h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Sir, I present my compliments. *Bows low causing his periwig to wiggle precariously and his glasses to almost fall off his nose* I remember your fair town, though methinks it is much changed since my day. What are these nightclubs you speak of?

You are most welcome, sir. If ever you are passing this way again, do drop in. I'm sure the townsfolk would be overjoyed to welcome back such an esteemed visitor as yourself.

Nightclubs are entertainment for the young folk. I'm sure a gentleman of your, shall we say, advanced years, would not find them of much interest.

Sir you are probably right, but in the winter of my years I find my thoughts turn lightly to thoughts of love and the many pleasures it has bought me.