h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Here's one:

One day, some Liverpudlians turn up at the Pearly Gates. Having never seen such a thing occur before, this prompts St Peter to run off to God to ask what to do. "Just do the usual" said God "send them off to hell." So St Peter goes back to sort out the problem, but then suddenly comes sprinting back shouting "They're gone! They're gone!"
"What?", asks God, "The Liverpudlians you were speaking of?"
"No, replies St Peter, "The Pearly Gates"...

I'm happy with the content of this entry now, so I think it is time to start pointing out spelling and grammatical errors. Let the floodgates open!

G

There should be a space after every comma.
There should be a space before every opening bracket.
There should be a space after every closing bracket.

where ,God, angels -- remove that first comma
Madalyn Murray Ohair --> Madalyn Murray O'Hair
adament --> adamant
did.there --> did. There
existed)like the --> existed), like the
greek --> Greek
Confusianist --> Confucianist

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth where it grows rusty -->
Do not store up for yourselves treasure on earth where it grows rusty

down from heaven, The Son of Man -- use small t on 'the'

perfect celestrial bodies --> perfect celestial bodies
John 1 verse twelve says --> John 1:12 says
he gives the right --> He gives the right

If you were to die today and God asked why should I allow you entry into my heaven? What would your answer be.
-->
If you were to die today and God asked why He should allow you entry into His heaven, What would your answer be?

In the Pilgrims Progress
-->
In The Pilgrim's Progress

Bunyon --> Bunyan
many christians --> many Christians
in my fathers house --> in my father's house
caught up by The Spirit --> caught up by the Spirit
thusly --> thus
round about the he throne --> round about the throne
supernatural diety --> supernatural deity

A Catholic Encyclopeia stated the following: The Word comes from the following (Anglo-Saxon)heofon from the Old Saxon: himin which was the roof of the world

That isn't actually a direct quote from the Catholic Encylopedia so I suggest you word it as follows:

According to the Catholic Encyclopedia (1917), the word comes from the Anglo-Saxon heofan which probably means 'cover', in other words, the roof of the world. The Latin word for heaven, coelum, has a similar derivation.

'without and beyond it's limits -- you've quoted this out of context as you don't say what 'it' refers to. Try this:

'not within the earth, but ... without and beyond its limits'

Another question for which we have no answer is How much longer will heaven exist? -->
Another question for which we have no answer is 'How much longer will heaven exist?'

As the the book --> As the book

A cabbie and a preacher showed up at the Pearly Gates together. St Peter looks up the cabbie in his book, smiles at him, gives him a golden harp and gold-trimmed robes, and lets him in. Then he looks the preacher up, nods, gives him a wooden harp and white robes. The preacher naturally protested, pointing out that he had dedicated his entire life to bringing people closer to the service of God while the cabbie hadn't.
"Sorry sir," St Peter replied, "Up here we go for results. And the records show that when you did your thing, people slept. When the cabbie did his, people prayed."

Also, there's a space between the end of the sentence and the period in the first blockquote - there shouldn't be.

And all the subsequent blockquotes should be italicized.

done.

and his smile drives --> and His smile drives

O'Hair(1919-1995)were -- put a space before the left bracket and a space after the right bracket.

only a glimse --> only a glimpse

You don't need quote marks at the start and end of the big quotations, since they are already in Blockquotes and italics.

we will see there,but some day -- put a space after the comma

that'the true church -- put a space after that

Doing their part in the body of Christ -- use small d for doing

What would your answer be -- use small w for what

answered that question 'I trust -- put a colon immediately after question

shed for me' -- put a full stop after the quote mark.

You've a rogue full stop between a and a

The Pilgrims Progress --> The Pilgrim's Progress

I don't like the way the joke is formatted at the moment, but I don't know how it should be done, so I'll leave it for a sub-editor to sort out.

about the he throne itself --> about the throne itself

we four living creatures --> were four living creatures

who lives forever and ever the twenty-four elders -- put a comma after 'and ever'

stars)were affixed -- add a space after the right bracket

Encyclopedia(1917) -- add a space before the left bracket

'cover' in other words -- add a colon after the end quotation mark of 'cover'

which translates 'on high' --> which translates to 'on high' (and add a full stop at the end)

My comment about "without and beyond it's limits" still applies. You haven't sorted it.

'How far away is heaven, someone once asked -- add a closing quote mark after heaven

'not far', came the response -- use a capital N for Not

>>Famous figures like Madalyn Murray O'Hair(1919-1995)were adamant that it did not exist. <<

- spaces between O'Hair and (1919-1995) as well as the closing bracket and "were".


>>ite of Valhalla, the Greek Elysian Fields, the Jewish Gan Eden, the Confucianist Tian, and the Muslim Jannah, but for information on those one must search elsewhere.<<

- h2g2 style removes the comma after Tian (before "and the Muslim Jannah).


There's something a bit funny about the formatting of the following:
>>
here are Christians who honestly think that this is an extended process which occurs in three stages

* first you are a member of the Church Militant- Working to do Christ's will here on earth with limited success
* . Then becoming part of the Church Expectant not yet given full access to heaven
* and finally becoming one of the Church Resplendent actually living in heaven.
<<

- there seems to be an extra line in there somewhere, possible because of a peripatetic period (full stop).



>> Another time someone asked Christ about a widow who had remarried. In heaven whose wife was she? Christ replied:'You are mistaken and surely this is the reason: you do not know either the scriptures or the power of God. When they rise from the dead, men and women do not marry: but are like the angels in heaven.'6<<

- I believe that the quote should either be non-italicised and put in quotation marks, or italicised and put into a blockquote.


>>On the under surface of this dome lamps (i.e. stars)were affixed by some supernatural deity.<<
- missing a space between ")" and "were".


>>According to the Catholic Encyclopedia(1917) <<
- same problem.






Just finish the tidying and it's probably ready to go.

shagbark wakes up and looks around.
Oh, MY!!! work to do.
Rolls up his shaggy sleeves.

I thought Gnomen was satisfied as to content, however to clarify his without and beyond context I am putting a longer block quote here.

well, that round of changes is done.

>>h2g2 style removes the comma after Tian (before "and the Muslim Jannah).

Oh no it doesn't! We use the style of a comma before and in long lists.

beyond it's limits --> beyond its limits

>>
>>h2g2 style removes the comma after Tian (before "and the Muslim Jannah).

Oh no it doesn't! We use the style of a comma before and in long lists.<<

Where does it say that? I've been going according to what I thought was standard British style with no serial/Oxford comma. Now that I check the style guide, I see it doesn't specify.

It's always the same ones isn't it?

in RL I've been having headaches and irregular heart rhythm the last few days.
I may be half an hour in heavenbefore Gnomen knows I'm gone
(an adaptation of an old irish blessing )

Sorry to hear about your heart, Shagbark.

Hi Leo. I've looked in the h2g2 Style Guide (A266131) and it doesn't specifically mention the comma before and in long lists. But it is certainly something that the Eds have mentioned a few times. They consider it good practice.

Well, I'm feeling a bit better today. If we had medical coverage in Michi8gan like they do in the UK I would have more3 done for my health.
I had a doctors visit in November he charged $150 and my insurance
covered $32. A person cqan go in debt real fast that way.

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