h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I put a semi-colon in the fourth sentence, but it might work better with a full stop or even with a comma as you had it originally. What do you think?

I understand the reason for using lots of clauses and phrases separated by commas, how it conveys a tripping, rushing feeling. But in a few places it looked like run-on sentences in need of full stops or some other punctuation.

The only other changes were in the fifth paragraph and the last paragraph. I put in a couple of full stops in the fifth paragraph (look for the red letters) because they looked like separate sentences. In the last paragraph, I changed it to "pack its bags" instead of "back its bags." I'm in the US, so shout at me if I'm misunderstanding some UK slang, but it looked like a typo to me.

Let me know what you think.

Later,
Deidzoeb

You're right, that was a mistake with the 'pack', so thanks.

I liked it better with a comma, where you've put a semi colon. The rushing is important there.

The other punctuation changes are ok expect one.
This home where I belong, it's where I come when I'm happy. It's what makes me happy. There shouldn't be a full stop between the two happy comments, it's one sentence, I'm correcting myself. But you can put one after belong instead if you feel it needs one in there somewhere.

Okay, I'll take out the semi-colon and put back the other comma you mentioned. The feeling of the piece is probably more important than the grammar.

Thanks,
Deidzoeb