The Darkness
Created | Updated Nov 7, 2003
Just another fab four, innocently spreading the joy that is butt rock?
Or something much more sinister, more evil? Something from... The Darkness...
Slaying the demonIt's the late 1980's. For popular music; the dark ages. Rock music is in the death grasp of Heavy Metal Hair bands. Rigor mortis has set in and the world is spasming to find a cure. Then alt-rock groups like REM and U2 bring new life to the industry, and later Nirvana digs out and destroys every last vestige of 80's rock. The world rejoices with this strange new Seattle sound, and for many years times were good.
The Second Coming
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls; those good times that you cherish are no longer safe. Everything you've held audiologically close to your hearts is now being threatened! Even as you read this warning, a great evil lurks over the horizon, biding it's time until it creeps into your being and takes over. And the name of this evil is...
The Darkness.
You may have seen them already prowling the alleys and bars of North London, or wriggling their way into MTV timeslots. The falsetto voices. The big hair. The jumpsuits split to the navel. The rockstar jumps. The instruments that double as weapons of war. (at least in their music video). Ladies and gentlemen, fellow citizens of a world still regretting the 1980's, we cannot allow this darkness to take hold. Today The Darkness, tomorrow we'll all have mullets and wristbands. And we'll all be sneering at each other! We can't let this happen! We can't permit everything that Nirvana fought so hard to save us from re-emerge from it's grave and once again ensnare humanity. WE MUST STAND AGAINST THE DARKNESS!!!
We're Not Gonna Take it Anymore!
It is only by banding (no pun intended) together that we will have the strength to stand up to the strife ahead.
But just like smallpox, if we get enough people aware of the danger, we can eventually stamp out 80's music once and for all!
SO WHO'S WITH US? Stand and be recognized! Put your name on the growing list of those that refuse to become mired in the mistakes of an earlier and less intelligent generation. We will not back down! We will fight! And by the grace of all that is holy and polyester-free, we will PREVAIL!!!
Warriors of the Light, Dedicated to Stomping out The Darkness
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