H2G2 Storytime III: From Prussia with Love. Part XLIV
Created | Updated Aug 14, 2006
Arthur slumped down by the side of the Hall of Testimony tired and phlegmatic.
"That's all very nice but it doesn't get me any closer to Sreka."
X looked at his partner sadly. "I don't think you're in much of a fit state to do anything Arthur - least of all take on that psychotic Russian mobster."
Arthur turned to the two archologists. "So which way to do we go? There are two doors."
"We don't know." We think this is some sort of map but it's going to take us a while to figure it out."
"We don't have time for this," Arthur said to X feeling annoyed at the Archeologists geological manner of working. In earshot he could hear Ody and Jamila comparing theories about the map and which way was "up" and gritted his teeth.
"Right." X agreed, taking the torch by his partner's side and marching toward a connecting dome.
"I'm going to do a little reconnaissance." X announced.
"I'll come with you," heaved Arthur, struggling to stand.
"You stay here Arthur," X sounded concerned. "You're in no state to go anywhere - just rest."
He accepted Arthurs furious scowling as merited and called to Ody,
"Hey, doc, which dome are we in?"
"Erm," Ody paused arguing with Jamila and started scanning the Chamber. "Seventy....two I think. You're standing in front of "Seventy one"
"Okay, so let's see whats at the end of chamber one." X said.
The torch ffuff'd as X spun around made his way opposite into Chamber Seventy One.
"Seventy One ... ... ... ... ... Seventy ... ... ... ... ... Sixty Nine..." X's voice could be heard counting down, and growing more distant, as he passed through each room, towards the start of the Citadel's recorded history.
The fiery orange glow against his silhouette gradually slowly disappeared from Arthur's view.
Rise" said the cracked voice.
Mary hesitated.
The cowl twitched in recognition of this.
"Something is amiss Sister?"
"No. Not at all." she said rising suddenly and grabbing the abbot by the collar of his cassok.
"What!? What are you doing?" gasped the Abbot in alarm his cowl slipped backwards revealing a small man with skin crinkled like packing paper and hair thinning like mist.
Mary pulled back her cowl and grinned murderously
"Too long have the nuns of the North laboured under the whims of the Monks and The Master. I bring change - and change requires...sacrifice." she said hauling him bodily toward the edge of the bridge.
"nooo - no wait!"
With a grunt of effort she cast him over the side.
"There's a new mast - arrrgh!" he cried out - and abruptly ceased.
He sizzled gently as the acid in the moat consumed him.
Von Trapp lowered the binoculars.
"She did it." Vandeveer said looking at Sreka.
"De old witch is tougher than she looks." Sreka murmered appreciating a good killing when he saw one and rubbing his leg distantly.
"Come on back to the gates." Von Trapp order the group back towards the place where they had ascended.
As they reached the loose rock shelf that led to the vantage point above the halls of convergence. An agitated tropue of Citadel gurardians could be seen in the distance making their way rapidly towards their position.
"Here come the guards." said Vandeveer pointed out miserably.
Daltmooreby? Von Trapp gestured.
Daltmooreby shot the grappel into the roof of the cave and swung out over the edge, above the doors which led into the chamber. He undid a catch and descended rapidly into the gloom below where the flickering torches set high into the cave walls obscured his actions.
There were a few muted "oomph!"'s and a rather nasty cracking sound at one point, before Daltmoore whinched back up, and, rubing a bruised eye socket, said: "Coast is clear."
At this Mary opened the gates to the chamber over which Daltmooreby was suspened.
"Get down from there Sean!" she hissed.
"Right-o" said the spy zipping down to meet her and sending the belt harness back up for to Von Trapp who began to fiddle with the harness.
Mary surveyed the damage done to the silent bodies of the guards.
"It was always going to be like this." she said sadly.
"I know." Daltmoore noodded almost imperceptibly.
Von Trapp swung out over the dge and began to lower himself down.
Seizing an opportunity, Vandeveer turned to Sreka and whispered conspiratorialy "Listen to me.... Andrei, we have to do something...
Von Trapp appeared beside Sean and Mary, undid the belt and sent it back up into the darkness in the roof of the cavern.
He too surveyed the damage Daltmooreby had wreaked on the Grand Master's vanguard welcome committee.
"What did you do? Fall on them?" he asked cynically.
Daltmooreby didn't bat an eyelid. he just turned silently and swept into the chamber past Mary.
"Don't bicker!" Mary scalled him. "We're almost there."
Von Trapp accept his rebuke doffed an imaginary cap to The nun and entered the chamber after Sean.
Sreka winched down, holding Vandeveer under his arm.
"De little fellow said he was scared of heights."
Vandeveer looking very sheepish towards Von Trapp, shrugged apologeticvally causing Von Trapp to snort in barely contained disdain.
"Come." Mary said "only a little farther...." beckoning him and Sreka to enter..
Vandeveer scurried in.
"Mary...I..." Sreka started to say.
"Andrei. Don't dawdle. Hurry up!"
"I...yes, Mary," and followed her though the gates with a narrowing of the eyes.
As the four of them crossed the bridge past where the Abbot had finaly disolved into a purple stain on the surface of the moat.
"I wonder how Slepp's getting on?" Vandeveer asked cheerfully as he jogged over the bridge.
Slepp had been meditating quietly in a small room, inside one of the many buildings that seemed to grow organically out of the rock of which the citadel was built. This was of course deceiving, the desert had enclosed the former citadel and buried it, suffocating the streets.
Slepp's eyes shot open as the murky dark grew stedily brighter as the glowing embers of a torch lit someone's way.
"Thirteen... ... Twelve ... ... Eleven ... ..." X came jogging in and paused to catch his breath.
"hmm... ha...this is different.... No more halls."
He raised his torch. The spot where Slepp ahd moments ago been sitting, was empty, the dust that hung in the air betrayed no sign of movement in millenia.
X saw a doorway ahead and walked towards it.
opThe sound echoed around the hall.
X took another step forward...
oppoppoppoppoppoppoppoppoppoppoppop"What's this?" he said as his feet pushed into something soft and elastic.
X lowered his torch.
"Bubble wrap?" he said puzzled.
rurrrrrrshX spun to catch his opponent but he was too late. He gagged as he felt a tightness around his throat.
The Agent tried gripping the garotte with both hands to stop the grip... and his hand felt sticky. He looked at one suspiciously for a split second before throwing himself backwards into the wall.
Slepp grunted at as his spine bounced of the stone but he held firm and tried to strenghten his hold.
"No... chance.." X strained. Bending his knees to send Slepp into the wall a second time. He felt Slepp's hands move to keep hold but X took his chance flipped the assassin over his shoulder who landed with a series of
popsX moved away and grabbed the weapon on his neck, pulling it away.
"Nngh!" He hissed as hairs came away and looked at the cellulose tape scrunched in his hand. After a few flicks of the wrist it eventually fell loose from his fingers and X looked at Slepp now back on his feet.
"Slepp Tonnajob. Courier assassin." introducing himself.
"I guess that explains the sellotape." X said, circling his opponent.
The courier assassin nodding with respect and kicked the bubblewrap from the floor. X did the same. The two circled each other carefully with the packing paper fluttering down behind them.
X moved first. He threw a punch at Slepp who caught it and sliced a delivery tag between X's knuckles. X hissed and staggered back. Again the opponents circled and again X ran to attack, he was sidestepped and sent to floor as something leathery racked across his jaw.
Slepp retreated and smiled. Scowling in annoyance X wiped his lip with the back of his hand. Looking at the ink on his palm he caught the sight of a smudged VOID and laughed to himself.
"Okay," sighed X, pulling himself up and taking position, "I think I see how this works."
Slepp returned the rubber stamp the his belt and smiled.
While Ody and Jamilla discussed excitedly a strange, indistinct doodle on the wall, Arthur lent sternly against a wall in The Hall of Testimony, convalescing testily.
"Listen, old boy", Ody said cheerfully, "if you're finding it tough to go on, we may have found another way..."
"Nonsense!" barked Arthur "and less of this 'old' business"
"Look, Jamilla thinks she's deciphered the map on this wall, and discovered a quicker route to our destination."
"A quicker route?"
I think this," Jamila said pointed to a series of concentric circular lines standing out in relief on one of the walls, "is some sort of worshiping site, like a cathedral of sort, but between us and it there is this....
"That looks like a chasm." Arthur said warily.
"Hmmm. That seems about right." Ody said. "Definately something worth avoiding." Which is why if we take this route," indicating an almost parallel line to the earlier one "we can avoid the chasm all together.
"Your partner however...."
"...is heading in the wrong direction?" Arthur, said, wearing a look of concern.
"Well yes and no."
"Yes and no?"
Yes, see this passage, which your partner took, would take him up to the chasm you already identified." Ody said pointing at the map. "There are bridges but they are sparsely spaced - and unfortunately the map is here is smudged - I can't make out what is on the other side." He turned to face Arthur "This place is dark and the paths perilous, if he isn't payign attention he might not see the chasm or the bridges."
"You mean he'll fall to his death." Arthur said, horrified.
"There is worse news I’m sorry to say."
"Worse? What could possibly be worse?"
If you’re going to go after him you might want to hurry because if he's not careful he'll run smack bang into the pendulums." said Ody.
"Pendulums?" Arthur enquired worried where this was heading.
"Some ancient sort of booby trap I'd expect. Really nasty looking ones too judging by the size of these glyphs."
Arthur was already on his feet.
"I’ll better go get him. You take the other path to the cathedral thing and well meet you there." commanded Arthur, feeling some of the old life creeping back despite his bruised and bandaged back, he set off at a brisk run down the corridor towards where X had disappeared.
"Don’t leave without us!" and left at a moderate jog down through the exit X had taken a short while earlier. He shouted back at the archeologist who was stammering something he couldn't hear.
As Arthur dissapeared into the next Hall of Testimony, Ody became aware of a rhytmic tapping noise. Jamill's foot was tapping in an unimpressed rhym on the stone floor.
"What?" Ody said defensively, guessing what was coming.
"You didn't tell him about the other 7 rooms with the traps in." Jamilla scolded Ody.
"He didn't give me the chance."
"Prepare to die... secret agent!"
X began haughtily "I don't think" - suddenly X was blinded, a flashing red light filled his vision. Unthinkingly he rolled to the side. Well judged, as the floor was suddenly studded razor sharp binder clips.
"Laser pointer. Very clever." X said patting his shoulder and releasing a small plume of dust.
"You can't evade me forever."
"Indeed not." X said, dropping down onto one knee, assuming a sprinting position, arching his bum into the air and taking off down the nearest corridor with Gazelle like nimbleness. "But I can run away as often as I like"
"Grr!!... Come back here!" Slepp Bellowed, blowing some poison tipped biros, after X, which ricocheted off the ancient stonework.
The Courier Assassin threw his coat to the ground and flexing his muscles, gave chase.
In the far distance some things that were very large and heavy went
whumph almost imperceptibly.