h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: British Mammals: Sika Deer - A19863787
Author: Skankyrich [?] - writing, subbing, curating, scouting and aviating. How about you? - U931109

This is the rewritten Entry that I have been working on as a collaboration with bluesue, U3270562. The original PR thread is at F5910037?thread=3666222

I'd welcome comments on whether this is ready, as I find it much harder to judge with collaborative efforts. I'm away for a few days, but there's no rush anyway

Nice read!

Hope you'll have a photo to go with the entry.

>>which sounds like a witch cackling!<< Have you ever heard a witch cackle?

*awaits comments from married men about their mother-in-law*

(doesn't rise to the bait)

Nice one Rich

Nitpicks only:

I'd say "...in a number of parks across the country", unless the parks were of various types.

I prefer "and today there is..."

I think "...in the localities of parks..." is better.

Was this a conscious decision by the MOD, or just an accidental consequence? Just interested to know.

Is "basis" better?

You describe their call as both a "whstle" and a "shriek". Are these the same thing? I'd have associated different sounds with those words.

Icy

and were exhibited in 1860 in Regents Park in London --> Regent's Park

The paragraph about Brownsea Island seems to jump to mentioning Arne quite suddenly

This was the base for the large herds of sika to be found in the forest.
-->
These pairs formed the basis of the large herds of sika found in the forest today.

If you are walking in the woods and hear the shreaking sounds it can be terrifying, it sounds as if a blood-curdling crime has been committed -
-->
If you are walking in the woods and hear the shreaking sounds it can be terrifying - it sounds as if a blood-curdling crime has been committed -

Alex

Here's a small nitpick about the title.

Do they count as British mammals if they aren't native to Britain?

Yes, they do! I'll add an explanation to the Entry when I correct Alex's suggestions later on

Just like them dang wallabies

I think I've addressed all those, thanks guys

Looks good!

Nice Entry. Precious little to complain about

However:

The Dorset Population 2nd para last sentence: (I think you should either drop the 'as', or change 'being' to 'is')

The Dorset Population 3rd para 3rd line: (comma missing after 'Beaulieu')?

Description 1st line: [reddish-brown]

Description 2nd para 4th line:
(but no nearer? ) ('as far as / up to a kilometre away)? It's too early in the day for me to tell whether that's just pedantry.

Also, the word 'sounds' is used no less than five times in the last four lines of the paragraph - it should be easy to replace some of them with synonyms or by rephrasing.

Conservation 1st para 4th line: [world]

Conservation 1st para 5th line: [no one] Also, I don't see the necessity to put extra stress on the word 'really' by italicating...

Seeing Sika Deer 5th line: (they may become curious and come closer to investigate you!)? You could italicize the final 'you' for stress...

Thanks RE - all done except the last one, which I tried and didn't like. Thanks very much

But...but, that was my favourite.



Oh, wait. I haven't double-checked yet................

Erm...

Description 1st line: [reddish-brown] You don't like 'reddish-brown'?

Description 2nd para 4th line: No need now for the 'from'.

Poo. Sorry, I've done those now

I've rewritten parts of this, as I've found some more information about the deer's origins and conservation issues relating to them

Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've therefore moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.

If you'd like to know what happens now, check out the page on 'What Happens after your Entry has been Recommended?' at EditedGuide-Process. We hope this explains everything.

Thanks for contributing to the Edited Guide!

Well Done

Yay! Does this get added to the project or will it be a stand-alone?