The Many, Many Uses of Long Hair
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
One of the wonderful things about long hair is that besides looking pretty cool, it also has a plethora of uses. For example:
1) Weapon (provided one has room to swing one's head in a large arc--the very ends of it can sting pretty seriously, and most people will be plenty annoyed just by having it swung in their faces)
2) Shield (very useful when someone is trying to jab one in the neck--if it's thick enough, it takes forever to wade through, by which time one can of course take preventative measures)
3) Pillow (quite nice when one feels like lying down and the only surfaces available are hard flat ones)
4) Sun visor (wonderful for keeping the light out of one's eyes while sunbathing or taking a nap)
5) Screen (can easily be allowed to fall forward over one's face in order to hide, for example, a yawn, and can also hide stains and such on the back of one's shirt or neck)
6) Clothing, of a sort (no need to be embarrassed if walked in upon while in a state of partial undress)
7) Cold-weather gear (who needs scarves or earmuffs on a chilly night?)
8) Decoy (if one's scalp is tough enough--people trying to cause one pain will quite likely go for the hair and discover too late that it has very little effect)
9) Sponge (in a pinch, it can soak up a certain amount of liquid)
And of course,
10) Annoyance device (this works in so many ways--when it's wet, water can be dripped from it onto an unsuspecting victim; when it's dry, letting it dangle in people's faces is supremely annoying)
1) Weapon (provided one has room to swing one's head in a large arc--the very ends of it can sting pretty seriously, and most people will be plenty annoyed just by having it swung in their faces)
2) Shield (very useful when someone is trying to jab one in the neck--if it's thick enough, it takes forever to wade through, by which time one can of course take preventative measures)
3) Pillow (quite nice when one feels like lying down and the only surfaces available are hard flat ones)
4) Sun visor (wonderful for keeping the light out of one's eyes while sunbathing or taking a nap)
5) Screen (can easily be allowed to fall forward over one's face in order to hide, for example, a yawn, and can also hide stains and such on the back of one's shirt or neck)
6) Clothing, of a sort (no need to be embarrassed if walked in upon while in a state of partial undress)
7) Cold-weather gear (who needs scarves or earmuffs on a chilly night?)
8) Decoy (if one's scalp is tough enough--people trying to cause one pain will quite likely go for the hair and discover too late that it has very little effect)
9) Sponge (in a pinch, it can soak up a certain amount of liquid)
And of course,
10) Annoyance device (this works in so many ways--when it's wet, water can be dripped from it onto an unsuspecting victim; when it's dry, letting it dangle in people's faces is supremely annoying)
