In Love with a German Film Star
Created | Updated Feb 18, 2004
Phase One: Selling It.
I'm in love with a German Film Star...
She answered with a note as cryptic as my ad:
Ah, The Passions! It's a glamorous world indeed.
Care to share it?
Victim of Love
Obscure but inviting. I liked it, and of all the replies this was the only one to give me that good hot tingle. She obviously knew something about the glamorous world of that German film star.
Not to be outdone in enigma I sent back,
You sound like you've got that look!
Fancy Dass ich dich wiederseh'?
Tell me where. I'll come.
Devil Woman.
She got the point and her next missive really got me twitching to meet her.
The Glass Bar. Next Friday at 7.
If you dare - wear the perfect clothes.
Pose if you like.
Victim of Love
Oh, my! Fortunately for her I had just the thing. I scrawled back one last note.
A red rose. Behind your ear, please.
Devil Woman.
She was bound to know what that meant.
Phase Two: Buying It.
She was there when I arrived. Victim of the awful retro eighties fad. Her fringe flopped over her left eye, her cheekbones were ridiculously highlighted and she wore the widest belt I had ever seen over a long pink fluffy jumper. Still, I thought, there are worse crimes than bad fashion sense, and underneath the fluff she was hot.
I parked myself at the bar, ordered champagne and had the bartender take a glass over to my Victim of Love. I leaned carelessly, presenting myself to her, lit a cigarette and let it sit idly on my lips, just like Marlene would have. The bartender said a few words to her and left. She looked over at me, puzzled, but obviously impressed. She hesitated a smile and I pushed myself up out of my slouch and stubbed my cigarette, all without taking my eyes off her. I swaggered over, giving her the opportunity to cruise me. I was wearing the perfect suit.
I stopped in front of her for a moment, just long enough for her to appreciate how well my tux fitted. Then, with casual flair, I plucked the rose from behind her ear and sniffed it, good and slow, improvising a bit as I went. I made like there was nothing else in the world but me and that rose. I drank it in, closed my eyes, swayed from the hip; I made all the right moves. I finished up, opened my eyes sultry slow, and tucked the rose into my buttonhole. Then, before I could lose my nerve, I leaned over her and kissed her full on the lips.
I smiled, just a bit smug, and waited for her to say something. She looked at me for a long moment. Her eyes were hot and I got warm just thinking how much I must have impressed her. She stood up, looming tall in her high heels, raised her hand and slapped me soundly across the face. Then she walked out.
So much for enigmatic. Next time my ad is going to read Horny Dyke Seeks Same.
Phase Three: Getting It
Dear Horny,
I am entirely interested and definitely in the same boat.
However, as I have had bad experiences with this sort of thing I would like to know more about you.
Carnal but Cautious.
I recognise that handwriting.
Dear Carnal,
I didn't know it was a song. I'm sorry I offended you. And I'm sorry I didn't get the chance to tell you, you looked good enough to eat.
Marie
What did you mean by it?
Susan
Dietrich.
Watch Morocco, It's a good film.
Marie
I'm in love with a German film star.
Let's meet. In private. Wear the tux.
Susan.
