Evil (and subsequent redeeming features thereof)
Created | Updated Mar 19, 2002
Contrary to popular belief, evil is not without its redeeming features. First of all, there are economic reasons for the encouragement of evil. A large number of industries and organizations exist to combat evil, such as police departments, the FBI, MI6, security firms, and superheroes (without which the highly profitable comic book business would disappear). There are also organizations and industries which are evil in and of themselves, such as organized crime, Microsoft®, Congress, hell, the IRS, Beanie Babies™, disorganized crime, the manufacturers of Spam™...Boy, there's a lot of evil out there. If there were no evil, all of these would disappear,thus triggering an new economic recession. Second, the entire field of literature is driven by evil. Without villains, there would be noone for the hero to fight against, thus causing the book to be obscenely short and mostly filled with images of happy flowers and kittens as opposed to the highly profitable gratuitous bloodshed and sex so popular in novels today, thus causing all major booksellers to disappear and increasing the overall illiteracy rate to astronomical levels in a matter of months. Because of these facts and many others, evil should be subsidized and encouraged for many years to come.
