h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I never thought I'd hear Ring Wa'ra, /second/ fastest Swoop racer in the Outer Rim territories say that. Besides, I've learnt a few tricks and seen a few things since I got pressganged...

*puts feet on the table /showing metal leg/ and pulls the glass of firewhisky to him with the force*

Reckon I'd be able to survive one last Swoop?

*laughs*

Reckon I could win one last swoop?

RING: HaH! Who gave you that, Tayswi?

You couldn't get your foot over the seat!

RAKNO: Couldn't afford a skin graft, huh?

*flicks the last of the whisky over Ring*

That's for your cheek!

*takes a long drag*

Now I did that, had to take my own leg off to stop some Rodian scummer dragging me to my death. Took his arms off with it.

*smiles*

Met up with him a month back, took off one of his bionics.... Heh. The life of a Jedi Knight.

*Ring spits some of the whisky back*

RING: I'm sure that Jedi Temple is sooo uncomfortable, Tayswi!

*grins*

Not like I spend much time there, travelled the length of this galaxy guys, whole damn disc.

*takes another drag*

Although the temple ain't without it's home comforts. *winks* Got us a Nubian senator's daughter and this Felis who's allright. Not that I'd suggest you guys get one of them to warm your hammock, those kittens have claws....

*laughs*

Now if I remember the events that led to this *points to scar on head from a bar-room brawl* it's be SW's round, am I right?

SW-888: ++Only when I am able to drink Annat!++

*rolls eyes*

There you go again!

*tosses him a few coins*

Now get 'em in boltbox!

*SW-888 stomps off*

*leans in closer to Ring*

So what's going on with the Swoops then? I mean there was always the odd desert pizza here and there, but never loads of kills. What's changed?

RING: New rules, higher prize money, new racers.

Allowed to a lot more aggressive these days. As such you can simply wipe out the others so you're the only one left to pass the line.

*nods*

Take it the Hutts are still the big profit makers though?

RING: Yep. Percentage of winnings.

Coupla guys walkin' away with big money.

*nods*

Anyone we know? Bet the Devronians'll be in on it by now, we'll be bigger than Podracing soon.

*looks round to the bar*

C'mon SW, I'm parched!

SW-888: ++Yeah, yeah, keep your leg on...++

*comes to seat with drinks*

*Toydarian flutters around and grabs drink*

TOYDARIAN: No one I know, huh?

*picks up a drink*

Wierd, thought you still had some contacts in the bigtime...
So where are these new guys from?

RING: One guy's a wookiee who bets on himself.

Couple of Rodians are who back him aswell.

Another Toydarian uses slaves to race for their freedom when she's no longer got a use for them. Not worth enough, know what I'm sayin'?

You should try Tayswi, always pictured you as a pancake!

Then again, you'd be busy playing by the Regular Rule than by Swoop Rage!

Rodian..... Swoop Rage....

*stares at Ring*

Don't tell me, the Rodian has a single bionic arm and he backs a humanoid with black skin who fights like a cross between a Jedi and one of those Tuskens after we'd robbed them?

*swigs the rest of his drink*