Love
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
Note to reader: part of an email debate with one of my best friends (Researcher Skie). She wanted to know my view on exactly what love was.. so here I go....
Love, eh? Wow, I could probably go on and on forever about that. So I'll try to keep it down to a just a few paragrahps, okay?
So, hmm, you want a definition? Well, to quote myself, "Love isn't about hugging or kissing or any type of physical intimacy. It's about caring so much for another person that you'd die for them if necessary, and knowing without a doubt
in your mind that they'd do the same for you." (you'll laugh when you hear where I got the inspiration for that from....) People keep on confusing love and making love... it's not one in the same, and I know you know that. the former should lead to the other, and it doesn't work the other way around.
Now, what qualifies as love? Umm... I think I'm gonna have trouble with this one, because, I don't think I've definately experienced anything other than extreme like. Really, with all of my "guys", it was more intensified like-- definately not puppy love or real love, somewhere inbetween. And basically the reason I say that is because it was one-sided. I was the only one who reflected the feeling. Love goes two ways, both people have to be involved for it to work. Like doesn't imply this sharing of feelings. That leads directly to what I consider real love and puppy love. Puppy love is more... well, fake. I know that doesn't get anywhere, but it is. With puppy love, people tend to stay together because of "political" reasons (like just so they can say they're going out with a star football player or the captain of the cheerleading squad), or because of security reasons-- as if they feel they need to be "with" someone to be happy.
Real love. Big topic, new paragraph. Real love crosses all bounderies of "politics", looks, status, even past interests and such. Real love makes the "love is blind" quote true, but only to a point. See, when someone really and truly loves someone, they DO see all of their love's faults, status, etc, etc., but they look past it and see the person behind the mask. It's seeing and accepting, and then living with it, not pretending it doesn't exist. And I guess that's why so many people say that teenagers can't feel love-- at least real love-- and dismiss it for puppy love. Real love requires maturity of mind, which even adults can't achieve. Anyone can be blind, but it takes a truly mature person to deal with what exists. that's the short definition of real love. :-)
Now, as to how people know... and what makes them sure. I'm probably the worst person to ask about that, but, I think it has something to do with being able to spend long periods away from your love and still care deeply for them. And
probably being able to see some of yourself and what you want to be in the person you love. And (fragments, yes, I know, deal with it :-), hmm, I don't know how to really describe it! (especially since I don't know myself) I think it's just
one of those things that you simply KNOW. It's different for everybody, so I don't think there's any one way to know. it's something that one must see with their heart, not try to explain with their mind.
***
"Love is patient and kind, never jealous or envious, never boastful or proud, never haughty or selfish or rude. Love does not demand its own way. It is not irritable or touchy. It does not hold grudges and will hardly even notice when
others do it wrong. It is never glad about injustice, but rejoices whever truth wins out. If you love someone you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost. You will always believe in him, always expect the best of him, and always stand
your ground in defending him." --1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love, eh? Wow, I could probably go on and on forever about that. So I'll try to keep it down to a just a few paragrahps, okay?
So, hmm, you want a definition? Well, to quote myself, "Love isn't about hugging or kissing or any type of physical intimacy. It's about caring so much for another person that you'd die for them if necessary, and knowing without a doubt
in your mind that they'd do the same for you." (you'll laugh when you hear where I got the inspiration for that from....) People keep on confusing love and making love... it's not one in the same, and I know you know that. the former should lead to the other, and it doesn't work the other way around.
Now, what qualifies as love? Umm... I think I'm gonna have trouble with this one, because, I don't think I've definately experienced anything other than extreme like. Really, with all of my "guys", it was more intensified like-- definately not puppy love or real love, somewhere inbetween. And basically the reason I say that is because it was one-sided. I was the only one who reflected the feeling. Love goes two ways, both people have to be involved for it to work. Like doesn't imply this sharing of feelings. That leads directly to what I consider real love and puppy love. Puppy love is more... well, fake. I know that doesn't get anywhere, but it is. With puppy love, people tend to stay together because of "political" reasons (like just so they can say they're going out with a star football player or the captain of the cheerleading squad), or because of security reasons-- as if they feel they need to be "with" someone to be happy.
Real love. Big topic, new paragraph. Real love crosses all bounderies of "politics", looks, status, even past interests and such. Real love makes the "love is blind" quote true, but only to a point. See, when someone really and truly loves someone, they DO see all of their love's faults, status, etc, etc., but they look past it and see the person behind the mask. It's seeing and accepting, and then living with it, not pretending it doesn't exist. And I guess that's why so many people say that teenagers can't feel love-- at least real love-- and dismiss it for puppy love. Real love requires maturity of mind, which even adults can't achieve. Anyone can be blind, but it takes a truly mature person to deal with what exists. that's the short definition of real love. :-)
Now, as to how people know... and what makes them sure. I'm probably the worst person to ask about that, but, I think it has something to do with being able to spend long periods away from your love and still care deeply for them. And
probably being able to see some of yourself and what you want to be in the person you love. And (fragments, yes, I know, deal with it :-), hmm, I don't know how to really describe it! (especially since I don't know myself) I think it's just
one of those things that you simply KNOW. It's different for everybody, so I don't think there's any one way to know. it's something that one must see with their heart, not try to explain with their mind.
***
"Love is patient and kind, never jealous or envious, never boastful or proud, never haughty or selfish or rude. Love does not demand its own way. It is not irritable or touchy. It does not hold grudges and will hardly even notice when
others do it wrong. It is never glad about injustice, but rejoices whever truth wins out. If you love someone you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost. You will always believe in him, always expect the best of him, and always stand
your ground in defending him." --1 Corinthians 13:4-7
