Announcing the IPR, YFITA third Annual Poetry Contest
Created | Updated Dec 23, 2003
Announcing the IPR, YFITA third Annual Poetry Contest
Due to the lack of interest generated by the first two contests, we tried to find a reason to eliminate it this time around.
Then various members of the staff and staff wannabes protested that it was one of the few times outside of a visit to the station loos or the semi-seasonal cleaning out of the suggestion box (which is like an early BASIC program, full of GOTOs) that staff and wannabes could make their voices heard in type.
Suggestions from what remain of the senior management that they could be heard loud and clear with a letter of resignation fell upon deaf ears.
So, here we go again.
Herein be found the rules:
1. The poesy in question must be about:
a. Time
b. calendars
c. the year
d. days
e. months
f. decades
g. millenia
h. epochs
i. geological ages
j. the whole of existence as bound by duration
2. The poesy must be in a reconiazable form of Englich.
3. It must be no longer in length than your average Hootooer's attention span when not reading about sex, politics or David Beckham's underwear choices.
4. It does not have to rhyme or fit into any previously accepted academic niche, but it must be accessible to the judges in a way that will not have them questioning their spectacle prescriptions.
5. Obscenity will not be tolerated unless it is in a form so arcane that the judges mistake it for artistic license. Licentiousness is expressly forbidden, as well as muted sarcasm. All sarcasm must be free and aboveboard, otherwise it will be mistaken for misogyny by the sensitivity review board. They are out to remove all sensitivity from modern literature and have done a fairly good job.
6. While winners and runners-up will be announced at the end of the judging period, no actual hard and fast prizes will be awarded. Some of last year's judges actually requested danger money for completeing the task without running screaming from the county.
7. In the event of any ties or disputes about the results, the problem will by solved by having our Jamaican Comptroller use her life-size replicas of the Urimm and the Thummim, which have never failed her in her pursuit of a good cup of coffee.
