Living in Impossibility
Created | Updated Mar 23, 2002
I know that some of you get confused when trying to live in impossibility. Having witnessed many lives fall apart because the people living them incidently lack the knowledge required to survive in them, I have decided that for the sake of humanity and all of the other races on Earth, I should compile a short list of rules to keep people, well, alive. With that in mind, please take into consideration as you read this that these rules are to be lived by with the same strictness that one uses to clean out the basement of their neighboor's house...
*RULE # 1: USE IMPOSSIBILITY ONLY AS A LAST RESORT.
Always first try to find a realistic solution to the problem or situation. If your ship is spinning wildly out of control, try using the control panel. Sometiems this actually works; often it doesn't. After the realistic solutions have been proven futile, turn to improbable solutions, such as channeling your dead geat-grnadfather, or taking your chances holding your breath in space. If these things still fail, try the impossible. Use a broken Emergencey Teleport System to transport either back to where you were before, or to some place you've never been but where you will invariably; things like that. Going through these steps keeps the level of intensity and excitement high. Plus, it makes for fascinating dinner conversation.
*RULE # 2: BE CREATIVE.
Always relying on old and used methods of impossibility will quickly become tiresome and frustrating. Keep the spice in impossibility by varying your methods. Sometimes the most obvious impossible actions are the least expected, other times it is the most. Learn to differentiate between the two. For example, if you've already crashed into the surface of the sun right when a rift in the fabric of space-time occurs which incidently sweeps you away into the middle of a transport ship for Betelguese lawn chairs, don't do it again.
*RULE # 3: HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR.
Always, always, remember that being able to laugh is the most important ability when living in impossibility. When a situation is consistently impossible and becomes boring, or is consistently creatively impossible and becomes tiring (two almost, but not quite, entirely different things), others may lose interest and dismiss impossibility as dull and rather over-done. But with the right combination of reality, improbability and impossibility, flung together in a creative (but not too creative) metaphorical salad, mixed with the right amount of the metaphorical salad dressing of laughter to cover the often draining suspension of disbelief, will keep the Universe on its toes and living in impossibility its appeal...
*RULE # 1: USE IMPOSSIBILITY ONLY AS A LAST RESORT.
Always first try to find a realistic solution to the problem or situation. If your ship is spinning wildly out of control, try using the control panel. Sometiems this actually works; often it doesn't. After the realistic solutions have been proven futile, turn to improbable solutions, such as channeling your dead geat-grnadfather, or taking your chances holding your breath in space. If these things still fail, try the impossible. Use a broken Emergencey Teleport System to transport either back to where you were before, or to some place you've never been but where you will invariably; things like that. Going through these steps keeps the level of intensity and excitement high. Plus, it makes for fascinating dinner conversation.
*RULE # 2: BE CREATIVE.
Always relying on old and used methods of impossibility will quickly become tiresome and frustrating. Keep the spice in impossibility by varying your methods. Sometimes the most obvious impossible actions are the least expected, other times it is the most. Learn to differentiate between the two. For example, if you've already crashed into the surface of the sun right when a rift in the fabric of space-time occurs which incidently sweeps you away into the middle of a transport ship for Betelguese lawn chairs, don't do it again.
*RULE # 3: HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR.
Always, always, remember that being able to laugh is the most important ability when living in impossibility. When a situation is consistently impossible and becomes boring, or is consistently creatively impossible and becomes tiring (two almost, but not quite, entirely different things), others may lose interest and dismiss impossibility as dull and rather over-done. But with the right combination of reality, improbability and impossibility, flung together in a creative (but not too creative) metaphorical salad, mixed with the right amount of the metaphorical salad dressing of laughter to cover the often draining suspension of disbelief, will keep the Universe on its toes and living in impossibility its appeal...
