h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

very well put
monsy

Thanks Monsy!

I've been waiting for someone to say something about this for a while. I think the fact that someone has in fact said something before it's edited can only bode well!

Regards,

H.

i have my fingers and toes crossed for you i think it would make a great addition to their library
monsy

I meant to say something about this weeks ago, but I never got around to it (see my entry on "procrastination"!).

This is a good article, though a bit 'preachy' in places. I think that the second para sums up the human condition perfectly. Or mine, anyway! I especially like, however, your introduction to it on your user page: "By nature I am a man, hence my entry on sexual frustration." Priceless!

Hey again bubster!

What do you mean by "preachy", exactly? I am a little confused! If you're implying that the article's a bit long, I suspect you're right, but I'm relying on a good editor to make it shorter! Any other implication I can't see...

I am glad you liked at least some of it, though!

Don't get me wrong - I like the whole article! Probably 'preachy' was the wrong word, but the subtext - religious approaches to sexual expression - made the choice of the word irresistible.

All I meant was you've found three different ways to make the same point: there are religions out there - especially the mainstream ones - that frown upon what many would consider perfectly healthy sexual expression and this engenders sexual frustration. Your point is valid and well expressed, but doesn't need to be reiterated - so I guess in the end I agree with you: prudent editing is all that is required.

If the third and fourth paras were edited down into one really killer paragraph then the world would be your oyster. Or something.

Now I understand! I had a feeling that that was a large part of what you meant, but I couldn't be sure!

I take your point about the third and fourth paragraphs. I'm not sure how to condense them without sacrficing some of what they actually say - for mine the simplest way would be to jam them together, but that doesn't really solve the "reiteration" problem. I think the main reason why they were seperated when I wrote the article was to distinguish the "religion" paragraph from the "virginity" paragraph, but the "religion" subtext must have taken over. I need a way to make the "virginity" paragraph distinct without re-expressing the "religion" ideas.

Any ideas?

How about this: Don't talk about religion at all in the virginity paragraph - except maybe in passing. The thing about virginity (esp. in adolescents) is that you're hanging around, just trying to cope with all this growing up and you suddenly discover all this competing social pressure (a) from institutions like the family, religion and prime-time sitcoms to hang onto it, and (b) from just about everyone else - peer groups, pop groups and advertising agencies - to get rid of it.

And why not - again - get away from the religious slant in the final para: You could just start off with "Sexual frustration has confused and disturbed..." etc.

Hope some of this is useful - and feel totally free to ignore every word: it's really hard to suggest stuff without starting to feel that I'm rewriting in directions you wouldn't have chosen, but that's my two cents worth!

Interesting article..and good points. I think the fact comes thru loud and clear that it was written by a male. Why if you were having a perfectly enjoyable sexual relation, would you assume that you are missing something..that might be better elsewhere? Your greatest sex organ is your mind. What you do with it is your choice. By wondering and worrying that you are missing something elsewhere, prevents you from fully enjoying and appreciating what you have. It's a sad fact of life..that even those who don't follow the major religions have allowed the imposed society morals to cloud their thinking about sex. I thank my lucky stars that I was encouraged as a child to think for myself. My non-religious parents still hold the puritanical outlook of sex that they were raised with. I started out that way in my teens, but upon discovering how wonderful it was..tossed all preconceived ideas and set about making my own judgements. Too many people, particularly women have been unable to free themselves from the ideas imposed upon them in their youth. It stunts their growth as a sexual human being. Freedom comes when you can think for yourself..decide what you like and want, are able to communicate freely with your partner...without fear of a negative reaction. The net is such a wonderful place. You can learn here to communicate..express you deepest innermost thoughts and feelings..find people who are willing to accept you as you are..and those that would criticize...well they don't know who or where you are..and you can just ignore them.Once you have learned how open you can truly be...try translating it into your real life...speak as openly to your partner..try and draw them out..don't laugh or criticize them..for sharing something so intensly personal. Frustration comes from not being able to talk about..that which you truly desire..or think that you do. Sex is not just a mechanical action.. it's interaction between two people..a simple physical act..while momentarily satisfying...will not stand the true test. Do you honestly think men who have sex with a hooker (or women for that matter) enjoy it in the same sense that they would doing the same thing with their partner. I think not...unless they are so weighed down with the idea that a "decent" woman would not enjoy such activity, in which case they are stunting themselves..feeling bad or immoral for enjoying "nature's gift".

Sex is naughty, and you should all feel ashamed.

Oops, sorry! Wrong century! *beep, zooooooom*

Hi Sass!

Nice to see a new face around these fora! I tried to reply to this yesterday, but was rudely cut off by "the system", so the reply never made it into the 'Guide. I appreciate your comments, which are interesting and relevant, but there are some things to be said in response. I will try and remember everything I had to say.

I think you're right that it's obvious that this article was written by a male. This does not mean that women do not think like this, however - only that they don't think of such things in the same way. "Perfectly enjoyable sexual relations" are pretty few and far between, and I have never heard of a woman who wouldn't pull up pegs for the certain prospect of something better!

I sympathise with your views about the 'net - it is a wonderful place, and on this network, anyway, largely full of wonderful people. The freedom you have in a place like this is not really translatable to anywhere else - there are simply too many restrictions in other places. If you can talk so openly to your partner, then you've a very very stable and profound relationship!

Frustration, though, doesn't really lie in not being able to talk about what you want to do: it lies in not being able to do it. Thus for a lot of men, the "simple physical act" of sex is not really enough to satisfy. It has nothing to do with morality - as the last couple of decades and the so-called "sexual revolution" have demonstrated - it's more to do with how you feel about it. The lack of morality involved doesn't make the whole experience less frustrating, either. Women - who are using male prostitutes in ever greater numbers - are finding this out, too.

Everyone's frustrated. Everyone wants something that they can't necessarily have. This article tries to reflect that. The subject medium it uses to do it is sex - which, as the article implies - is an almost universal human obsession!

Nice to see you too, Beeline, although you're apparently somewhat more frustrated than the rest of us!

Oh yeah? Oh yeah? Who wants a fight then? Come on! I'll show you all!

Hey bubster!

I checked the "Procrastination" "article" out yesterday, and was inspired to add a few comments - see the forum under the article: "The art of..."

> I tried to reply to this yesterday, but was rudely cut off by "the system", so the reply never made it into
the 'Guide. <

I had trouble getting in too..

>I think you're right that it's obvious that this article was written by a male. This does not mean that
women do not think like this, however - only that
they don't think of such things in the same way.
"Perfectly enjoyable sexual relations" are pretty
few and far between, and I have never heard of a
woman who wouldn't pull up pegs for the certain
prospect of something better! <

That is awfully cynical..don't know what type of women you know..but while there are many like that..there are still a great deal..who "love the one they are with". What makes a "better prospect" in your definition..more money? .. then you are way off base..because so many women stay with guys who are poor..or even support the guys..because they are in love with them. That's almost like saying all guys would dump their current girlfriend/wife for someone better looking. Granted there are guys who would..but you can't make such a blanket statement.

>I sympathise with your views about the 'net - it is
a wonderful place, and on this network, anyway,
largely full of wonderful people. The freedom you
have in a place like this is not really translatable
to anywhere else - there are simply too many
restrictions in other places.<

Not totally transferable.. but I've found since I started chatting here..that I speak up more in situations.. was at a work-related seminar recently..during one of the breaks.. someone started making snide remarks about gay people.. I spoke up.. said what was on my mind... made all the ones that were laughing.. sit back and think... then a fairly open conversation followed.. surprised that everyone could calmly and rationally talk about it.. (talking about people in their 40's and 50's). I've also found that I talk more openly with women friends.. still can't chat with male friends the way I do with guys on the net..but getting there... a big part of it is your comfort level.. if you don't feel embarassed..talking about it..tends to put others at ease.. make it easier for both.

> If you can talk so openly to your partner, then you've a very very stable and profound relationship! <

I can't believe that is true. I am sure there are many many others who can talk so openly. It is difficult when you first meet a person..start a relationship.. because of the fear..worry about what they will think..but once you get comfortable... feel you can trust one another... why hold back. You are cheating each other.. If you can't learn to TRUST.. then you are missing so much... it's not something you find with everyone.. perhaps only once, twice maybe 3 times in your life... but it's there.. it's possible. If people can make the commitment to marry.. why would they hold back an integral part of themselves... love is unselfish it's about caring very deeply for the other person.. giving of yourself...

>Frustration, though, doesn't really lie in not being
able to talk about what you want to do: it lies in
not being able to do it. Thus for a lot of men, the
"simple physical act" of sex is not really enough
to satisfy.<

Not sure I get your point here. Are you saying that men need more than straight missionary sex? Well women do too !!! It's largely how you broach the subject.. people grow.. change... I married at 17.. and was appalled at the idea of oral sex... growing up.. when I did.. it was totally outside of anything I had ever been exposed to... but as I matured.. learned about sex, love..my opinions changed... I realized rather than being horrible as I had originally thought.. it was actually a very erotic enjoyable experience.. one which I have no intention of doing without.. in fact..I probably grew too much... part of what killed my marriage.. was the things I wanted to do.. to try.. but he was too prudish for.. one would hope that before the marriage... a couple could be open enough to discuss the types of things..they NEED.. although sex is not the most important aspect of a marriage/relationship... it's right up there... and if two people are incompatible in bed.. they are almost doomed to fail ... not saying that either party has to fully participate in the others fantasy.. but there are ways.. to enhance each others pleasure.. when you know what turns their mind on...

>It has nothing to do with morality - as
the last couple of decades and the so-called
"sexual revolution" have demonstrated - it's more
to do with how you feel about it. The lack of
morality involved doesn't make the whole
experience less frustrating, either. Women - who
are using male prostitutes in ever greater
numbers - are finding this out, too. <

Morality is a mind set... it means different things to different people. While I have the freedom here to talk about the things I enjoy.. and have met many like minded people.. it's just not possible in real life. The people in my life.. friends..co-workders.. see me as a moral person... but.. heaven forbid they should know what goes on in my mind.. or in my private sex life.. I would likely be branded as immoral...a degenerate.. whatever... I don't feel in the least bit immoral for who and what I am.. I treat other people fairly... never intentionally hurt anyone.. respect others views.. don't try to impose my values on anyone else.. why should I feel bad about who I am.. Why should most people?

>Everyone's frustrated. Everyone wants
something that they can't necessarily have. This
article tries to reflect that. The subject medium it
uses to do it is sex - which, as the article implies
- is an almost universal human obsession! <

beg to differ... Not everyone is frustrated. My favourite saying... is "A man's richness is the fewness of his wants". It is so true... people WANT, WANT and WANT some more.. and are still not happy. If they would stop.. and think about what they do have.. appreciate their good fortune... enjoy more simple pleasures.. the world would be a much better place. People just have to look around.. look at themselves.. for starters.. most people can walk.. take that away.. see how their perspective of what makes them happy change.. I've been on crutches a time or two.. believe me I am grateful for the ability to walk.. I would say almost all the people posting at this site.. are well off... not necessarily in their own eyes.. because most want more material things.. but compared to most of the people in the world... and they are safe... not like the poor souls of East Timor.. or any of the other recent was zones.. the list can go on and on...


and yes sex is a human obsession..but what is wrong with that... it's nature's gift... one that humans can appreciate all year long... unlike many animals.. who only do so during periods of "heat" and as humans we have the creativity.. to take it further... continually discover small variations.. things to make it more..enjoyable.. for both parties... If religions had not tried to impose control on people.. by making them feel guilty about very natural impulses... we likely wouldn't have so many frustrated individuals walking around... even the Bible is full of sexual references..
just take a look at...
http://members.aol.com/lstsoul6/NXRated.html

if a person is frustrated...with their life.. with sex..or whatever... they need to stop and think about it.. decide what it is they really want... then try and make the changes that will allow them to get what they want... but they need to be sure..that it's really what they want.. and not a fantasy... that once obtained becomes less desirable.. for many the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.. so once they get whatever.. they become frustrated about something else... sometimes it is pure curiosity... wondering about the unknown, and then they discover once they achieve whatever..it wasn't as wonderful as they expected...

Hey again bubster!

I made a few changes according to your suggestions - better or worse?

Definitely better. More balanced and more focused on the topic. I like it. Well done.