Whilst I was walking in the woods

Avoiding chaps with pulled-up hoods,

Thinking thoughts of strawberry jam,

Muffins, nipple-clamps and spam,

I saw a lake of deepest green,

Where no lake before had been,

And limping to that spot I found

A frog which made a lovely sound.

"What a frog you are!" I cried

"Kiss me quick !" the frog replied;

I blushed and then took off my shoes -

Such a prize I could not lose.

As I swam close her eyes grew wide

She puckered as I drew aside;

I kissed her then pulled off her legs,

I'd heard that these went well with eggs.