h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

no but i once fed the dog an entire pack of mince then said the hamster did it

Poor hampster. I was ready to tell my teacher that i couldn't do my homework because my cat sat on it (I was paying more attention to it than to her)

what it is with cats and sitting on paper I'll never know

It goes crinkle

One cat made a nest under the draws before, it wasn't a nice thing to find

I can imagine not

She's always had a thing about ripping paper up. I left a piece of paper overhanding the edge of the bopokshelf and she had to sit on the desk and pat it...

Admittedly I did join in just to mess with her. She didn't seem to mind.

She was patting some paper, so patted the other side. She just looked at me like she wanted to say "What are you doing? That's my paper"

Ah,
I end up with the psycotic cats that attack toes in the night

That's why they spend the night in the living room, with the door closed...that and the yowling for food in the mornings.

mine can't meow
never has been able to
perhaps thats where he gets his deep seated hatred of small creatures

That's odd. Most of the cats I know meow for attention, or in the case of vanity the fat, a warning that she's trying to get over the fence.

hasn't it been hot lately
I hate hot

I know, I'm currently working on a plot to destroy the sun...want to help?

Gladly,

Well, you take this bomb with a short fuse to the sun and I'll wait here.

I can't I get sun burn really easy....

You need sun cream: SPF 1000

but unfortunately there all out of stock...
everywhere

*ignores resently ignited bonfire of sunscrean*