h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi - Not a bad article but would not pass the eagle eyes of the Sub Editors to get through the maze of articles reaching the Editors Anna and Mark Moxom desk.

First they are after authoritative work and should be written in this style. I can be funny if that is your style or serious but all statements should be factual and not opinion. Therefore drop the 'I' and 'you' and always try to write in the third person as you have done in most of the article. IE
*******************
The sentence "Although many of 'you' may disagree with this one, 'I' want to include a third group, being:"

could be written thus:

Although it may be a matter of contention, a third group should be considered which is this:
********************

" 'Personally', 'I' believe this is a short-sighted idea."
could be written:
This point of view (to say the least) could be described as being short sighted:

********************

The heading:
"What good is this article, then? "

Asking and answering your own questions shows lack of conviction as if you are unsure what others may think and trying to convince them as well as yourself that it could be true. I would delete this paragraph, it has no informative information.

Be more positive and let others think you are an expert on the subject - even if your not - and do not engage in opinion unless it is the opinion of a well known expert which helps you make or stress a specific point. Make sure all links to off site are not considered to be advertising - most off site links will cause an automatic rejection.

It's a good Idea and perhaps you should build the article around the title rather than give a weak explanation in the final paragraph.

Thats all I can think of for now perhaps I will come back another time to see what you have done with it.
vegiman

Well, you're giving me something to work with here...
Now I'll try to clarify some things.

First of all, this article was NEVER meant to be submitted for approval. It's just an entry to start a discussion with.
From that point of view, I think there's no problem with giving my opinion. After all, I wish to discuss things, in HOPES of finding material that's good enough for submission. What better way to get response, than by ventilating my own thoughts first?

The questions that I ask and then reply to, are questions that I expected to be asked by others. People might wonder:
a. If the article is not meant to be submitted, why is it there at all?
b. Why am I engaging in this exercise, even knowing that there already are several items on the subject?
c. What does this al have to do with the title I gave it?

These questions are valid, and they deserve an answer too. However, I don't want to wait for those questions, in order to answer them at that point, because it would just "soil" the discussion

As to convincing anybody: I don't need to convince myself. I already was convinced of the value and purpose of the item before I started it.

This al does not mean that I'll disregard your comments, however. On the contrary: When I start working on the "ultimate version" (which WILL be submitted for approval), I'll look back at your suggestions, most of which made sense even before you mentioned them , and put them to good use.
Better still: when I've produced something that I want to submit, I'll have you review it first. English isn't my home language after all, so some of the finer nuances may escape me. You proved that already with a quote like: "Although it may be a matter of contention, a third group should be considered which is this:"
I would never have come up with a word like "contention". I can give it a meaning NOW, but I never heard of it before!

This may also explain, why I didn't intend to submit this.
And now to the discussion itself... Would you have anything to add to the *content* of my work, too?

having said all of the above, I'll be reviewing my work, and adjust a *few* things to make it look (a little) better in your perception. The intention of the work won't change, however... it's still just an item to open a discussion in search of statements that are really usefull for submission later

I see you have had a tidy up - it looks a lot better - I also see you are getting the response you are seeking on the other forum. I look forward in seeing the finished work.

Good luck and every success.
vegiman

Thank, same here... I'll see where it leads me, and keep you informed