Necrophilia is the practice of sleeping with the dead. This is not to be confused with sleeping like the dead, which is somewhat dissimilar. If you sleep like the dead, you wake up with a bad taste in your mouth, and a pleasant, warm feeling that one always has when one has had a good night's sleep. If you sleep with the dead, you wake up with a bad taste in your mouth, a pleasant, warm feeling that one always has when one has slept with someone (or so I'm told) and a court summons.

Yes, that's right, a court summons.

Necrophilia is illegal. Which is silly really, because it's not as if the victims can offer any evidence, is it? And it can't technically be classed as rape because the victim can't really be said to have put up any form of protest, either mentally or physically, can they? And I think that it's the wish of all on Earth to leave something behind to pleasure those who still live. I mean, it's just that Fate has chosen a rather more direct form of legacy to the living. And who's to say that, had the circumstances been different, that the passed-on person would have objected? It's silly.

OK, OK, perhaps it's not that silly. Not as silly, as, perhaps, shouting 'WALTHAMSTOW!!!' at passersby. Or shooting frogs with rocket-launchers. But it's still quite silly.

Alright, alright, maybe it's very serious, and not very silly. At all.

On a final note, it's probably not such a hot idea to try out necrophilia, even if you're curious. Emerging from the gates of a graveyard with a shovel, an unzipped fly and a bloody great grin on your face does not endear you to people you may pass in the street.

And besides, Domino's pizza don't deliver to mortuaries.