h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*tries to envision pizza delivery person in the middle of the dark ages*


Ah,well...

*a strange Italian from Macievelli's army turns up*

Youa Pizza. That will be 2 grouts please.

well, to be truthful, they had pasta in those days too - the Romans brought it over

now, can someone help me get this deer Kitty so thoughtfully brought on the spit in front of the fire?

Hmmm...Do you have change for a five?

I'll grab the front legs if you grab the back ones.

Menza, load up ICQ, Kitty wants to send you a present

Thanks Kitty.

is this deer going to lie here all week or are you two going to lift it onto the spit?

*grabs the two back legs of the deer and helps Menza carry it to the spit*

I assume we attach the deer the traditional way?

no, I've already spitted it, you just have to lift it on, thanks

it is a baking night tonight, so I'll be busy in the kitchen. so, you two, one at each end, that's right. Now grab onto the handle, yes. Now, ox, turn it clockwise, Menza, turn it widdershine.... there you go, that's right. It'll be done in about 12 hours. Don't forget to keep the fire stoked.

I should hope so this is the Medieval room after all, do you mind if I don't watch.

stay here, you can stoke the fire

OK

*Puts some more logs on fire*

*wanders in with a and sits down to watch the action*

12 hours, you have got to be kidding.

*hands EV an axe and directs him to the woodpile*

can't have you sitting around not working

well if you don't turn it, or get something mechanical to turn it, one side will be burnt and the other raw and none of it nice to eat.

I lead a dateless life, I can give it a turn now and again.

you might get tired - you mustn't fall asleep or it'll burn

As another sad dateless person I can stoke it tonight but I'm out on the pull tomorrow.