge with neon art of Rapunzel and the Elephant's Child, a sign proclaiming 'Set your watch back 5 minutes,' and lots and lots of unique statuary (don't miss the rocket ship, the huge troll devouring a Volkswagen, or the vast statue of Lenin brought over from Slovakia after the Iron Curtain fell). There's a Sunday Market and a wild Summer Solstice parade, a practically free outdoor movie festival all summer long, 'Trollaween' on the last day of October, and lots and lots of places to look for antiques (or as one local place calls it, "Deluxe Junk").</p>
<p>New York City, New York, USA - The Big Apple has long tooted its own horn about being <i>the</i> destination of choice for savvy Earthlings and other life forms, especially pigeons and cockroaches. More specifically, N'Yawkers themselves seem to point to the East Village as being the Centre of the Centre, so to speak. Your mileage may vary.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.walldrug.com/">Wall Drug</a>, Wall, South Dakota, USA - Hey kids! Free Ice Water! The folks at Wall Drug have made advertising a full-time obsession. If you visit from a really distant galaxy, they will probably pay you to carry back a sign proclaiming 'Wall Drug Store, 153.7 light-years thataway.'</p>
<p><a href="http://www.flekkefjord.com">Flekkefjord, Norway</a> - came into being seconds after the Big Bang occurred, and has been with us ever since. According to the town's Web page, 'The Town of Flekkefjord has been a source of legend and mystery since the dawn of the universe; giving rise to such fantasies as Atlantis, the Lost Continent of Mu, Shangri-La, and Ireland. Only in recent times, after extensive blasting into bedrock to build a Tourist Rest Area near Lake Selura, did reliable information become available to scholars. This destruction uncovered a network of secret caves, containing countless granite tablets of glyphs, pictograms, histories and zoning laws comprising the Hidden History of Flekkefjord.' This, fellow travellers, is what darkness for a full six months of the year does to the human psyche.</p>
<p>Republic of Fremont, Seattle, Washington, USA - My personal favorite Centre of the Universe, only because of its attitude--funky, carefree and very, very silly. A pole defining The Centre itself is in the middle of the street, giving handy directions and distances to other hot spots in M*A*S*H-style pointers (these include Paris, Wall Drug, Polaris and Atlantis). The area also contains a drawbridge with neon art of Rapunzel and the Elephant's Child, a sign proclaiming 'Set your watch back 5 minutes,' and lots and lots of unique statuary (don't miss the rocket ship, the huge troll devouring a Volkswagen, or the vast statue of Lenin brought over from Slovakia after the Iron Curtain fell). There's a Sunday Market and a wild Summer Solstice parade, a practically free outdoor movie festival all summer long, 'Trollaween' on the last day of October, and lots and lots of places to look for antiques (or as one local place calls it, "Deluxe Junk").</p>
<p>New York City, New York, USA - The Big Apple has long tooted its own horn about being <i>the</i> destination of choice for savvy Earthlings and other life forms, especially pigeons and cockroaches. More specifically, N'Yawkers themselves seem to point to the East Village as being the Centre of the Centre, so to speak. Your mileage may vary.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.walldrug.com/">Wall Drug</a>, Wall, South Dakota, USA - Hey kids! Free Ice Water! The folks at Wall Drug have made advertising a full-time obsession. If you visit from a really distant galaxy, they will probably pay you to carry back a sign proclaiming 'Wall Drug Store, 153.7 light-years thataway.'</p>
<p><a href="http://www.flekkefjord.com">Flekkefjord, Norway</a> - came into being seconds after the Big Bang occurred, and has been with us ever since. According to the town's Web page, 'The Town of Flekkefjord has been a source of legend and mystery since the dawn of the universe; giving rise to such fantasies as Atlantis, the Lost Continent of Mu, Shangri-La, and Ireland. Only in recent times, after extensive blasting into bedrock to build a Tourist Rest Area near Lake Selura, did reliable information become available to scholars. This destruction uncovered a network of secret caves, containing countless granite tablets of glyphs, pictograms, histories and zoning laws comprising the Hidden History of Flekkefjord.' This, fellow travellers, is what darkness for a full six months of the year does to the human psyche.</p>
