Death: Him, it, and you.
Created | Updated Feb 12, 2002
In this particular entry, we shall discuss (or rather, you will read about) the subject(s) of death. This revokeing
of your status of "alive" comes in diffrent forms.
Death, Him: The Grim Reaper, the Angel of Death, That Bony Guy with the Weird Blade Thingy, and other less
complementary titles all refer to this supposedly most Evil of entities. In reality, however, he is not Evil. He merely
does his job, which is one of the more important ones in the multiverse. He is employed by God to rid the world of
those so careless as to be run over by trucks, fall down more than ten storys, annoy a bad tempered criminal who
has a gun, or swallow too much chewing gum. This acts as a replacement for God's Apocalypse plan (in which
every one gets killed all at once) by making every one get killed at one time or another.
And Death himself is not too bad ethier. He is more than just a black cloak with a Weird Blade Thingy. On his
time off, he goes places with his friends (Plague, Disaster, and Plague's little brother Bad Health), paints (mostly
surrealism and postmortemism), and generaly lives a normal immortality. So next time you see him, make his job
a tiny bit easyer and go quietly, without the screaming and anguish that he considers the worst part of his occupation.
Death, it: The Skeptics have this to say about dieing:
"dieing is the end of life. Nothing else. No becoming a ghost, no going to heaven, no meeting a spectre who
styles himself the Angel of Death. So there."
That is, of course, a complete lie. (No offence to skeptics.)
Ignoring for a moment the actual act of qualifying for a death permit, we shall look at what death shares in common
with other things. Most apparent of these is the connection between dieing and dieting. Besides the "t", there is no
real diffrence. There are also connections with the act of dieing to the act of intercepting with one's body a small peice
of lead going near the speed of sound, and therefore many devices have been created for the purpose of convinceing
a peice of lead to go really fast. These odd devices, which exist for the sole purpose of overworking the Grim Reaper,
are called "guns."
Oddly enough, however, despite Man's apparent obsession with death (normaly other people's), no one has actualy
found when a person is "dead." This is because no one has found what it means to be alive, and therefore its very hard
to tell when one is not so. The problem of finding out is the almost complete lack of volunteering test subjects.
Death, you: Look out!!
of your status of "alive" comes in diffrent forms.
Death, Him: The Grim Reaper, the Angel of Death, That Bony Guy with the Weird Blade Thingy, and other less
complementary titles all refer to this supposedly most Evil of entities. In reality, however, he is not Evil. He merely
does his job, which is one of the more important ones in the multiverse. He is employed by God to rid the world of
those so careless as to be run over by trucks, fall down more than ten storys, annoy a bad tempered criminal who
has a gun, or swallow too much chewing gum. This acts as a replacement for God's Apocalypse plan (in which
every one gets killed all at once) by making every one get killed at one time or another.
And Death himself is not too bad ethier. He is more than just a black cloak with a Weird Blade Thingy. On his
time off, he goes places with his friends (Plague, Disaster, and Plague's little brother Bad Health), paints (mostly
surrealism and postmortemism), and generaly lives a normal immortality. So next time you see him, make his job
a tiny bit easyer and go quietly, without the screaming and anguish that he considers the worst part of his occupation.
Death, it: The Skeptics have this to say about dieing:
"dieing is the end of life. Nothing else. No becoming a ghost, no going to heaven, no meeting a spectre who
styles himself the Angel of Death. So there."
That is, of course, a complete lie. (No offence to skeptics.)
Ignoring for a moment the actual act of qualifying for a death permit, we shall look at what death shares in common
with other things. Most apparent of these is the connection between dieing and dieting. Besides the "t", there is no
real diffrence. There are also connections with the act of dieing to the act of intercepting with one's body a small peice
of lead going near the speed of sound, and therefore many devices have been created for the purpose of convinceing
a peice of lead to go really fast. These odd devices, which exist for the sole purpose of overworking the Grim Reaper,
are called "guns."
Oddly enough, however, despite Man's apparent obsession with death (normaly other people's), no one has actualy
found when a person is "dead." This is because no one has found what it means to be alive, and therefore its very hard
to tell when one is not so. The problem of finding out is the almost complete lack of volunteering test subjects.
Death, you: Look out!!
