h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I lived on an Italian sheep-farm. Well, we also had 2000 olive trees, ten ducks, one cow, seven hens, twelve cats, three dogs and a sunflower field, but it was mostly a sheep farm.

I hate sheep too.

Have you ever spent the night under a bramble hedge in the pouring rain slowly and carefully unpicking a sheep from said brambles while she struggles madly as she is giving birth at the time and the lamb is going to arrive nose-first into a world of pain if you don't get the ewe unpicked and dragged clear in time? Then you know true ovine loathing. Quite apart from why oh why is a sheep so very very DUMB as to think brambles a clever place to go and hide on feeling the first pangs? Especially when we had a lambing shed and any number of nice sheltered and above all bramble-free clearings and copses about the place?

The lamb was fine, the ewe had badly scratched legs and I was a lacerated mess up to my elbows in elastoplast for the next week.

****ing sheep.