"This is Brainiac, the science show that lobs dangerous chemicals around, and then runs like hell." - Richard Hammond

Brainiac is a British science program run by people who have no business running a science program. The emphasis of this program is to conduct experiments that are just as much fun as they are educational. Okay, so that's a little misleading. In reality, the show is entertainment first, science second (if at all). It is hosted by Richard Hammond (a presenter in Top Gear) and John Tickle (of Big Brother fame, if you'd call it that). It broadcasts in the UK, the US, and some European countries.

Exploding Caravans

A favourite past time of this show is blowing up caravans. One such example of this love comes from the segment Brainiac Snooker. They had Quinten Hann¹ pot the last six balls in an ordinary game of snooker. Except that each of the last six balls would trigger a fuse that led up to a caravan filled with some sort of explosive. The explosive would then shred the caravan apart. This was followed up by Brainiac Golf, where they set up a putting green to do pretty much the same thing.

Another example of this is the experiment to see if a ringing mobile phone in a petrol station could ignite the station. They did the experiment by filling a caravan with petrol vapors and then setting a mobile phone in the caravan and calling it. That didn't work, so they tried it with more mobile phones. That still didn't work. So they came up with another theory, which was if nylon clothes would do it. They then tested that theory by having a brainiac (the name they give to the people who do examine and test experiments) in nylon clothing do a silly dance in a bucket and then touching a wire that led up to the caravan. KABOOM!

The Quest for an Alternative Form of Propulsion

They made several attempts to find the best alternative form of propulsion. They decided to power things with fire extinguishers. As such, the first test was to see what the best type of fire extinguishers for propulsion was. It's an easy guess that it was the carbon dioxide ones. But they had to make sure, they fitted shopping carts with CO₂, water, and foam ones and raced the carts. Surely enough, the CO₂ powered cart won. Later, they tested what type of vehicle would be the best. They fitted a CO₂ extinguishers to a skateboard, a pair of roller skates (they modified the tube so that it would dispense out of the ends of both skates), an office chair (fitted with two), and a wheel chair (fitted with two). The wheel chair won.

During the next series, they decided to see if a specially made vehicle designed to be powered by CO₂ against the wheel chair. The wheel chair yet again proved to be the fastest; however, the other vehicle was easier to control, i.e., it could travel in a straight line.

Human Comparisons

Tall v Small

Tall v Small was a segment that pitted a very short person (around 3ft tall) against a very tall person (over 7ft tall). They put them in several different situations (mostly simulations, but some actual field tests) to see if it is better to be tall or small in that situation. Situations include getting through crowded sidewalks.

Fat v Thin

Fat v Thin was the essentially the same concept except, that's right, it was a very fat person against a very skinny person. Situations include surviving in a heat wave, being in a blizzard², and staying afloat.

Breaking Into Things

The Safe

1. Dropped from a significant height.
2. An assault by the fire brigade.
3. Two stock cars repeatedly ramming into it at high speeds (it should be noted though that the safe weighed nearly as much as the stock cars).
4. Professional safe crackers doing what they do best.

The Yellow Blackbox

1. A barrage by US Civil War era muskets, and then a direct ten-pound ordinance rifle (a rifled cannon used by both sides of the conflict).
2. A napalm charge being detonated right in front of it.
3. A round of shots from some of the best boys down at the London Gentry.
4. Dropped in a barrel full of highly corrosive acids. It should be noted that this had one major problem: they attached a bungee cord to it. The blackbox wasn't in the acid for very long; therefore, the acid couldn't do much to the blackbox before it sprung out of the barrel.
5. An attack by Bigfoot (the monster truck).

Fun With Electricity

Towards the end of the first series they had a couple brainiacs demonstrate several electrical concepts by touching a low-voltage electric fence.

After having some fun with this during the first series, they decided to do some other experiments involving electricity. They got some low-volt electrical equipment and then tried to figure out what you can and cannot do whilst being electrocuted. For the record: you can't do much successfully while being electrocuted.

They decided in the third series to see if people could do their jobs while being electrocuted. Spoiler: they couldn't.

John Tickle: The Man Who Can Walk on Custard

During the first series, John Tickle claimed that he could walk on custard after demonstrating that he could not walk on water. So, they emptied a swimming pool and then filled it with custard. While the brainiacs were busy doing that, he gave the explanation as to why he could do it. He then demonstrated his theory successfully.

Things John Tickle's Body Can't Do

This was probably inspired by the walking on custard experiment. It demonstrates things that most⁴ people can't do with the body.

Alkali Metals + Water = Fun

This was an experiment to show you what highly reactive elements (group 1 aka alkali metals) can really do. They first put a small amount of Rubidium (third most reactive alkali metal) in a bathtub full of water and ran into a caravan (surprisingly, it wasn't exploded previously or during that episode) before the container it was in dissolved. The results were the equivalent of dropping a grenade into the bathtub. The next one was a simmilar experiment, but instead of Rubidium, they used an even smaller amount of Caesium (the most reactive non-radioactive element) and jumped into a trench seconds before detonation. This was the equivalent of putting a depth charge into the bathtub.

Dear John

A write in segment where people ask John Tickle to perform certain experiments. Experiments included: "How much can weight can you lose in two hours?" and "Can you purify your urine to a drinkable level at home?"

I Can Do Science Me!

Another write in segment, this one is where viewers write in with ideas of experiments they'd like to see. This differs from Dear John in that the brainiac team hunts down the viewer that writes in with an accepted experiment and then gets the viewer to conduct the experiment. The viewer gets a trophy that says "I Can Do Science Me!"

Explosive of the Week

Segment where the brainiac babes blow things up with different explosives and are then given a rating out of ten by the three judges. This is very appealing to the target audience as it involves things blowing up and scantly clad women.

Thermite

By viewer request they started working with thermite in the third series. Thermite is a material that burns at temperatures of 2,500 degrees centigrade, and has been around for some time.⁵

Tina Turner and Her Bunsen Burner

Okay, so it really isn't Tina Turner, but that's not very important. This is a segment where they get a Tina Turner impersonator to blow cars up. The source of the flame that leads to the bang is a bunsen burner. The flame is delivered to the car in different ways. The explosive is often TNT because supposedly that's Tina's initials.

Transitional Segments

Things You Shouldn't Put in the Microwave

" Stop. The following experiment is dangerous. For your safety and the safety of those around you, do not try this at home. No really, don't." - Richard Hammond

This is a segment where they put things into a microwave that shouldn't and start it. Items include CDs, metal things, and a gunpowder charge with a small metal wire in it.

Which Fruit Floats?

Pretty much self explanatory. They test to see which fruit floats. More or less just a way of putting Rachel Grant (under the moniker of Professor Myang Lee) in a bikini and letting that be part of the show.

You Can't Stop Rock 'n' Roll (actually you can)

They take a tape of Twisted Sister's "You Can't Stop Rock 'n' Roll" and then begs to differ with the aid of such things as caravans, flamethrowers, and hammerthrows.

Peter Logan's Exploding Paste

This is a prank segment where a Brainiac puts a paste on various objects. The paste is unreactive when wet, but is highly unstable when dry. It only makes a pop, but it's still fun to watch.

What is it?

This one is generally started before a break and is finished after the break. It shows you a common object magnified to a high degree. They give you clues then gives you the commercial break to guess what it is.

Office Buoyancy Aids

A segment that tests to see what common office objects makes the best buoyancy aid if a sudden flood results from global warming. Here's some tips that can be taken from this segment: don't grab anything that is mostly paper, and try to capture air.

101 Uses for a Wee

Does this really need to be explained? Some uses includes a shark decoy ⁶ and a way to cure athletes foot.

Tickle's Teasers

This is a transitional segment that asks brain teasers. Most of them are meant to have no specific answer; however, viewers have noted that some have specific answers.

Pub Science with Doctor Bunhead

One of the segments hosted by "Doctor Bunhead". This is one where Dr. Bunhead performs several science related tricks at a pub. This segment always ends with him getting thrown out of the pub.

Disclaimer

The creators of the show have admitted that they had faked the results of some of the experiments. The cesium experiment? As stated by a crew member as to what happened: “Absolutely bloody nothing. The density of caesium ensured it hit the bottom of the bath like a lead weight. The volume of water then drowned out the thermal shock. They could not go home empty-handed. So they rigged a bomb in the bottom of the bath." It should again be emphasized that the focus is on entertainment first and science second (if at all).

Conclusion

This is just a taste of what Brainiac: Science Abuse has to offer. This Entry mostly describes regular segments, and only covers the first couple series. They are still making new ones, but this gives a good example of the types of things that they do. To summarize: Brainiac: one small anomaly in the science community; one giant piece of an exploded caravan.