h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Do you think you could be suffering from paranoia? I can only speak of the grey variety of these furry creatures and from my observation their needs are very simple! Food, shelter and a mate! Much like the homo sapien. Why should they take over the world and all that reponsibility when their good looks, cheeky ways and natural cleverness can supply all their needs. I feed two resident squirrels in my garden and although they do look through into the house, they show no signs of taking it further! I think their size could be a disadvantage. They also do not cause any damage in my garden which is full of young trees and shrubs. In fact I think they are trying to become self suficient as they have buried hazelnuts in the garden and now have four small trees growing. If I were you I would stop worrying and look to the rest of the human race where you may find greater predators than the humble squirrel, bat or other furry or feathered being.

"Food, shelter and a mate! Much like the homo sapien." - to know the enemy you must become the enemy. they are mimicking us to learn our weaknesses.

"Why should they take over the world and all that reponsibility when their good looks, cheeky ways and natural cleverness can supply all their needs." - but can they iron their own clothes without opposable thumbs? i think not. hide your hads people! hide your hands!

"they do look through into the house, they show no signs of taking it further! I think their size could be a disadvantage." - so you admit it! they do look in don't let their rodenty innocence fool you. and as for size, what about numbers? claws? teeth?

"In fact I think they are trying to become self suficient" - a bit like America is trying to become in Iraq yes? it is called invasion my dear sir/madam.

"look to the rest of the human race where you may find greater predators than the humble squirrel, bat or other furry or feathered being" - BATS! i forgot about them and what other furry creatures?!? you see, they are amassing an army as we speak!!

RUN! RUN FOR THE HILLS!!

OK - so you may have a point! But do you know what, I think I would rather take my chances with the furrys and the feathered beings in this world - oh or the BATS, than I would with the people. Yep, this lady is going to run to the hills eventually, but, its to join them not hide from them.Welsh hills, I will be there soon (when I have enough money to give up working!)

you poor thing

you'll be used to feed their offspring if you go alone...unarmed.

stay, stay here with civilisation. help us protect our glorious history from the future of rodent kind. take up arms against the furry invasion of the soft and lovable critters. do not fail your own species now, we need all the numbers we have and then some more...besides, it gets chilly in the welsh hills this time of year

Thanks for your kind words but I'm sure to be ok. I'm going armed with peanuts in their shell, they can't resist them, and I do not go alone.I have another to keep me warm!

I am currently studying grey squirrels for my PhD. From a scientifically objective viewpoint... you may be onto something here. We should bear in mind the fate of the red squirrel - forced to eke out an existence only in such remote outposts as Northumberland and northern Scotland.

On the other hand - if your worries are leading you to action, can i ask you to leave alone the grey squirrels in Devon else I'll be ruined for getting any more data!

We have hundreds of little red squirrels in Manitoba, also big greys, and in some area, even flying squirrels. There may be a point here, though. We rush out to buy peanuts for the little dears, and they do manage to do us out of at least part of our lunch begging for the crusts from our sandwiches. And if the food isn't forthcoming, they aren't above cursing us out, are they? But they're so CUTE! Like a beautiful but spoiled rotten little kid!

It seems that all manner of furry beasts have plots for world domination... It is well known that sheep have been in open war with humankind for some time now. (A586767) Perhaps they are in cahoots? If they aren't, and after they have defeated humanity, will they go to war against one another? Who will win--sheep or squirrels?
-Rivaine

Good question, probably squirrels, only because they've learned to live in the city, as well, where sheep have stayed in the country.

What about gophers? There's open warfare being waged on the farms and in the gardens out there in the country. For every gopher a farmer kills, there are a hundred more. Gopher holes pop up like mushrooms in crops, on lawns and all over pastures. Its all a plot to drive the farmers completely crazy, and they can be a hazard to sheep, too - a stumble in a gopher hole could break a leg.

so it's furry rodents versus furry mammals and we're stuck in the middle

No, that can't be right! Rodents ARE mammmals, just a different grouping.
If there is any war out there against us, I would bet its the termites and the locusts we have to worry about! Squirrels and sheep live in harmony with us, in comparison!Leave the 'furrys' alone.

Where do you all live? Do you live on this planet? I live on the planet Earth. I regularly come home to find my kitchen has been turned upside down by some squirel. They come in through the doggie door, rummange through the pantry, eat what they like, and throw what they don't like all over the counters and floor. I've come in to see them standing on the fridge in the middle of the whole mess more than once (I've also found them in the closet and had to leave the house to get them to come out). They sit up on the shelves and eat the very expensive white chocolate I've bought for my baking. They leave peanut shells and almond skins everywhere. Before this, they were content to eat anything and everything I put in the bird feeders, and then they ate the bird feeders. Then they'd sit outside my window at the crack of dawn and bark until I came out and gave them nuts. Then they'd come up to my window during the day and make clucking noises at me while I tried to work on the computer. Then I started coming home to find them helping themselves. Now I have to keep a bowl of nuts on top of the fridge and the window open. That way they take the nuts and don't tear up the rest of the kitchen. They are like little furry mobsters demanding protection legumes.

See? Squirrels are quite capable of taking over! They're just too smart for their own (and our own!) good.

Last night I found they'd gnawed on half a loaf of wheat bread. They didn't eat half a loaf, they just gnawed part of about 12 slices. Of course, they could have just ate one slice and left the rest alone, but noooooo, they gotta be little hoodlums about everything. I also found their tooth marks on the box of Mexican chocolate, like a little squirrel warning or something. I used to think it was an accident when they'd rip up the potted plants and break the pots, but now I'm not so sure.