I had a video-taped series of seminars from the guru of loo arpeggios once upon a time. It got waterlogged and the heads on my vcr became overcome with more oxide than than they were used to.

Nowadays I rely on my personal trainer, Vick, who selects the proper instruments and the pitch and key for me and puts it on a calendar according to my star chart and the fengshui orientation of the tub drain.

I couldn't be happier... unless I could realize my dream of having a tuned bathtub with an aeolian harp hanging over it...