I will do as I see Fit until such time as I am either rendered redundant or I am Removed from my position by higher authority or I Choose to quit trying to reason with you lot and go off to finish my book on the odd choices in undergarments made by Sir Christopher Wren.


In view of that, all Future memos sent Round by This Office will be signed by those who have a Pen handy at the time of receipt and said memos will be Delivered Back to This Office.

These memos will be Unadorned by any additional Comment, otherwise they will be Round-filed.

All additional or supplemental Comment will be submitted in Typing, on 3 by 5 index Cards, on the Second Tuesday of every Third month during the School Term.

Said index cards will be Filed according to Subject and each Subject will Be Addressed in further memos as I see Fit.



All office visits by Staff, Students and Those who gave birth or helped conceive the Students in Question and the respective grandparents and other Interested parties, including the local Council for Balance in Education, will be Suspended until further Notice.



Anyone, other than my Florist, attempting to reach me will be referred to the local Constabulary as I have taken steps to have a Distance Warrant sworn out on each and every One of you that I could think of.
Anyone thoughtlessly Left out should send a 3 by 5 index card detailing your name, address, and relationship to the School Ombudsman and you will subsequently be Added to the List.



And will the congenital idiot who keeps sending me boxes of Stale assorted chocolates with Creationism and Intelligent Design pamphlets insinuated between the waxed papers please visit a more reputable sweet shoppe and learn to spell?


Signed,

Respectfully Yours,

Mrs. Iola Lingerminster,

Headmistress,

The St. Michael's Children's Academy

and Small Water Craft Navigation Institute