Quotation Collection
Created | Updated Sep 13, 2004
To the man with an ear for verbal delicacies — the man who searches painfully for the perfect word, and puts the way of saying a thing above the thing said — there is in writing the constant joy of sudden discovery, of happy accident. (Henry Louis Mencken, A Book Of Prefaces, 1917)
Of all those arts in which the wise excell, Nature's chief masterpiece is writing well. (John Sheffield, Essay On Poetry, 1682)
Achilles exists only through Homer. Take away the art of writing from this world and you will take away its glory. (Francois René de Chateaubriand, Les Natchez, 1826)
"We're here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different!"- Kurt Vonnegut, 1997
"What you are is what you have been, and what you will be is what you do now."- The Buddha
"The future depends on what we do in the present." - Mahatma Gandhi
"Life is a constant challenge to know oneself.".- Sri Rajneesh, AKA Osho
"Change your thoughts and you change your world." - Norman Vincent Peale
"Change is not merely necessary to life. It is life." - Alvin Toffler
"Everybody thinks of changing humanity and nobody thinks of changing himself." - Leo Tolstoy
"Not everything you face in life can be changed, but you can change nothing until you have faced it." - author unknown
"We are tomorrow's past." - Mary Webb
"In wisdom we acknowledge that everything changes. What is born will die. What dies nourishes life in its many forms.".- Patricia Lynn Reilly
"When you check your own mind properly, you stop blaming others for your problems.".- Lama Thubten Yeshe
"Some children are wiser than adults.".- Lama Thubten Yeshe
"Great is the man who does not lose his child mind." - Meng-Tse
"Cleverness is not wisdom." - Euripides
"Do not cling to anything, to any idea; because clinging is the bondage, even to the idea of enlightenment." - Osho
"A closed mind is like a closed book; just a block of wood." - Chinese Proverb
"Only when the cold sets in do you notice the pines and cypresses turning green.".- Chinese Saying
"I am color." - Paul Klee
"Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious." - Peter Ustinov
"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it - even if I have said it - unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." - The Buddha
"A human being is a part of the whole, called by us Universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest-a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole nature in its beauty." - Albert Einstein
"Until he extends his circle of compassion to all living things, man will not himself find peace." - Albert Schweitzer
"To grow old is to pass from passion to compassion." - Albert Camus
"There is nothing worse than a sharp image of a fuzzy concept." - Ansel Adams
"You never conquer a mountain. You stand on the summit a few moments; then the wind blows your footprints away." - Arlene Blum
"The mind is an iceberg - it floats with only one-seventh of its bulk above water."- Sigmund Freud
"A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who refuses to walk forward.".- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"All things considered, wisdom requires not only the investigation of many things, but contemplation of the mystery." - Jeremy Narby
"Today is yesterday's pupil."- Benjamin Franklin
"People only see what they are prepared to see." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
"The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend."- Henri Bergson
"One should count each day a separate life.".- Seneca
"We need to learn to set our course by the stars, not by the lights of every passing ship." - Omar N. Bradley
"The best way to predict your future is to create it." - Peter Drucker
"Most people die before they are fully born. Creativeness means to be born before one dies.".- Erich Fromm
"Cultivation to the mind is as necessary as food to the body." - Cicero
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever," -- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti smoking ! campaign.
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," -- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country," -- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." -- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it," -- A congressional candidate in Texas.
"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves." -- John Wayne
"Half this game is ninety percent mental." -- Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." -- Al Gore, Vice President
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." -- Dan Quayle
" It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another" -- George Bush, US President
"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?" -- Lee Iacocca
"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version." -- Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.
"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." -- ! Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people." --Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." -- Bill Clinton, President
"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur.." -- Al Gore, VP
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." -- Keppel Enderbery
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you.. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." -- Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." -- Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
Ability
"Natural abilities are like natural plants, that need pruning by study."
- Francis Bacon (1561-1620)
Essays: Of Studies
"Skill to do comes of doing."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
Society and Solitude
"A man who qualifies himself well for his calling, never fails of employment."
- Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)
"They are able because they think they are able."
- Vergil (70-19 B.C.)
Aeneid
Absence
"Greater things are believed of those who are absent."
- Publius Cornelius Tacitus
"The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously."
- Henry Kissinger (1923-) US government official
"Absence -- that common cure of love."
- Miguel De Cervantes
"I was courtmartialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence."
- Brendan Behan (1923-1964) Irish dramatist, author "The Hostage," act 1, 1958.
Ambrose Bierce, writer of famous "The Devil's Dictionary"
"AGE, n.That period of life in which we compound for the vices that we still cherish by reviling those that we have no longer the enterprise to commit." - Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)
"EDUCATION, n. That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding." - Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)
"CIRCUS, n. A place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool." - Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)
"ANOINT, v.t. To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery." - Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)
"CONVENT, n. A place of retirement for woman who wish for leisure to meditate upon the vice of idleness." - Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)
Adventure
"We love because it's the only true adventure."
- Nikki Giovanni
"Marriage is an adventure, like going to war."
- G. K. Chesterton
"Adventure is the champagne of life."
- Unknown
"Life is a fatal adventure. It can only have one end.
So why not make it as far-ranging and free as possible?"
- Alexander Eliot
NY Post 28 Nov 62
America
"Let the word go forth from this time and place,
to friend and foe alike, that the torch has been
passed to a new generation of Americans ^V born in
this century, tempered by war, disciplined by a
hard and bitter peace."
- John Fitzgerald Kennedy
"You, the Spirit of the Settlement! ... Not
understand that America is God's crucible, the
great melting-pot where all the races of Europe are
melting and re-forming! Here, you stand, good folk,
think I, when I see them at Ellis Island, here you
stand in your fifty groups, with your fifty languages
and histories, and your fifty blood hatreds and rivalries..."
- Israel Zangwill
"The Melting Pot"
"It is the love of country that has lighted and
that keeps glowing the holy fire of patriotism."
- J. Horace McFarland
"Abandon your animosities and make your sons Americans!"
- Robert E. Lee (1807-1870)
"The entire essence of America is the hope to
first make money -- then make money with money -- then
make lots of money with lots of money."
- Paul Erdman
"Then join hand in hand, brave Americans all!
By uniting we stand, by dividing we fall."
- John Dickinson
"The Liberty Song"
"Perhaps this is our strange and haunting paradox here
in America -- that we are fixed and certain only when
we are in movement."
- Thomas Wolfe
"You Can't Go Home Again"
"For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for
bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend
an enormous amount of time standing around in line in
front of windows, just waiting."
- Robert Benchley
"Benchley -- or Else!"
"I love America more than any other country in this world,
and, exactly for this reason, I insist on the right to
criticize her perpetually."
- James Baldwin
"Notes of a Native Son"
"In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power,
then you get the women!"
- Homer Simpson
"These Colors Don't Run!"
- Bumper Sticker
"There is nothing wrong with America that cannot be cured
with what is right in America."
- William J. Clinton
"Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country
are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the
other lousy two percent that get all the publicity.
But then, we elected them."
- Lily Tomlin
Anger
"If you are patient in one moment of anger,
you will escape a hundred days of sorrow."
- Chinese Proverb
"How much more grievous are the consequences
of anger than the causes of it."
- Marcus Aurelius
"He who angers you conquers you."
- Elizabeth Kenny
"The world needs anger. The world often continues to
allow evil because it isn't angry enough."
- Bede Jarrett
The House of Gold
Douglas Adams
"Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun "
Douglas Adams
Apartments
"Should not every apartment in which man dwells be
lofty enough to create some obscurity overhead, where
flickering shadows may play at evening about the rafters?"
- Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)
US essayist, poet, naturalist
"Walden," "House-Warming," 1854.
"To me the outdoors is what you must pass through
in order to get from your apartment into a taxicab."
- Fran Lebowitz (1950-)
US journalist
"My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost.
It's in the apartment somewhere."
- Steven Wright
"You know you have a small apartment when Rice Krispies echo."
- S. Rickly Christian
Arrogance
"I hope you will be yourself, human, even a little
sentimental, possessed of a sense of humor and a sense
of humility. . . . There are arrogant people in this
world and, what is worse, arrogant judges."
- Harry A. Blackmun (1908-)
US supreme court justice
"To disregard what the world thinks of us is not
only arrogant but utterly shameless."
- Marcus Tullius Cicero (106BC-3BC)
Roman statesman, scholar, orator
"The political lesson of Watergate is this: Never
again must America allow an arrogant, elite guard of
political adolescents to by-pass the regular party
organization and dictate the terms of a national election."
- Gerald R. Ford (1913-)
38th US President, Republican
"Nobody can be so amusingly arrogant as a young man who
has just discovered an old idea and thinks it is his own."
- Sydney J. Harris (1917-1986)
US journalist, author
Aspiration
"Commerce is of trivial import; love, faith, truth of character, the aspiration of man, these are sacred."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) US philosopher, poet, essayist
"Humor [is] something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth."
- Victor Borge (1909-) US pianist, comedian "Times" (London), 3 Jan 1984.
"The hallmark of our age is the tension between aspirations and sluggish institutions."
- John W. Gardner (1912-) US writer, government official "The Peter Pyramid," by Laurence J. Peter
"Fathers and mothers have lost the idea that the highest aspiration they might have for their children is for them to be wise. . . specialized competence and success are all that they can imagine."
- Allan Bloom (1930-1992) US educator, actor "The Closing of the American Mind," pt. 1, "The Clean Slate," 1987.
Athlete
"The power of one is above all things The power
to believe in yourself Often well beyond any latent
ability previously demonstrated. The mind is the athlete,
The body is simply the means it uses."
- Bryce Courtenay
'The Power Of One'
"I learned that the only way you are going to get
anywhere in life is to work hard at it. Whether you're
a musician, a writer, an athlete or a businessman,
there is no getting around it. If you do, you'll win --
if you don't you won't."
- Bruce Jenner
"The gym teacher's name was Mr. Caruso. Mr. Caruso did
not speak English. He spoke 'Gym.' One day I was playing
basketball and Mr. Caruso told me I would have to get
an athletic supporter. He didn't express himself exactly
that way, though. He said, 'Hey, you, one day you're gonna
go up for a rebound and the family jewels aren't gonna
go with ya.' I had no idea what he was talking about.
Next day I showed up for practice without my watch and
my mezuzah. He said, 'Did ya take care of the family jewels?'
I said, 'I left 'em in my locker.' Took us a half hour to
revive Mr. Caruso."
- Tommy Lasorda
Attitude
"I am convinced that attitude is the key to success or failure
in
almost any of life's endeavors. Your attitude--your perspective,
your outlook, how you feel about yourself, how you feel about
other people--determines your priorities, your actions, your
values.
Your attitude determines how you interact with other people and
how
you interact with yourself."
- Carolyn Warner
"I've always believed that you can think positive just as well
as you can
think negative."
- Sugar Ray Robinson
"There are only 3 colors, 10 digits, and 7 notes; its what we do
with them
that's important."
- Ruth Ross
"If you're going to be able to look back on something and laugh
about it,
you might as well laugh about it now."
- Marie Osmond
Autumn
"Autumn arrives in the early morning, but
spring at the close of a winter day."
- Elizabeth Bowen
"Change is a measure of time and, in the autumn,
time seems speeded up. What was is not and never again will be;
what is is change.
- Edwin Way Teale
"I trust in Nature for the stable laws
Of beauty and utility. Spring shall plant
And Autumn garner to the end of time."
- Robert Browning
"Climb the mountains and get their good tidings.
Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees.
The winds will blow their own freshness into you,
and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like
autumn
leaves."
- John Muir
B
Baseball
"Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical."
- Yogi Berra
"Baseball is a skilled game. It's America's game --
it, and high taxes."
- Will Rogers
"Little League baseball is a very good thing because it
keeps the parents off the streets."
- Yogi Berra
"When I was a little boy, I wanted to be a baseball player,
and join the circus. With the Yankees, I've accomplished both."
- Anthony Standen (ouch!!)
"People ask me what I do in winter when there's no baseball.
I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and
wait for spring."
- Rogers Hornsby
"Baseball is the only field of endeavor where a man can
succeed three times out of ten and be considered a good
performer."
- Ted Williams
"When you're in a slump, it's almost as if you look
out at the field and it's one big glove."
- Vance Law
"Back then, my idol was Bugs Bunny, because I saw a
cartoon of him playing ball - you know, the one where
he plays every position himself with nobody else on the
field but him? Now that I think of it, Bugs is still
my idol. You have to love a ballplayer like that."
- Nomar Garciaparra
Beauty
"Beauty provoketh thieves sooner than gold."
- Shakespeare (1564-1616)
As You Like It, I, ii, 13
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"
- Margaret W. Hungerford (1855?-1897)
"Yesterday we obeyed kings and bent our necks before emperors.
But today we kneel only to truth, follow only beauty,
and obey only love."
- Kahlil Gibran
"Children of Gods, Scions of Apes"
"It is the beautiful bird that gets caged."
- Chinese Proverb
Believe in Yourself
"Believe in yourself, your neighbors, your work,
your ultimate attainment of more complete happiness.
It is only the farmer who faithfully plants seeds in
the Spring, who reaps a harvest in Autumn."
- B. C. Forbes
"Take control of your destiny. Believe in yourself.
Ignore those who try to discourage you. Avoid negative
sources, people, places, things and habits. Don't give
up and don't give in."
- Wanda Carter
"The power of one is above all things The power to believe
in yourself Often well beyond any latent ability previously
demonstrated. The mind is the athlete, The body is simply
the means it uses."
- Bryce Courtenay
From the book "The Power Of One"
"A friend is one who believes in you when you have
ceased to believe in yourself."
- Unknown
Birthday
"What's the point? My face, shall we say, looks lived in."
- Ava Gardner (1922-1990)
US actress
On not lying about her upcoming 65th birthday,
in "People," 10 Jun 85
"It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on
my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a
helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.'"
- Sam Levenson (1911-1980)
US humorist, author
"There is still no cure for the common birthday."
- John Glenn
"Sooner or later we all discover that the important moments
in life are not the advertised ones, not the birthdays,
the graduations, the weddings, not the great goals achieved.
The real milestones are less prepossessing. They come to the
door of memory."
- Susan B. Anthony (1820-1906)
US social reformer, suffragist
Brendan Behan
Brendan Behan is an Irish author noted for his powerful political views and earthy satire. He was born in Dublin and lived his childhood in the slums of the city.
While not in jail or at the pub, Behan worked in odd jobs and wrote plays and stories that colorfully depicted the life of the ordinary working men.
Several of his books were considered too controversial and were banned in Behan's home land of Ireland.
Behan spent most of the years from 1939 to 1946 in English and Irish penal institutions on political charges.
He is noted for his plays "The Big House" and "The Hostage".
His best known novel is "Borstal Boy" which was based on Behan's experiences in the Liverpool jail and Borstal school.
"When I came back to Dublin, I was court-martialed in
my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so
I said they could shoot me in my absence."
- Brendan Behan (1923-1964)
From his play "The Hostage", 1958
"Critics are like eunuchs in a harem:
they know how it's done, they've seen it done every day,
but they're unable to do it themselves."
- Brendan Behan (1923-1964)
"It's not that the Irish are cynical.
It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect
for everything and everybody."
- Brendan Behan (1923-1964)
"I have never seen a situation so dismal that a policeman
couldn't make it worse."
- Brendan Behan (1923-1964)
"I have a total irreverence for anything connected
with society except that which makes the roads safer,
the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and the old men and
old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer."
27 Brendan Behan (1923-1964)
Be Yourself
"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing
its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means
to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight;
and never stop fighting."
- E. E. Cummings, 1955
"The life of every man is a diary in which he means
to write one story, and writes another."
- James Matthew Barrie
"God has given you one face, and you make yourself another."
- William Shakespeare
"The whole object of comedy is to be yourself
and the closer you get to that, the funnier you will be."
- Jerry Seinfeld
American comedian, entertainer
Books
"What we become depends on what we read after all of the
professors have finished with us. The greatest university of
all is a collection of books."
- Thomas Carlyle
"I suggest that the only books that influence us are those
for which we are ready, and which have gone a little further
down our particular path than we have gone ourselves."
- E. M. Forster
"A man is known by the books he reads, by the company he keeps,
by the praise he gives, by his dress, by his tastes,
by his distastes, by the stories he tells, by his gait,
by the notion of his eye ..."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
US philosopher, poet, essayist
"Journals," 1909-14, entry for 24 Jun 1830.
"Wear the old coat and buy the new book."
28 Austin Phelps
Business
"If you don't drive your business you will be driven out of business."
- B. C. Forbes
"You read a book from beginning to end. You run a business the opposite way. You start with the end, and then you do everything you must to reach it."
- Harold Geneen CEO
"Concentrate your strengths against your competitor's relative weaknesses."
- Bruce Henderson
"A business that makes nothing but money is a poor kind of business."
- Henry Ford
Busy
"It's not so much how busy you are, but why you are busy. The bee is praised. The mosquito is swatted."
- Mary O'Connor
"Being busy does not always mean real work. The object of all work is production or accomplishment and to either of these ends there must be forethought, system, planning, intelligence, and honest purpose, as well as perspiration. Seeming to do is not doing."
- Thomas Alva Edison (1847-1931) American inventor, patented more than 1,000 inventions
"One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn't pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself."
- Lucille Ball (1911-1989) US actress, producer
"Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair."
- George Burns (1896-1996) American actor, author, comedian, vaudevillian
C
Capitalism
"The dynamics of capitalism is postponement of enjoyment to
the constantly postponed future."
- Norman O. Brown
"And while the law [of competition] may be sometimes hard for
the individual, it is best for the race, because it ensures the
survival of the fittest in every department."
- Andrew Carnegie
"Capitalism needs to function like a game of tug-of-war.
Two opposing sides need to continually struggle for dominance,
but
at no time can either side be permitted to walk away with the
rope."
- Pete Holiday
"Please, please, kids, stop fighting. Maybe Lisa's right about
America being the land of opportunity, and maybe Adil's got a
point about the machinery of capitalism being oiled with the
blood of the workers."
- Homer Simpson
Cats
"Dogs have Owners, Cats have Staff."
- Unknown
"There are two means of refuge from the miseries
of life: music and cats."
- Albert Schweitzer
"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast."
- Unknown
(Dogbyte's Cat TC nips him on the nose)
"People that hate cats, will come back as mice in their next
life."
- Faith Resnick
Censorship
"The dirtiest book of all is the expurgated book."
- Walt Whitman
"Books won't stay banned -
Ideas won't go to jail."
- Alfred Whitney Griswold
"To limit the press is to insult a nation; to prohibit
reading of certain books is to declare the inhabitants to
be either fools or slaves."
- Claude-Adrien Helvetius
"Every burned book enlightens the world."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Cesar Chavez
Happy Cinco De Mayo!
Cesar Chavez was born near Yuma, Arizona (if you ever been there it is nearly hotter than hell in the summer but still wonderful
for farming). He grew up in migrant labor camps and did a short tour in the Navy. From 1952 until 1962 he worked for the Community Service Organization, a self-help group. Chavez began working to create a farm workers union which was chartered in 1966 by the American Federation of Labor and Congress on
Industrial Organizations (AFL-CIO) as the United Farm Workers Organizing
Committee. With Chavez as the farm workers union president, in 1968 Chavez gained attention as leader of a nationwide boycott of California table grapes in a drive to achieve labor contracts.
"Every person is an impact and you really see results. Boycotts really work. They worked for us twice in 1970 and 1975. Every time you go to the store and chose not to buy grapes you cast a vote for to believe, you can cast this vote as many times as you want and the polls never close. These are not family funds we are talking about, these are major corporations and the only way to get through them is by not buying grapes."
- Cesar Chavez (1927-1993)
from speech "Power of the Boycott"
"Somewhere and somehow these people are never going to be the same.
It's very important to us that people question, that they participate and that are never afraid to have some principle and stand by that principle."
- Cesar Chavez (1927-1993)
from speech "The Power of your Principles
"The risks are given to the consumer, the unsuspecting consumer
and the poor work force. And who gets the benefits? The benefits
are only for the corporations, for the money makers."
- Cesar Chavez (1927-1993)
from speech "The Danger of Pesticides"
Change
"Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed."
- Irene Peter
"Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others."
- Jacob M. Braude
"Stubborness does have its helpful features. You always know what you are going to be thinking tomorrow."
- Glen Beaman
"When you are through changing, you are through."
- Bruce Barton
"Children have more need of models than of critics."
- Joseph Joubert (1754-18240 Pensees, no. 261
"The child is father of the man."
- William Wordsworth (1770-1850)
"Respect the child. Be not too much his parent.
Trespass not on his solitude."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
"A child tells in the street what its
father and mother say at home."
29 The Talmud
30
Churchill, Sir Winston
"The greatest lesson in life is to know that
even fools are right sometimes."
- Sir. Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
"The price of greatness is responsibility."
- Sir. Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
"The optimist sees opportunity in every danger;
the pessimist sees danger in every opportunity."
- Sir. Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
"A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and
won't change the subject."
- Sir. Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
Computers
"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots.
So far, the Universe is winning."
- Rich Cook
"The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity."
- Patrick Murray
"UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity."
- Dennis Ritchie
"The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit."
- Eric Porterfield
"Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers."
- Leonard Brandwein
Confidence
"A man desires praise that he may be reassured, that he may be quit of his doubting of himself; he is indifferent to applause when he is confident of success."
- Alec Waugh
On Doing What One Likes
"Besides pride, loyalty, discipline, heart, and mind, confidence is the key to all the locks."
- Joe Paterno
"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.
Live the life you have imagined."
- Henry David Thoreau
"I still say a church steeple with a lightening rod on top shows a lack of confidence."
- Doug McLeod
Condemn
"Commonplace minds usually condemn what is beyond the reach of their understanding."
- Francois LaRochefoucauld (1613-1680)
French author
"Those who fear the imagination condemn it: something childish, they say, something monsterish misbegotten. Not all of us dream awake.
But those of us who do have no choice."
- Patricia McKillip (1948-)
Science Fiction Writer
"We cannot change anything until we accept it.
Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses."
- C. G. Jung
from 'Psychological Reflections'
"Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain - and most do."
- Dale Carnegie (1888-1955)
Teacher, Writer
Courage
"Courage... is when you know you're licked before you begin but
you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what."
- Harper Lee
"Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but
the form of every virtue at the testing point."
- Clive Staples Lewis
"Courage is being afraid but going on anyhow."
- Dan Rather
"Against change of fortune set a brave heart."
- French proverb
Creativity
"Creative minds have always been known to survive any kind of
bad training."
- Anna Freud
"Creativity can be described as letting go of certainties."
- Gail Sheehy (1937-)
US writer, journalist, editor
"Any activity becomes creative when the doer cares about
doing it right, or doing it better."
- John Updike
"Creativity involves breaking out of established patterns
in order to look at things in a different way."
- Edward De Bono (1933-)
Maltese physician, educator
Crime
"A thief believes everybody steals."
- E.W. Howe
"When a man comes to me and tries to convince me that he is not a thief, then I take care of my coppers."
- Ernestine L. Rose (1810-1892)
US activist
Speaking at a May 12, 1869, anniversary celebration
of the Equal Rights Association.
"Commit a crime, and the earth is made of glass."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
US philosopher, poet, essayist
"Essays," "Compensation" (First Series), 1841.
"It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one considers that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies."
- Woody Allen
D
Date
"A date is a job interview that lasts all night. The only difference between a date and a job interview is that there are not many job interviews where there's a chance you'll end up naked at the end of it."
- Jerry Seinfeld
"What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
About 30 pounds."
- Cindy Garner
"My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I
got two girlfriends."
- Anonymous
"I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog."
- Wendy Liebman
Decision
"The whole world steps aside for the man who knows where he is going."
- Unknown
"One's mind has a way of making itself up in the background, and it suddenly becomes clear what one means to do."
- A. C. Benson
"Most of the things we decide are not what we know to be the best.
We say yes, merely because we are driven into a corner and must say
something."
- Frank Crane, Essays
"If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favourable."
- Seneca
Defeat
"Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
US philosopher, poet, essayist
"Being defeated is often a temporary condition.
Giving up is what makes it permanent."
- Marilyn vos Savant (1946-)
US columnist, writer
In "Reader's Digest."
"Any coward can fight a battle when he's sure of winning, but give me the man who has pluck to fight when he's sure of losing. That's my way, sir; and there are many victories worse than a defeat."
- George Eliot (1819-1880)
English novelist
Mr. Dempster, in "Janet's Repentance," ch. 8, 1857.
"Defeat should never be a source of courage, but rather a fresh stimulant."
- Robert South (1634-1716)
English clergyman
Destiny
"Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny."
--Kin Hubbard
"One of the secrets of life is to make stepping stones out of stumbling blocks."
--Jack Penn
"I never had a policy; I have just tried to do my very best each and every day."
--Abraham Lincoln
Determination
"A determined soul will do more with a rusty monkey wrench than a loafer will accomplish with all the tools in a machine shop."
- Robert Hughes (1938-)
Australian critic
"People of mediocre ability sometimes achieve outstanding success because they don't know when to quit. Most men succeed because they are determined to."
- George Allen (1922-1990)
US football coach
"Desire is the key to motivation, but it's determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal – a commitment to excellence -- that will enable you to attain the success you seek."
- Mario Andretti (1940-)
US auto racer
"There is a place in God's sun for the youth 'farthest down' who has the vision, the determination, and the courage to reach it."
- Mary McLeod Bethune (1875-1955)
US educator, writer
"A Century of Progress of Negro Women,"
Chicago Women's Federation, June 30, 1935.
Diet
"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond."
- Mae West
"What you eat standing up doesn't count"
- Beth Barnes
"Give me a dozen heartbreaks...if you think it would help me lose one pound."
- Colette
"Never eat more than you can lift."
- Miss Piggy (from the Muppets)
Dogs
"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down."
- Robert Benchley
"The biggest dog has been a pup."
- Joaquin Miller
"The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs."
- Jeanne-Marie Roland
"The dog has got more fun out of Man than Man has got out of the dog, for the clearly demonstrable reason that Man is the more laughable of the two animals."
1 James Thurber
DOG PROPERTY LAWS
1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If it's in my mouth, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine.
8. If I saw it first, it's mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it
automatically becomes mine.
10. If it's broken, it's yours.
HOW DOGS AND MEN ARE THE SAME:
1. Both take up too much space on the bed.
2. Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.
3. Both mark their territory.
4. Neither tells you what's bothering them.
5. The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.
6. Neither does any dishes.
7. Both fart shamelessly.
8. Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.
9. Both like dominance games.
10. Both are suspicious of the postman.
11. Neither understands what you see in cats.
HOW DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN:
1. Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
2. Dogs miss you when you're gone.
3. Dogs feel guilty when they've done something wrong.
4. Dogs admit when they're jealous.
5. Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
6. Dogs do not play games with you-except fetch, (and they never
laugh at how you throw.)
7. You can train a dog.
8. Dogs are easy to buy for.
9. Dogs understand what "no" means.
10. Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
THE TOP TEN REASONS WHY A DOG IS BETTER THAN A WOMAN:
10. A dog's parents will never visit you.
9. A dog loves you when you leave your clothes on the floor.
8. A dog limits its time in the bathroom to a quick drink.
7. A dog never expects you to telephone.
6. A dog will not get mad at you if you forget its birthday.
5. A dog does not care about the previous dogs in your life.
4. A dog does not get mad at you if you pet another dog.
3. A dog never expects flowers on Valentine's Day.
2. The later you are, the happier a dog is to see you.
1. A dog does not shop.
LIFE LESSONS LEARNED FROM A DOG:
1. If you stare at someone long enough, eventually you'll get
what you want.
2. Don't go out without ID.
3. Be direct with people; let them know exactly how you feel by
piddling on their shoes.
4. Be aware of when to hold your tongue, and when to use it.
5. Leave room in your schedule for a good nap.
6. When you do something wrong, always take responsibility (as
soon as you're dragged out from under the bed).
7. If it's not wet and sloppy, it's not a real kiss.
E
Earth
"Earth is here so kind, that just tickle her with a hoe and
she laughs with a harvest."
- Douglas Jerrold (1803-1857)
English humorist, playwright, journalist
"A Land of Plenty" (1859)
"Earth laughs in flowers."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
US philosopher, poet, essayist
"Earth's crammed with heaven,
And every common bush afire with God;
But only he who sees, takes off his shoes --
The rest sit round it and pluck blackberries...."
- Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806 - 1861)
English poet
"Aurora Leigh," bk. VII, 1. 820, 1857.
"A lake is the landscape's most beautiful and expressive feature.
It is earth's eye; looking into which the beholder measures the depth of his own nature."
- Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)
US essayist, poet, naturalist
"Walden," "The Ponds," 1854.
"Atoms for peace. Man is still the greatest miracle and the greatest problem on this earth."
- David Sarnoff (1891-1971)
Russian-US inventor, pioneer, executive
First message sent with atomic-powered electricity
27 Jan 1954
Economics
"There are two methods, or means, and only two, whereby man's needs and desires can be satisfied. One is the production and exchange of wealth; this is the economic means. The other is the uncompensated appropriation of wealth produced by others; this is the political means."
- Albert Jay Nock
"Economists state their GNP growth projections to the nearest tenth of a percentage point to prove they have a sense of humor."
- Edgar R. Fiedler
"An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today."
-Evan Esar
"Ask five economists and you'll get five different explanations (six if one went to Harvard)."
- Edgar R. Fiedler
Albert Einstein
Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
~Albert Einstein
The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious.
It is the fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle fo true art and
art, science;
whoever does not know it and can no long wonder, no longer marvel, is as
good as dead, and his eyes are dimmed.
~Albert Einstein
Human beings, vegetables, or comic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune,
intoned in the distance by an invisible player.
~Albert Einstein
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
~ Albert Einstein
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit
with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S
relativity.
If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
~Albert Einstein
Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of
value.
~Albert Einstein
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre
minds
~Albert Einstein.
Example isn't another way to teach, it is the only way to teach.
~Albert Einstein
Heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that
goes by the name of patriotism -how passionately I hate them!
~Albert Einstein
Elvis
"Ambition is a dream with a V8 engine."
- Elvis Presley (1935-1977)
US singer, actor
"Some people tap their feet, some people snap their fingers, and some people sway back and forth. I just sorta do ‘em all together, I guess."
- Elvis Presley (1935-1977)
US singer, actor
talking about his way of moving on stage (1956)
"I have no use for bodyguards, but I have a very special use
for two highly trained certified public accountants.
- Elvis Presley (1935-1977)
US singer, actor
"When I was a child, ladies and gentlemen, I was a dreamer. I read comic books, and I was the hero of the comic book. I saw movies, and I was the hero in the movie. So every dream I ever dreamed has come true a hundred times...I learned very early in life that: 'Without a song, the day would never end; without a song, a man ain’t got a friend; without a song, the road would never bend - without a song.' So I keep singing a song.
Goodnight. Thank you."
- Elvis Presley (1935-1977)
US singer, actor
From his acceptance speech for the 1970 Ten
Outstanding
Young Men of the Nation Award. Given at a ceremony on
January 16, 1971.
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."
- Johnny Carson (1925-)
US talk show host, comedian
"'Til we meet you again, may God bless you. Adios."
- Elvis Presley (1935-1977)
US singer, actor
at the end of a concert during his last tour
(1977).
Enthusiasm
"The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which mean never losing your enthusiasm."
- Aldous Huxley
"The worst bankruptcy in the world is the person who has lost his enthusiasm."
- H. W. Arnold
"Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"I rate enthusiasm even above professional skill."
- Sir Edward Appleton
"Knowledge is power and enthusiasm pulls the switch."
- Steve Droke
Evil
"When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle."
- Edmund Burke
Thoughts on the Cause of Present Discontents, 1770
"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."
- Edmund Burke
"The world is a dangerous place to live,
not because of the people who are evil, but
because of the people who don't do anything about it."
- Albert Einstein
"Throughout history, it has been the inaction of those
who could have acted;
the indifference of those who should have known better;
the silence of the voice of justice when it mattered most;
that has made it possible for evil to triumph."
- Haile Selassie
Executives
"A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes
to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has
until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain.
An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain
finished before lunch."
- Fred Allen (1894-1956) US comedian, vaudeville juggler
"Treadmill to Oblivion," pt. 2, 1954
"'Top' management is supposed to be a tree full of owls hooting
when management heads into the wrong part of the forest.
I'm still unpersuaded they even know where the forest is."
- Robert Townsend US business executive
"If a sufficient number of management layers are superimposed
on top of each other, it can be assured that disaster
is not left to chance."
- Norman Augustine (1935-) US author, business executive
"Dealing with network executives is like being
nibbled to death by ducks."
- Eric Sevareid
Experience
"Experience is an arch to build upon."
- Henry Adams (1838-1918)
"It is costly wisdom that is brought by experience."
- Roger Ascham (1515-1568)
"Experience keeps a dear school, but fools will
learn in no other."
- Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Poor Richard's Almanack
"If we could sell our experiences for what
they cost us, we would all be millionaires."
- Abigail Van Buren
"There's something so muffled about the way you experience things. It's as if you were trying to slip through life unchanged." - Kathleen Turner (1954-) US actress Turner, as Sarah Levy, to her husband in film "The Accidental Tourist," 1988 based on the novel by Anne Taylor.
"... there is no perfect knowledge which can be entitled ours, that is innate; none but what has been obtained from experience, or derived in some way from our senses." - William Harvey (1578-1657) English physician
"... the messiness of experience, that may be what we mean by life." - Daniel Boorstin (1914-) US historian "The Image," 1962.
"All is but lip-wisdom which wants experience." - Philip Sidney (1554-1586) English courtier, statesman
Expert
"An expert is a man who doesn't know all the answers, but
is sure that if he is given enough money he can find them."
- Ray Fletcher (1878-1967)
US poet, biographer
"An expert is somebody who is more than 50 miles from home, has
no responsibility for implementing the advice he gives, and
shows slides."
- Edwin Meese (1862-1947)
US educator
"An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less."
- Nicholas Butler (1862-1947)
US educator
Commencement address, Columbia University.
"Always listen to the experts.
They'll tell you what can't be done and why.
Then do it."
- Robert Heinlein (1907-1988)
US science-fiction writer
F
Fade
"In wilderness I sense the miracle of life, and
behind it our scientific accomplishments fade to trivia."
- Charles A. Lindbergh (1902-1974)
US aviator
Declaring that if he were a young man he would
choose a career that kept him more in contact with
nature than with science; in "Life," 22 Dec 1967.
"I was never afraid of failure after that because, I think,
coming
that close to death you get kissed. With the years, the actual
experience of course fades, but the flavor of it doesn't. I
just
had a real sense of what choice do I have but to live fully?"
- Debra Winger (1955-)
US actress
"Parade," 6 Mar 1994.
"Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be
married
to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real
treat."
- Joanne Woodward (1930-)
US actress
"Words of Love," by Jordan L. Linfield & Joseph
Kreisky, 1997.
Father
"I felt something impossible for me to explain in words. Then when they took her away, it hit me. I got scared all over again and began to feel giddy. Then it came to me -- I was a father." - Nat King Cole (1919-1965) US singer, bandleader "Ebony," Mar 1950.
"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother." - Unknown
"Dad taught me everything I know. Unfortunately, he didn't teach me everything he knows." - Al Unser, Jr. (1962-) US auto racer
"A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again." - Enid Bagnold (1889-1981) English novelist, playwright
"My dad has always taught me these words: care and share. That's why we put on clinics. The only thing I can do is try to give back. If it works, it works." - Tiger Woods (1975-) US golfer "An interview with Tiger Woods," golf.com
"It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was." - Anne Sexton (1928-1974) US poet "The Poet's Story,""A Small Journal," ed. by Howard Moss, 1974; entry for 1 Jan 1972
. "I'm moved by contraries, by opposites, the strength that was my mother's eyes, the beauty of my father's hands." - Judith Jamison (1943-) US modern dancer "Dancing Spirit," 1993.
"Any father whose son raises his hand against him is guilty of having produced a son who raised his hand against him." - Charles Peguy (1873-1914) French philosopher, poet
"When I was a kid, I used to imagine animals running under my bed. I told my dad, and he solved the problem quickly. He cut the legs off the bed." - Lou Brock (1939-) US baseball player
"My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government -- he promised Dad he'd go straight." - John Fitzgerald Kennedy
"It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father." - Pope John XXIII (1881-1963) Roman religious leader
"Like father, like son." - Proverb
"My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me." - Jim Valvano (1946-1993) US basketball coach, sportscaster
"Fatherhood is pretending the present you love the most is soap-on-a-rope." - Bill Cosby (1937-) US comedian, actor, author
Faith
"Faith is not something to grasp, it is a state to grow into."
- Mahatama Gandhi
"Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe
with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor to measure
words
but to pour them all out, just as it is, chaff and grain
together,
knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keeping
what
is worth keeping, and then, with the breath of kindness, blow
the rest away."
- George Elliot
"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the
whole staircase, just take the first step."
- Martin Luther King Jr.
"Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this
faith is to see what you believe."
- St. Augustine
Fault
"A man would do nothing if he waited until he could do it
so well that no one could find fault."
- John Henry Newman (1801-1890)
English religious leader, prelate, writer
"A rarer spirit never
Did steer humanity; but you, gods, will give us
Some faults to make us men."
- William Shakespeare (1564-1616)
English dramatist, poet
"Antony and Cleopatra," V:1
"And he that does one fault at first
And lies to hide it, makes it two."
- Isaac Watts (1674-1748)
English minister
Song xv.
"Correct one fault at a time.
Concentrate on the one fault you want to overcome."
- Sam Snead
US golfer
Fishing
"His thoughts swam between us, hidden under rocks, disappearing in weeds, and I was fishing for them, dangling my own words like baits and lures." - Louise Erdrich (1954-) US-American Indian Chippewa writer, poet "Love Medicine,"1984 "
OVERWORK, n. A dangerous disorder affecting high public functionaries who want to go fishing." - Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) US journalist, short-story writer The Devil's Dictionary, 1911.
"The man who goes fishing gets something more than the fish he catches." - Mary Astor (1906-1987) US actress
"There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot." - Steven Wright (1955-) US comedian
"Fishing is much more than fish. ... It is the great occasion when we may return to the fine simplicity of our forefathers." - Herbert Hoover (1874-1964) US president (31st), engineer Recalled on his 90th birthday NY "Times," 9 Aug 1964.
"Fishing is a delusion entirely surrounded by liars in old clothes." - Don Marquis (1878-1937) US journalist, poet, dramatist, humorist The New York Sun
"If fishing is a religion, fly fishing is the high church." - Tom Brokaw (1940-) US broadcast journalist "The International Herald Tribune, 10 Sep 1991.
"Many men go fishing their entire lives without knowing it is not fish they are after." - Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862) US essayist, poet, naturalist
Fool
"A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly,
science into superstition, and art into pedantry.
Hence University education."
- George Bernard Shaw
"The greatest lesson in life is to know that
even fools are right sometimes."
- Sir Winston Spencer Churchill
"If a fool persists in his folly he shall become wise."
- William Blake
"A man may be a fool and not know it --
but not if he is married."
- H.L. Mencken
"A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his
friends."
- Balthasar Gracian
"You can fool too many of the people too much of the time."
- James Thurber
"Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain -- and most fools
do."
- Dale Carnegie
"Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and
more
violent. It takes a touch of genius--and a lot of courage--to
move in the
opposite direction."
1 Ernst F. Schumacher
Freedom
"Give me the liberty to know, to utter, and to argue freely
according to conscience, above all liberties."
- John Milton (1608-1674) English poet, essayist
"Areopagitica: a Speech for the Liberty of Unlicensed
Printing to the Parliament of England," 1644
"This land, which we have watered with our tears and our blood,
is now our mother country, and we are well satisfied to stay
where wisdom abounds and the gospel is free."
- Richard Allen (1760-1831) US religious leader,
activist
"Freedom's Journal," 2 Nov 1827
"Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled
masses yearning to breathe free."
- Emma Lazarus (1849 - 1887)
poem "The New Colossus," 1883.
engraved on a plaque in the Statue of Liberty
"Education came to be one of the great preoccupations,
enlightenment was viewed as the greatest single opportunity
to escape . . . . Parents made untold sacrifice to secure
learning for their children that they had been denied."
- John Hope Franklin (1915-) US educator, historian
"From Slavery to Freedom," 1947.
Those who desire to give up Freedom in order to gain Security, will not have, nor do they deserve, either one.
-Thomas Jefferson
Friendship
"Your friends will know you better in the first
minute you meet than your acquaintances will know
you in a thousand years."
- Richard Bach, "Illusions"
"Count your age with friends but not with years."
- Anonymous
"A true friendship is like sound health,
the value of it is seldom known until lost."
- Chinese Proverb
"Flatterers look like friends, as wolves like dogs."
- George Chapman
You will find, as you look back upon your life, that the moments when you have really lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love. --Henry Drummond
Friends understand each other's thoughts even before they are spoken. --Susan Polis Schutz
*A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.
--Anonymous
It is not what you give your friend, but what you are willing to give him, that determines the quality of your friendship.
--Mary Dixon Thayer
When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it. ---Edgar Watson Howe
We cherish our friends not for their ability to amuse us, but for ours to amuse them. --Evelyn Waugh
*The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him.
---Ralph Waldo Emerson
Wherever you are it is your friends that make your world.
--William James
G
Garrison Keillor
"...if the church put in half the time on covetousness
that it does on lust, this would be a better world."
- Garrison Keillor (1942-)
US author, producer
"Lake Wobegone Days," 1978.
"He didn't run for reelection. `Politics brings you into
contact with all the people you'd give anything to avoid,'
he said. `I'm staying home.'"
- Garrison Keillor (1942-)
US author, producer
"Lake Wobegone Days," 1978.
"I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying
it."
- Garrison Keillor (1942-)
US author, producer
"Lake Wobegone Days," 1978.
"Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted
but getting what you have, which once you have got it you
may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you
known."
- Garrison Keillor (1942-)
US author, producer
"Lake Wobegone Days," 1978.
Gary Larson
"The boss wants his money, see? Or next time it
won't be just your living room we rearrange."
- Gary Larson, "The Far Side"
"A cat killer? Is that a face of a cat killer?
Cat CHASER, maybe. But hey -- who isn't?"
- Gary Larson, "The Far Side"
"The picture's pretty bleak, gentlemen. ... The world's
climates are changing, the mammals are taking over,
and we all have a brain about the size of a walnut."
- Gary Larson, "The Far Side"
"By the time they had diminished from 50 to 8, the
other dwarves began to suspect 'Hungry' ..."
- Gary Larson, "The Far Side"
Golf
"If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it,
it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf."
- Bob Hope
"The only time my prayers are never answered is
on the golf course."
- Billy Graham
"Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite
of what you are inclined to do, and you will probably
come very close to having a perfect golf swing."
- Ben Hogan
"The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays
golf. It's almost a law."
- H. G. Wells
Greatness
"Great deeds are usually wrought at great risks."
- Herodotus
"The greatest thing a man can do in this world is to make the
most possible out of the stuff that has been given him. This
is success, and there is no other."
- Orison Swett Marden
"There are countless ways of achieving greatness, but any road
to
achieving one's maximum potential must be built on a bedrock of
respect for the individual, a commitment to excellence, and a
rejection of mediocrity."
- Buck Rodgers
"Don't dwell on reality; it will only keep you from greatness."
- Rev. Randall R. McBride, Jr.
Groucho on Marriage
"I'll never forget my wedding day...they threw vitamin pills."
- Groucho Marx (1890-1977)
US comedian
"Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his
wife."
- Groucho Marx (1890-1977)
US comedian
"A man is only as old as the woman he feels."
- Groucho Marx (1890-1977)
US comedian
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
- Groucho Marx (1890-1977)
US comedian
H
Head
"A good leader needs to have a compass in his head and
a bar of steel in his heart."
- Robert Townsend
US business executive
"A collection of a hundred Great brains makes one big fathead."
- Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961)
Swiss psychologist, psychiatrist
"A good heart is better than all the heads in the world."
- Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873)
English statesman, poet
"I've seen, I SAY, I've seen better heads on a mug of beer"
- Senator Claghorn
Healing
"God understands our prayers even when we can't find
the words to say them."
- Unknown
"In the night of death, hope sees a star, and
listening love can hear the rustle of a wing."
- Robert Ingersoll
"An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind."
- Mahatma Gandhi - Subbmitted by Don P
"We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey."
- Kenji Miyazawa
"..freedom from fear - which, translated into world
terms, means a world-wide reduction of armaments to such a point
and in such a thorough fashion that no nation will be in a
position to commit an act of physical aggression against any
neighbor - anywhere in the world."
- F. D. Roosevelt - reSubmitted by Ben
"Four Freedom's" Speech
"Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom
by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred."
- Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929-1968) - reSubmitted by
Ben
"I Have A Dream" Speech
Heart
"Our Creator would never have made such lovely
days and have given us the deep hearts to enjoy
them unless we were meant to be immortal."
- Nathaniel Hawthorne
"Hold fast to the Bible as the sheet-anchor of
your liberties; write its precepts in your hearts,
and practice them in your lives."
- Ulysses S. Grant
"My hope for my children must be that they respond
to the still, small voice of God in their own hearts."
- Andrew Young
"Men who pass most comfortably through this world
are those who possess good digestions and hard hearts."
- Harriet Martineau
Hearts
"Our Creator would never have made such lovely
days and have given us the deep hearts to enjoy
them unless we were meant to be immortal."
- Nathaniel Hawthorne
"Hold fast to the Bible as the sheet-anchor of
your liberties; write its precepts in your hearts,
and practice them in your lives."
- Ulysses S. Grant
"My hope for my children must be that they respond
to the still, small voice of God in their own hearts."
- Andrew Young
"Men who pass most comfortably through this world
are those who possess good digestions and hard hearts."
- Harriet Martineau
Hindsight
"Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction".
- Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at
Toulouse, 1872
"The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever
be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon".
- Sir John Eric Ericksen, British surgeon,
appointed Surgeon-Extraordinary to
Queen Victoria 1873.
"Professor Goddard does not know the relation
between action and reaction and the need to have
something better than a vacuum against which to react.
He seems to lack the basic knowledge ladled out daily in
high schools."
- 1921 New York Times editorial about Robert Goddard's
revolutionary rocket work.
"If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the
experiment. The literature was full of examples that
said you can't do this."
- Spencer Silver
on the work that led to the unique
adhesives for 3-M "Post-It" Notepads.
Honor
"'Tis nobler to lose honor to save the lives of men than
it is to gain honor by taking them."
- David Borenstein, 1996
"It is better to deserve honors and not have them than
to have them and not deserve them."
- Mark Twain
"Rather fail with honor than succeed by fraud."
- Sophocles
"Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never - in
nothing,
great or small, large or petty - never give in except to
convictions
of honor and good sense."
- Sr. Winston Spencer Churchill
Horse sense
"Flaming enthusiasm, backed by horse sense and persistence,
is the quality that most frequently makes for success."
- Dale Carnegie (1888-1955)
US teacher, writer
"Horse sense means seeing things two ways -- how you
want them to be and how they have to be."
- June Smith (1880-1946)
US actor, comedian
"Horse sense is the thing a horse has
which keeps it from betting on people."
- W.C. Fields
Human
"I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them,
and I know how bad I am."
- Samuel Johnson
"Man is the only creature that refuses to be what he is."
- Albert Camus
"Man is harder than iron, stronger than stone and more fragile
than a rose."
- Turkish Proverb
"Man is the only kind of varmint sets his own trap, baits it,
then steps in it."
- John Steinbeck
"Sweet Thursday"
Humble
"Boast during the day; be humble at night."
- New Zealander Proverb
"Many a humble soul will be amazed to find that the seed
it sowed in weakness, in the dust of daily life, has blossomed
into immortal flowers under the eye of the Lord."
- Harriet Beecher Stowe (1811-1896)
US author
"The humble and meek are thirsting for blood."
- Joe Orton (1933-1967)
English playwright
"Funeral Games," I.
"The gains in education are never really lost.
Books may be burned and cities sacked, but truth, like
the yearning for freedom, lives in the hearts of humble men."
- Franklin Delano Roosevelt (1882-1945)
US president (32nd)
I
Ideas
"Ideas must work through the brains and arms of good and brave
men, or they are no better than dreams."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Don't worry about people stealing an idea. If it's original,
you will have to ram it down their throats."
- Howard Aiken
"The people who oppose your ideas are inevitably those who
represent the established order that your ideas will upset."
- Anthony D'Angelo
"I got a lot of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck."
- George Carlin
Ideals
"All men are prepared to accomplish the incredible
if their ideals are threatened."
- Hermann Hesse (1877-1962)
German-Swiss novelist
"We are all inclined to judge ourselves by our ideals;
others by their acts."
- Harold Nicholson (1820-1904)
US author, lawyer
"Ideals are the 'incentive payment' of practical men.
The opportunity to strive for them is the currency that
has enriched America through the centuries."
- Robert E. Hannegan (1903-1949)
"It's really a wonder that I haven't dropped all my ideals,
because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out.
Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything I still
believe that people are really good at heart. I simply
can't build my hopes on a foundation consisting of
confusion, misery and death."
- Anne Frank (1929-1945) - submitted by BarbaM
German-Dutch diarist
from "Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl"
Imagination
"The man who has no imagination has no wings."
- Muhammad Ali
"Imagination is more important than knowledge."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
"Imagination is not a talent of some men but
is the health of every man."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a
single man contemplates it, bearing within him the
image of a cathedral."
Saint Antoine de Exupery
"Live out of your imagination, not your history."
- Stephen Covey
"The human race is governed by its imagination."
- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)
"An idea is salvation by imagination."
- Frank Lloyd Wright
"I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination.
Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge
is limited. Imagination encircles the world."
- Albert Einstein
Immortality
"The nearest thing to immortality is this world
is a government bureau."
- General Hugh S. Johnson
(A bureaucrat's idea of cleaning up
his files is to make a copy of every
paper before he destroys it.)
"Each life makes its own imitation of immortality."
- Stephen King
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work.
I want to achieve it through not dying."
- Woody Allen
"If all else fails, immortality can always be assured
by spectacular error."
- John Kenneth Galbraith
Integrity
"And what, incidentally, do you think integrity is? The
ability not to pick a watch out of your neighbor's pocket?
No, it's not as easy as that. If that were all, I'd say that
ninety-five percent of humanity were honest, upright men. Only,
as you can see, they aren't. Integrity is the ability to stand
by an idea."
- Ayn Rand
"The Fountainhead" (1943)
"It is more difficult to be an honourable man for a week
than to be a hero for fifteen minutes."
- Jules Renard
"What is left when honour is lost?"
- Publilius Syrus
"Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and
knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful."
- Samuel Johnson
Astronomer
Samuel Johnson's Rasselas
J
Jobs
"How would you like a job where, every time you make a mistake, a big red
light goes on and 18,000 people boo?" ~Jacques Plante (1929-1986) Canadian
Hockey Player
"Every job is a self-portrait of the person who does it. Autograph your work with excellence."
--Anon.
"What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog."
--Dwight D. Eisenhower
"Hell, there are no rules here - we're trying to accomplish something."
--Thomas A. Edison
K
L
Labor
"Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body."
- Seneca
"Excellence in any department can be attained only by the labor
of a lifetime; it is not to be purchased at a lesser price."
- Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)
English lexicographer, critic
"God sells knowledge for labor -- honor for risk."
- Saudi Arabian Proverb
"By his very success in inventing labor-saving devices,
modern man has manufactured an abyss of boredom that only
the privileged classes in earlier civilizations have ever
fathomed."
- Lewis Mumford (1895-1990)
US urban planner, historian
"The Conduct of Life," "The Challenge of Renewal,"
1951.
Learning
"When the student is ready, the master appears."
- Buddhist Proverb
"What we want is to see the child in pursuit of knowledge,
and not knowledge in pursuit of the child."
- George Bernard Shaw
"The best of my education has come from the public library...
my tuition fee is a bus fare and once in a while, five cents
a day for an overdue book. You don't need to know very much
to start with, if you know the way to the public library."
- Lesley Conger
"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who
cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and
relearn."
- Alvin Toffler
Listen
"Advise and counsel him; if he does not listen, let adversity
teach him."
- Ethiopian Proverb
"Be a good listener. Your ears will never get you in trouble."
- Frank Tyger
"Always listen to the experts. They'll tell you what can't
be done and why. Then do it."
- Robert Heinlein (1907-1988)
US science-fiction writer
In "Friendly Advice," ed. Jon Winokur, 1990.
"Having two ears and one tongue,
we should listen twice as much as we speak."
- Turkish Proverb
Living
“Life is full of obstacle illusions.”
--Grant Frazier
“Fear is the highest fence.”
--Dudley Nichols
“The hour is ripe, and yonder lies the way.”
--Virgil
"Nothing goes by luck in composition. It allows of no tricks. The best you can write will be the best you are."
~ Thoreau
"The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius."
"The economy depends on economists about as much as the weather does on forecasters."
"There are no stupid questions. Just stupid people."
~ Mr. Garrison, South Park
“New day -- new destiny.”
--Bulgarian proverb
“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.”
--T.S. Eliot
“Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching.”
-- Satchel Paige
Loss
"The loss of a friend is like that of a limb;
time may heal the anguish of the wound,
but the loss cannot be repaired."
- Robert Southey (1774-1843)
"Death is not the greatest loss in life.
The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live."
- Norman Cousins (1915-1990)
American editor, writer, author,
"Anatomy of an Illness"
"Loss is nothing else but change, and change is Nature's
delight."
- Marcus Aelius Aurelius (121-180AD)
Roman emperor, philosopher
"Our real blessings often appear to us in the shape
of pains, losses and disappointments; but let us have
patience and we soon shall see them in their proper figures."
- Joseph Addison (1672-1719)
English poet, essayist, playwright
"Don't cry about loss--God never takes anything away without
replacing it. Think positive, especially in times of difficulty"
3 Unknown
Luck
"Luck is when opportunity knocks and you answer."
- Unknown
"Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident."
- Mark Twain
"The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work."
- Harry Golden
"Luck is what you have left over after you give 100 percent."
- Langston Coleman
M
Mae West
"Whenever I have to decide between two evils, I
always choose the one I haven't tried before."
- Mae West (1893-1980)
"A man has one hundred dollars and you leave him
with two dollars, that's subtraction."
- Mae West (1893-1980)
My Little Chickadee, 1940
"She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder
of success wrong by wrong."
- Mae West (1893-1980)
"A hard man is good to find"
- Mae West (1893-1980)
Make a difference
"Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because
he could only do a little."
- Edmund Burke
"Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does."
- William James
"Everyone thinks of changing the world,
but no one thinks of changing himself."
- Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy
"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot,
nothing is going to get better. It's not."
- Dr. Seuss
The Market
"In Reno [Nevada], there is always a bull market,
never a bear market for the stocks and bonds of happiness."
- Virgilia Peterson (1904-1966)
US writer, TV personality
Reno is the reknown for instant marriages;
"A Matter of Life and Death," 1961.
"A free-enterprise economy depends only on markets, and
according to the most advanced mathematical macroeconomic
theory,
markets depend only on moods: specifically, the mood of the men
in the pinstripes, also known as the Boys on the Street."
- Barbara Ehrenreich (1941)
US writer
The Worst Years of Our Lives,
"How You Can Save Wall Street" (1991; first
published 1988).
"Chief executives, who themselves own few shares of their
companies, have no more feeling for the average stockholder
than they do for baboons in Africa."
- T. Boone Pickens (1928)
US businessman
"Harvard Business Review," May/Jun 1986.
"The difference between playing the stock market and
the horses is that one of the horses must win."
- Joey Adams (1911)
US comedian, author
"Reader's Digest," 1 Aug. 1985.
Maturity
"A person's maturity consists in having found again
the seriousness one had as a child, at play."
- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844-1900)
"Acceptance by government of a dissident press
is a measure of the maturity of a nation."
- William O. Douglas
"Sometimes when I get up in the morning, I feel very peculiar.
I feel like I've just got to bite a cat! I feel like if
I don't bite a cat before sundown, I'll go crazy! But
then I just take a deep breath and forget about it.
That's what is known as real maturity."
- Snoopy
Memorial day
"One pilot dropped a bomb right down the smoke stack of the USS
Arizona.
It went five decks down into the boiler room and exploded like a
volcano up the stack of the ship. But the most devastating bomb
hit
the forward magazine area and exploded with the intensity of one
million pounds of TNT. Those who witnessed the Arizona said she
veritably lifted out of the sea and then settled down to the
bottom
of the harbor. From the first bomb to her demise was a total of
nine
minutes."
- Captain Samuel David Chambers, CHC, USN
December 1991 on the occasion of the 50th
Anniversary of Pearl Harbor. Delivered to the
National
Conference on Ministry to the Armed Forces.
"Wars are not acts of God. They are caused by man, by man-made
institutions, by the way in which man has organized his society.
What man has made, man can change."
- Frederick Moore Vinson (1890-1953)
Speech at Arlington National Cemetery (Memorial Day,
1945)
"I think that, as life is action and passion, it is required
of a man that he should share the passion and action of his time
at peril of being judged not to have lived."
- Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. (1841-1935)
Memorial Day Address (1884)
"(The Civil War) created in this country what had never existed
before
a national consciousness. It was not the salvation of the Union;
it was the rebirth of the Union."
- Woodrow Wilson (1856-1924)
Memorial Day Address (1915]
"I was a veteran before I was a teenager."
- Unknown
"I just don't know why they're shooting at us. All we want
to do is bring them democracy and white bread. Transplant
the American dream. Freedom. Achievement. Hyperacidity.
Affluence. Flatulence. Technology. Tension. The inalienable
right to an early coronary sitting at your desk while plotting
to stab your boss in the back."
- Hawkeye
from *M*A*S*H* "O.R.," 1974
Misc
“When you re-read a classic you do not see in the book more than you did before. You see more in you than there was before.”
--Clifton Fadiman
“Faith that the thing can be done is essential to any great achievement.”
--Thomas N. Carruther
“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”
--Mark Twain
Do it today:
“A year from now you may wish you had started today.”
--Karen Lamb
“Procrastination is the thief of time.”
--Edward Young
“The sooner I fall behind, the more time I have to catch up.”
--Anon.
Make a difference
"If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one."
- Mother Teresa
"Wherever a man turns he can find someone who needs him."
- Albert Schweitzer
"He who gives when he is asked has waited too long."
- Sunshine Magazine
"How far that little candle throws his beams!
So shines a good deed in a weary world."
- William Shakespeare
"I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts,
then there is no hurt, but only more love."
- Mother Teresa
"I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but
I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do
interfere with what I can do."
- Edward Everett Hale
"It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because
you can only do little - do what you can."
- Sydney Smith
"How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment
before
starting to improve the world."
- Anne Frank
"Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person." - Mother Teresa
"A man is called selfish not for pursuing his own good, but for neglecting his neighbor's." - Richard Whately
"We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men." - Herman Melville
"Find out how much God has given you and from it take what you need; the remainder is needed by others." - Saint Augustine
Military strategy
"Always mystify, mislead and surprise the enemy if possible."
- Stonewall Jackson (1824-1863)
US confederate army general "Stonewall' Jackson."
"If you know the enemy and know yourself,
you need not fear the result of a hundred battles."
- Sun Tzu (c. 500 BC-?)
Chinese military strategist
In "The Art of War," ch. 3, Axiom 18,
edited by James Clavell, 1981.
"The enemy advances, we retreat.
The enemy camps, we harass.
The enemy tires, we attack.
The enemy retreats, we pursue.."
- Mao Tse-Tung (1893-1976)
Chinese political leader
Slogan for his troops, recalled on his death 9 Sep
76
"The art of war is simple enough. Find out where your enemy is.
Get at him as soon as you can. Strike him as hard as you can
and as often as you can, and keep moving on."
- Ulysses S. Grant (1822-1885)
US president (18th)
Mom
"All I am I owe to my mother."
- George Washington
"The hand that rocks the cradle is
the hand that rules the world."
- W.R. Wallace
"God could not be everywhere and therefore He made mothers."
- Jewish Proverb
"To a child's ear, 'mother' is magic in any language."
- Arlene Benedict, For Mother with Love
"God sees us through our Mothers' eyes and rewards us
for our virtues."
- Ganeshan Venkatarman, Indian philosopher
"Life began with waking up and loving my mother's face"
- George Eliot, English novelist
"Mother is the name of God in the lips and hearts of children."
- William Makepeace Thackeray, English novelist
"A mother is she who can take the place of all others."
- Cardinal Mermillod
"Mother is the bank where we deposit all
our hurts and worries."
- Unknown
"My mother's love for me was so great
I have worked hard to justify it."
- Marc Chagall
"No influence is so powerful as that of the mother."
- Sarah Josepha Hale
"The strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws."
- Barbara Kingsolver
"Mothers are instinctive philosophers."
- Harriet Beecher Stowe
"A good mother is worth hundreds of schoolmasters."
- George Herbert
"The mother's heart is the child's schoolroom."
- Henry Ward Beecher
"Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human
being to do the impossible."
- Unknown
"A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best,
but his mother the longest."
- Irish proverb
"A mother loves her children even when they least
deserve to be loved."
- Kate Samperi
"Mother is the one we count on for the things that
matter most of all."
- Katherine Butler Hathaway
"For all the ways you've helped me grow
I want to say I love you so."
- Unknown
"Who ran to help me when I fell,
Or kissed the place to make it well?
....My mother."
- Ann Taylor
"A mother understands what a child does not say."
- Jewish proverb
"Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired,
it need not be deserved."
- Erich Fromm, psychologist
"Mother is the home we come from.
She is nature, soil, ocean."
- Erich Fromm, psychologist
"My mother said to me, 'If you become a soldier, you'll be a
general; if you become a monk, you'll end up as the pope.'
Instead, I became a painter and wound up as Picasso."
- Pablo Picasso
"One of the oldest human needs is having someone to
wonder where you are when you don't come home at night."
- Margaret Mead
"My mother loved children - she would have given
anything if I had been one."
- Groucho Marx
"When it comes to love, Mom's the word."
- Unknown
"God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers."
- Jewish Proverb
"A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy,
and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes."
- Robert Frost
"You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day
of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine."
- Homer Simpson
"When it comes to love, Mom's the word."
- Unknown
Money
"The safest way to double your money is to fold
it over once and put it in your pocket."
- Frank McKinney Hubbard
"Money is a terrible master but an excellent servant."
- P. T. Barnum (1810-1891)
"Money often costs too much."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
"When it is a question of money, everybody
is of the same religion."
- Voltaire
N
Newspaper
"A newspaper should be the maximum of information,
and the minimum of comment."
- Richard Cobden (1804-1865)
English politician
"Never joke with the press.
Irony does not translate into newsprint."
- Erica Jong
"If one morning I walked on top of the water across the
Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read:
PRESIDENT CAN'T SWIM."
- Lyndon B. Johnson
"Hey, this is the only paper in America that's not afraid
to tell the truth, that everything is just fine."
- Homer Simpson
Nuclear
"Long after the bomb falls and you and your good deeds are gone, cockroaches will still be here, prowling the streets like armored cars." - Tama Janowitz (1957-) US novelist "Slaves of New York," "Modern Saint 271," 1986
. "We have genuflected before the god of science only to find that it has given us the atomic bomb, producing fears and anxieties that science can never mitigate." - Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929-1968) US civil rights leader, clergyman "Strength To Love," ch. 13, 1963.
"The hope of free man in a frightened world is the values which man puts ahead of inventions when his back is to the wall. These values are beauty, truth, goodness and having a faith, all of which are bombproof." - Ralph W. Sockman (1889 - 1970) US religious leader Recalled on his death 29 Aug 1970.
"The world has achieved brilliance without conscience. Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants." - Omar Bradley (1893 - 1981) US army general Speech, Armistice Day, 1948.
O
Owe
"All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother."
- Abraham Lincoln
"A champion owes everybody something. He can never pay back
for all the help he got, for making him an idol."
- Jack Dempsey (1895-1983)
US boxer
"A man, as a general rule, owes very little to what he is born
with --
a man is what he makes of himself."
- Alexander Graham Bell (1847-1922)
Scottish-US-Canadian inventor
"Just because you like my stuff doesn't mean I owe you
anything."
- Bob Dylan
Overcome
"Cowards falter, but danger is often overcome by those who nobly
dare."
- Queen Mother Elizabeth (1900-)
British royalty
"A keen sense of humor helps us to overlook the unbecoming,
understand the unconventional, tolerated the unpleasant,
overcome the unexpected, and outlast the unbearable."
- Billy Graham (1918-)
US evangelist
"Reader's Digest," Mar 1993.
"If you have overcome your inclination and not been overcome by
it,
you have reason to rejoice."
- Titus Maccius Plautus (254BC-184BC)
Roman comic poet
"You've got to love what you're doing. If you love it,
you can overcome any handicap or the soreness or all
the aches and pains, and continue to play for a long, long
time."
- Gordie Howe
P
Patroitism
"It is the love of country that has lighted and
that keeps glowing the holy fire of patriotism."
- J. Horace McFarland
"Abandon your animosities and make your sons Americans!"
- Robert E. Lee (1807-1870)
"A politician will do anything to keep his job --
even become a patriot."
- William Randolph Hearst (1863-1951)
US newspaper publisher, Recalled on his death 14 Aug
1951
"Liberty is always dangerous,
but it is the safest thing we have."
- Harry Emerson Fosdick
"A patriot must always be ready to defend his country
against his government."
- Edward Abbey (1927-1989)
US author
"Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet depreciate
agitation, are men who want rain without thunder
and lightning."
- Frederick Douglass (1817?-1895)
"These Colors Don't Run!"
- Bumper Sticker
"Beer commercials are so patriotic: 'Made the American Way.'
What does that have to do with America? Is that what
America stands for? Feeling sluggish and urinating
frequently?"
- Evelyn Waugh
Perception
"Perception is strong and sight weak. In strategy it is important to see distant things as if they were close and to take a distanced view of close things." - Miyamoto Musashi (1584-1645) Japanese warrior, strategist
"Science is nothing but developed perception, interpreted intent, common sense rounded out and minutely articulated." - George Santayana (1863-1952) US philosopher, author, educator, poet
"The act of smelling something, anything, is remarkably like the act of thinking. Immediately at the moment of perception, you can feel the mind going to work, sending the odor around from place to place, setting off complex repertories through the brain." - Lewis Thomas (1913-1993) English biologist, essayist
"There are children playing in the street who could solve some of my top problems in physics, because they have modes of sensory perception that I lost long ago." - J. Robert Oppenheimer (1904-1967) US physicist
Persistence
"He conquers who endures."
- Persius
"Effort only fully releases its reward
after a person refuses to quit."
- Napoleon Hill
"If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
to serve your turn long after they are gone, and
so hold on when there is nothing in you except
the will which says to them: 'Hold on!'"
- Rudyard Kipling
"Most people give up just when they're about
to achieve success. They quit on the one yard
line. They give up at the last minute of the
game one foot from a winning touchdown."
- H. Ross Perot
"Illegitimis non carborundum."
- Gen. Joseph Stilwell
(Lat., "Don't let the bastards grind you down.")
Pity
"I've never any pity for conceited people, because I think
they carry their comfort about with them."
- George Eliot (1819-1880)
English novelist
The Mill on the Floss, Bk v. 4
"It is easy to condemn, it is better to pity."
- Lyman Abbott (1835-1922)
US religious leader
"I hope to leave my children a sense of empathy and
pity and a will to right social wrongs."
- Anita Roddick (1942-)
English businesswoman, social reformer
In "The Sunday Express," 9 Jun 1991.
Political Freudian Slips
"We need laws that protect everyone. Men and women, straights and
gays, regardless of sexual perversion...ah, persuasion."
- Bella Abzug, New York politician
(address a rally for the Equal Rights
Amendment)
"For seven and half years I've worked alongside President
Reagan.
We've had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We've had some sex...
uh...setbacks."
- President George Bush
(stated when Vice President)
"[I ask you to] work together with me for a better life for oil...
I mean all."
- Senator Henry Jackson, campaigning in 1976
"The United Sates has much to offer the third world war."
- President Ronald Reagan
(state in a speech on what the US has to offer
the Third World. he repeated this error nine
times in the same speech.)
"My fellow Americans. I've signed legislation that will outlaw
Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes."
- President Ronald Reagan
(famous mic check just before he was going to
make a radio broadcast. He was showing his
humors side. This remark was made on Aug 11, 1984.
The Kremlin was not pleased.)
Plato
"Thinking: The talking of the soul with itself."
- Plato (427?-347? B.C.)
"There is far greater peril in buying knowledge
than in buying meat and drink"
- Plato (427?-347? B.C.)
"One of the penalties for refusing to participate
in politics is that you end up being governed by your
inferiors."
- Plato (427?-347? B.C.)
"What is honored in a country will be cultivated there."
- Plato (427?-347? B.C.)
Ponder
"The ink of the scholar is more sacred than the blood of the
martyr."
- Mohammad
"I couldn't help but say to [Mr. Gorbachev], just think
how easy his task and mine might be in these meetings
that we held if suddenly there was a threat to this
world from another planet. [We'd] find out once
and for all that we really are all human beings
here on this earth together."
- President Ronald Reagan, 1985
"When the ax entered the forest, the trees said,
'The handle is one of us!'"
- Turkish proverb
"There is nothing as eloquent as a rattlesnake's tail."
- Navajo Proverb
Praise
"I have yet to find the man, however exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than under a spirit of criticism." - Charles M. Schwab
"There is no investment you can make which will pay you so well as the effort to scatter sunshine and good cheer through your establishment." - Orison Swett Marden
"Everyone has an invisible sign hanging from their neck saying, 'Make me feel important.' Never forget this message when working with people." - Mary Kay
"The sweetest of all sounds is praise." - Xenophon
The Price
"A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing." - Oscar Wilde
"A good film is when the price of the dinner, the theatre admission and the babysitter were worth it." - Alfred Hitchcock
"The price of greatness is responsibility." - Sir Winston Spencer Churchill
"The price one pays for pursuing any profession, or calling, is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side." - James Baldwin
Presidency
PRESIDENCY, n.
The greased pig in the field game of American politics.
- Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)
US journalist, short-story writer
The Devil's Dictionary, 1911.
"Anyone that wants the presidency so much that
he'll spend two years organizing and campaigning for it
is not to be trusted with the office."
- David Broder
"All the president is, is a glorified public relations
man who spends his time flattering, kissing, and
kicking people to get them to do what they are
supposed to do anyway."
- Harry S Truman
"Being president is like being a jackass in a hailstorm.
There's nothing to do but to stand there and take it."
- Lyndon B. Johnson
Principle
"In matters of principle, stand like a rock;
in matters of taste, swim with the current."
- Thomas Jefferson
"A precedent embalms a principle."
- Benjamin Disraeli
"It's easier to fight for one's principles
than to live up to them."
- Unknown
"In accordance with our principles of free enterprise
and healthy competition, I'm going to ask you two to
fight to the death for it."
4 Monty Python
Problems
"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking
we used when we created them."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
"It's odd that you can get so anesthetized by your
own pain or your own problem that you don't quite fully
share the hell of someone close to you."
- Lady Bird Johnson (1912-)
US first lady "A White House Diary," 1970.
"A government solution to a problem is always followed by
the creation of at least two additional problems, either
of which was worse than the original problem which the
government set out to solve."
- Unknown
"When will I learn? The answer to life's problems
aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!"
- Homer Simpson
Proverbs
"At the end of the game the king and the pawn
go back in the same box."
- Italian Proverb
"He who has health has hope; and he who has hope,
has everything."
- Arabian Proverb
"He who seeks a friend without fault remains without."
- Old Turkish Proverb
"Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper."
- Scottish Proverb
Puns
"A pun is the lowest form of humor when you do not think of it first." - Oscar Levant
"Puns are little plays on words that a certain breed of person loves to spring on you and then look at you in a certain self-satisfied way to indicate that he thinks that you must think that he is by far the cleverest person on Earth now that Benjamin Franklin is dead, when in fact what you are thinking is that if this person ever ends up in a lifeboat, the other passengers will hurl him overboard by the end of the first day even if they have plenty of food and water." - Dave Barry (Why Humor is Funny)
"Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted." - Fred Allen (Sarcasm is the sour cream of wit)
Q
Question: If you could live forever, would you?
---Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
---Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean, I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
---Mariah Carey
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
---Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal
anti-smoking campaign.
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
---Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
"Outside of the killings, Washington, DC, has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
---Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."
---Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it."
---A congressional candidate in Texas.
"Half this game is ninety-percent mental."
---Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
---Al Gore, Vice President
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
---Dan Quayle, Vice President
It's no exaggeration to say that the undecided could go one way or another."
---George Bush, US President
"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: 'How much clean air do we need?'"
---Lee Iacocca
"The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
---Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
---Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
---Bill Clinton, President
"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
---Al Gore, VP
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
---Keppel Enderbery
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
---Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
---Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
R
Reach Higher
"The greatest discovery of my generation is
that human beings can alter their lives by
altering their attitudes of mind."
- William James
"It is not enough to have great qualities. We
should also have the management of them."
- Duc Francois de La Rochefouchaud (1613-1680)
"There is no meaning to life except the meaning
man gives his life by the unfolding of his powers."
- Erich Fromm (1900-1980)
"The tree in which the sap is stagnant remains fruitless."
- Hosea Ballou
Remember
"Because I remember, I despair. Because I remember,
I have the duty to reject despair."
- Elie Wiesel (1928-)
Romanian-US novelist
Nobel lecture, Oslo, 11 Dec 86
"A place belongs forever to whoever claims it hardest,
remembers it most obsessively, wrenches it from itself,
shapes it, renders it, loves it so radically that
he remakes it in his own image."
- Joan Didion (1934-)
US screenwriter, author
"And when is there time to remember, to sift, to weigh,
to estimate, to total?"
- Tillie Olsen (1912-)
US novelist
"I Stand Here Ironing," 1954; "Tell Me A Riddle,"
1960.
"I remember every detail. The Germans wore grey. You wore blue."
- Humphrey Bogart (1899-1957)
US actor
To Ingrid Bergman in "Casablanca," 1942
A Rose...
"God gave us memory that we might have roses in December." - James Matthew Barrie (1860-1937) Scottish dramatist, novelist
"The mind does not create what it perceives, any more than the eye creates the rose." - Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) US philosopher, poet, essayist
"But he that dares not grasp the thorn, Should never crave the rose." - Anne Bronte (1820-1849) English novelist, poet "The Complete Poems of Anne Bronte."
"You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses." - Tom Wilson
Reality
"Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality." - Jules de Gaultier
"Everything you can imagine is real." - Pablo Picasso
"Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him?" - Calvin (from Calvin & Hobbes)
"Reality bites... and doesn't let go." - Source Unknown
Romance
"In a great romance, each person plays a part
the other really likes."
- Elizabeth Ashley
"Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance."
- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
"The best scientist is open to experience and begins
with romance--the idea that anything is possible."
- Ray Bradbury
"Mom, romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile
takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized,
and sold off piece by piece."
- Lisa Simpson
S
Science
"Give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it,
and I shall move the world."
- Archimedes, Pappus of Alexandria
"There is a single light of science, and to brighten it anywhere
is to brighten it everywhere."
- Isaac Asimov
"The great tragedy of science -- the slaying of a beautiful
hypothesis by an ugly fact."
- Thomas Huxley
"Science may have found a cure for most evils; but it has found
no remedy for the worst of them all- the apathy of human
beings."
- Helen Keller
Scottish proverbs
"If you don't see the bottom, don't wade."
- Scottish Proverbs
"Be happy while you're living, for you're a long time dead."
- Scottish Proverbs
"Twelve highlanders and a bagpipe make a rebellion."
- Scottish Proverbs
"Confessed faults are half mended."
- Scottish Proverbs
Self-confidence
"Self-trust is the first secret of success"
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings."
- Samuel Johnson
"They are able because they think they are able."
- Virgil
"Confidence is that feeling by which the mind embarks
on great and honorable courses with a sure hope and
trust in itself."
- Cicero
Senimental
"It's not good to make sentimental journeys. You see the differences instead of the sameness." - Mary Astor (1906-1987) US actress "A Life on Film," 1967.
"Whenever people say we mustn't be sentimental, you can take it they are about to do something cruel. And, if they add, we must be realistic, they mean they are going to make money out of it." - Brigid Brophy (1929- ) English-Irish writer, novelist, playwright
"I made the decision to quit show business. Give up the skintight dresses and manicured smiles. The false concern over sentimental lyrics. I would never again work to make people smile inanely and would take on the responsibility of making them think." - Maya Angelou (1928-) US actress, author "The Heart of a Woman," 1981
"Sentimentality -- that's what we call the sentiment we don't share." - Graham Greene
Shopping
"I take Him shopping with me.
I say, 'OK, Jesus, help me find a bargain'."
- Tammy Faye Bakker
"I'm shopping around for something to do
that no one will like."
- Jerry Garcia (1942-1995)
US musician, singer ('The Grateful Dead')
"I love to go shopping. I love to freak out salespeople.
They ask me if they can help me, and I say, 'Have you got
anything I'd like?' Then they ask me what size I need,
and I say, 'Extra medium.'"
- Steven Wright
"If men liked shopping, they'd call it research."
- Cynthia Nelms (1846-1911)
US social reformer
Silver
"Genius without education is like silver in the mine." - Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) US statesman, diplomat, inventor, printer
"When I sell liquor, it's called bootlegging; when my patrons serve it on silver trays on Lake Shore Drive, it's called hospitality." - Al Capone (1899-1947) US gangster
Silver
"Genius without education is like silver in the mine."
- Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)
US statesman, diplomat, inventor, printer
"Bell, book and candle shall not drive me back
When gold and silver becks me to come on."
- William Shakespeare (1564-1616)
English dramatist, poet
"King John," III. iii. (12).
"When I sell liquor, it's called bootlegging;
when my patrons serve it on silver trays on Lake Shore Drive,
it's called hospitality."
- Al Capone (1899-1947)
US gangster
"Every cloud has its silver lining but it is
sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint."
- Don Marquis (1878-1937)
US journalist, poet, dramatist, humorist
Simplicity
"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication."
Leonardo da Vinci
"To be simple is to be great."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Everything should be made as simple
as possible...but not simpler."
- Albert Einstein
"I have a simple philosophy.
Fill what's empty.
Empty what's full.
Scratch where it itches."
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth
Sleep
"No day is so bad it can't be fixed with a nap."
--Carrie Snow
"The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night's sleep"
--E. Joseph Cossman
"It is a common experience that a problem difficult at night is resolved in the morning after the committee of sleep has worked on it."
--John Steinbeck
Success
"I don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs
but how high he bounces when he hits bottom."
- General George S. Patton
"The first step toward success is taken when you refuse
to be a captive of the environment in which you first
find yourself."
- Mark Caine
"Success comes in cans, failure in can'ts."
- Unknown
"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence,
and then success is sure."
- Mark Twain
Summer
"The summer that I was ten -- Can it be there was only one summer that I was ten? It must have been a long one then .." - May Swenson (1919-) US poet "The Centaur," Sts. I & 2, "To Mix with Time," 1963.
"Summer is the time when one sheds one's tensions with one's clothes, and the right kind of day is jeweled balm for the battered spirit. A few of those days and you can become drunk with the belief that all's right with the world." - Ada Louise Huxtable (1921-) US critic, editor On vacationing in New England, in NY "Times," 29 Sep 77
"Summer set lip to earth's bosom bare And left the flushed print in a poppy there." - Francis Thompson (1859-1907) English poet "The Poppy."
"A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken." - James Dent (1834-1882) Scottish poet, essayist
Sports
“Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.”
--Drew `Bundini’ Brown
“You can’t think and hit at the same time.”
--Yogi Berra
“The bigger they come, the harder they fall.”
--Bob Fitzsimmons
Support
"It is probably not love that makes the world go around,
but rather those mutually supportive alliances through
which partners recognize their dependence on each other
for the achievement of shared and private goals."
- Fred Allen (1894-1956)
US comedian, vaudeville juggler
"The best way to inspire people to superior performance
is to convince them by everything you do and by your
everyday attitude that you are wholeheartedly supporting them."
- Harold S. Geneen
Former Chairman, IT&T
"If you tell the truth, you have infinite power supporting
you; but if not, you have infinite power against you."
- Charles Gordon
"If I can line up the people who, back through the ages,
have gone at life in ways I greatly admire, then I can
feel their strength supporting me, all their standards
and values pointing the way in which I am to go."
- Bonaro W. Overstreet
T
Taking chances
"I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it."
--Pablo Picasso
"I want to work with the top people, because only they have the courage and the confidence and the risk-seeking profile that you need."
--Laurel Cutler
"You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take."
-- Wayne Gretzky
Talent
"Talent develops in quiet places, character in the full
current of human life."
- Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
"Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to
follow the talent into the dark place where it leads."
- Erica Jong
"It takes little talent to see clearly what lies
under one's nose, a good deal of it to know in what direction
to point that organ."
- W. H. Auden
"I don't have a lot of respect for talent. Talent
is genetic. It's what you do with it that counts."
- Martin Ritt
Teachers
"Students rarely disappoint teachers who
assure them in advance that they are
doomed to failure."
- Sidney Hook
"Teachers can change lives with just the right
mix of chalk and challenges."
- Joyce A. Myers
"A teacher is the candle that lights others in
consuming itself."
- Giovanni Ruffini
"Good teachers are costly, but bad teachers cost more."
- Robert Talbert
"The dream begins with a teacher who believes
in you, who tugs and pushes and leads you to the
next plateau, sometimes poking you with a sharp
stick called 'truth.'"
- Dan Rather
"The teacher is one who makes two ideas grow
where only one grew before."
- Elbert Hubbard
"There are two kinds of teachers: the kind that fill
you with so much quail shot that you can't move, and
the kind that just gives you a little prod behind and
you jump to the skies."
- Robert Frost
"We expect teachers to handle teenage pregnancy,
substance abuse, and the failings of the family. Then
we expect them to educate our system."
- John Sculley
"I am not a teacher, but an awakener."
- Robert Frost
Team
"One man can be a crucial ingredient on a team, but
one man cannot make a team."
- Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, NBA Center
"If a team is to reach its potential,
each player must be willing to subordinate his personal goals
to the good of the team."
- Bud Wilkinson (1916-) US football coach
"Individual commitment to a group effort --
that is what makes a team work, a company work,
a society work, a civilization work."
- Vince Lombardi (1913-1970) US football coach
"We won! We won! We won! Um, unfortunately, I bet
on the other team, so we won't be going for pizza."
- Chief Clancy Wiggum (The Simpsons)
Television
"Imitation is the sincerest form of television."
- Fred Allen (1894-1956)
"I have come up with a sure-fire concept for a hit
television show, which would be called
`A Live Celebrity Gets Eaten by a Shark'."
- Dave Barry (The Wonders of Sharks on TV)
"Television is the first truly democratic culture,
the first culture available to everybody and entirely
governed by what the people want. the most terrifying
thing is what people do want."
- Clive Barnes
"Don't you ever, EVER talk that way about television."
- Homer Simpson
"I find television very educating. Every time somebody
turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."
- Groucho Marx (1895-1977)
Temper
"A tart temper never mellows with age,
and a sharp tongue is the only edged tool
that grows keener with constant use."
- Washington Irving
"Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host.
But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean."
- Maya Angelou
"Many people lose their tempers merely from seeing you
keep yours."
- Frank Moore Colby
"Barking dogs seldom bite."
- Proverb
Terrorism
One of the all-time best quotes
In a recent interview, General Norman Schwartzkopf
was asked whether there was any room for forgiveness
toward the people who have harboured and abetted the
terrorists who perpetrated the 11 Sept attacks on America.
His answer was classic. Schwartzkopf said, "I believe that forgiving
them is God's function. Our job is simply to arrange the meeting."
Truth
"Truth often suffers more by the heat of its defenders than from
the
arguments of its opposers."
~ William Penn
Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain
consciousness.
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was
being
ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."
~ Rodney Dangerfield.
U
Understand
"An anthill increases by accumulation. Medicine is consumed by distribution. That which is feared lessens by association. This is the thing to understand." - Siddha Nagarjuna (c. 100-200 AD) Indian-Tibetan religious leader
"All that science can achieve is a perfect knowledge and a perfect understanding of the action of natural and moral forces." - Hermann Helmholtz
"Anger and intolerance are the twin enemies of correct understanding." - Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948) Indian philosopher
"Between, our birth and death we may touch understanding As a moth brushes a window with its wing." - Christopher Fry (1907-) English dramatist, playwright
"A child of five would understand this. Send somebody to fetch a child of five." - Groucho Marx (1890-1977) US comedian; from the film "Duck Soup"
Unity
"No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of
the
continent."
- John Donne
Devotions, 1624
"Do not follow the ideas of others, but learn to listen to the
voice within yourself. Your body and mind will become clear and
you will realize the unity of all things."
- Dogen (1200-1253)
Japanese religious leader
"Nothing can be more absurd than the practice that prevails in
our
country of men and women not following the same pursuits with
all
their strengths and with one mind, for thus, the state instead
of
being whole is reduced to half."
- Plato
The Laws
"I take as my guide the hope of a saint:
in crucial things, unity. . . in important things, diversity. .
.
in all things, generosity."
- George Bush (1924)
US 41st president
Inaugural Address, 1989
United
9/11 remembered
"I know we're all going to die. There's three of us who are
going to do something about it. I love you, honey."
- Thomas Burnett, Jr.
told his wife over the phone from United Flight 93
"Everyone's running to first class. I've got to go. Bye."
- Sandy Bradshaw
United Flight Attendant
final words to her husband who she had called and
explained
that she had slipped into a galley and was filling
pitchers
with boiling water
"Are you guys ready? Let's roll"
- Todd Beamer
open line to operator from United Flight 93
V
Value
"The man who dares to waist one hour of time has not discovered
the value of life."
- Charles Darwin (1809-1882)
"Try not to become a man of success but rather to
become a man of value."
- Albert Einstein
"A people that values its privileges above its
principles soon loses both."
- Barr
"The intergenerational poverty that troubles us so much today is
predominantly a poverty of values."
5 x-Vice President Dan Quayle
Visiov
"The ability to think straight, some knowledge of the past,
some vision of the future, some skill to do useful service,
some urge to fit that service into the well-being of the
community - these are the most vital things education must try
to produce."
- Virginia Gildersleeve
"If we had a keen vision and feeling it would be like hearing
the grass grow and the squirrel's heart beat, and we should die
of the roar which lies on the other side of silence. As it is,
the quickest of us walk about well wadded with stupidity."
- George Eliot
"Strategic planning is worthless -- unless there is first a
strategic vision."
- John Naisbitt
"Champions aren't made in gyms.
Champions are made from something they have deep inside them-a
desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have the skill, and
the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill."
- Muhammad Ali
Volunteer
"If every American donated five hours a week, it would equal
the labor of 20 million full-time volunteers."
- Whoopi Goldberg (1949-)
US actress, comedienne
"The more you lose yourself in something bigger than yourself,
the more energy you will have."
- Norman Vincent Peale
"In the arena of human life the honors and rewards fall to those
who show their good qualities in action."
- Aristotle
"We make a living by what we get,
we make a life by what we give."
- Winston Churchill
W
Water
"Water, water, everywhere, And all the boards did shrink. Water, water everywhere, Nor any drop to drink." -Samuel Taylor Coleridge The Rime of the Ancient Mariner
"We never know the worth of water till the well is dry." - English Proverb
"I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it." - Steven Wright
Wildfire
"This is a monster. We inherited a monster...This is going to get big, it - Jim Paxon spokesman for the Forest Service on the Rodeo Fire near Show Low, Az 2002 (6/20)
"We've seen fires before, and we've seen the destruction they cause, but it really doesn't hit you until it's yours that gets it." - Shirley Wilson volunteer firefighter her home was in the Rodeo Fire's path (6/20)
"This fire won't be stopped until it runs out of fuel or it rains and it quenches it." - Jim Paxon spokesman for the Forest Service not the Rodeo-Chediski Fire near Show Low (6/23)
"I think we're going to be fighting this fire for at least a month..and that may be an optimistic viewpoint." - Larry Humphrey Fire Team Commander (6/23)
Work
"There's no labor a man can do that's undignified,
if he does it right."
- Bill Cosby
"Labor disgraces no man; unfortunately, you occasionally
find men who disgrace labor."
- Ulysses S. Grant
"Hard work spotlights the character of people: some
turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and
some don't turn up at all."
- Sam Ewig
"In a 'USA Today' interview, Vanna White said since her son
has been born, she wants to work less. Vanna, you turn
*tiles* for a living. If you worked any less, you'd be
the triangle player in the 'K.C. and the Sunshine Band.'"
- Dennis Miller
World
"The problems that exist in the world today cannot be solved by
the level of thinking that created them."
- Albert Einstein
"Following the light of the sun, we left the Old World."
- Christopher Columbus
This offer is only for a few of you eccentrics who think like
us. When we
bought our home we wanted to fill it with really nice antique
style pieces,
stuff that makes a house a home. The one thing we had trouble
finding was
a really cool Antique style Globe. Well we finally found a great
Globe
dealer, and after chatting with them, we told them about our
members, and
they gave us a super discount for anyone that's interested.
These price's
are guaranteed for right now only, we're told they run out every
year
around the fall season. So don't get upset with us if you see
the price
jump up in the future, this deal is guaranteed for right now
only.
<a href=" http://www.trustydeals.com/gifts/globe/ ">click
here</a>
"We are told never to cross a bridge until we come to it, but
this world is owned by men who have 'crossed bridges' in
their imagination far ahead of the crowd."
- Unknown
"The world needs anger. The world often continues to allow
evil because it isn't angry enough."
- Bede Jarrett, The House of Gold
"If you want to see the sun shine, you have to weather the storm."
~ Frank Lane
"When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving."
~ Steven Wright
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
For four-fifths of our history, our planet was populated by pond scum.
J.W. Schopf
"Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."
~ Albert Einstein
"When one burns one's bridges, what a very nice fire it makes."
~ Dylan Thomas
"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."
~ Winston Churchill
"I don't intend for this to take on a political tone. I'm just here for the drugs."
~ Nancy Reagan, former First Lady
"Knowledge is the power of the mind, wisdom is the power of the soul."
~ Julie Shannahan
"Most people are so lazy, that they don't even exercise good judgment!"
"Some people work up steam and some only generate a fog."
"Some people have more problems than an arithmetic book."
"Friends and wine should be old."
~ Spanish proverb
"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
~ Ann Landers
"I'm not schizophrenic. You only think we are."
"My cuckoo clock is broken... All it does is come out and shrug."
"When you cannot make up your mind between two evenly balanced courses of action, choose the bolder."
~ W.J. Slim
Finally, we've learned why Webster compiled the dictionary. Every morning at breakfast, he'd sit down and talk to the wife for a few minutes. As soon as he said something, she'd say, "Now what's that supposed to mean?"
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
"Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger."
~ Franklin P. Jones
"Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny."
~ Jack Handey's Deep Thoughts
"Never tell your mom her diet's not working."
~ Joel, age 14 from "Advice from Kids"
"A horse may be coaxed to drink, but a pencil must be lead."
~ Stan Laurel
"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
~ Roseanne
"Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the United States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the 9 millimeter bullet."
~ Dave Barry
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with something bigger and heavier.
~ Anonymous
Never accept a drink from a urologist.
~ Erma Bombeck
Never say anything on the phone that you wouldn't want your mother to hear at your trial.
~ Sydney Biddle Barrows, the "Mayflower Madam"
Never say "Oops" in the operating room.
~ Dr. Leo Troy
Never wear a backward baseball cap to an interview unless applying for the job of umpire.
~ Dan Zevin
Never kick a fresh cow pie on a hot day.
~ Harry S. Truman
Never drive through a small Southern town at 100mph with the local sheriff's 16-year-old daughter on your lap.
~ Anonymous member of a chain gang
Never use while sleeping.
~ Instruction on Conair hair dryer
Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.
~ Winston Churchill
Never stand between a dog and the hydrant.
~ John Peers
Never pick a fight with anyone who buys ink by the barrel.
~ American adage about newspaper editors.
Never criticize a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes. That way, if he doesn't like what you have to say, it'll be OK because you'll be a mile way and you'll have his shoes.
Never use your thumb for a rule. You'll either hit it with a hammer or get a splinter in it.
~ Uncle Ed's Rule of Thumb
"I often regret that I have spoken; never that I have been silent."
~ Publilius Syrus
"It is now proved beyond doubt that smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics."
"I'm convinced God put me here to accomplish a certain number of things; right now, I'm so far behind I'll never die!"
``Ever notice that `What the hell' is always the right decision?'' _ Marilyn Monroe
"With each sunrise, we start anew."
~ Anon
"Anyone can have an off decade."
~ Larry Cole
"I can't say I was ever lost, but I was bewildered once for three days."
~ Daniel Boone
``A fool and his money were lucky to get together in the first place.'' _ Harry Anderson
- ``Then the insurance man told me that the accident policy covered falling off the roof but not hitting the ground.'' _ Tommy Cooper
"Every night I tell myself, 'I'm going to dream about my girl, I'm going to dream about my girl.' But it's always ham hocks."
~ 320 pound NFL player Nate Newton
"I like to pick up hitchhikers. When they get in the car I say, 'Put on your seat belt. I want to try something. I saw it once in a cartoon, but I think I can do it.'"
~ Steven Wright
"To err is human. To really foul things up requires a computer."
~ Philip Howard
"You usually know who's going to win pro-wrestling--the guy with the best nickname. Here, from Philadelphia, comes the iron man, Mike 'The Hammer' Armstrong, and his opponent, all the way from Scranton...Eugene!"
~ Dan Wilson
"I hate the expression 'A friend is a present you give yourself.' Gag. A case of Heineken is a present you give yourself. A friend is somebody you don't have to talk to once there's food on the table."
~ Sabrina Matthews
"Sometimes I feel discriminated against, but it doesn't make me angry. It merely astonishes me. How can any deny themselves the pleasure of my company? It's beyond me."
~ Zora Neale Hurston, U.S. novelist
"Decision is a sharp knife that cuts clean and straight; indecision is a dull one that hacks & tears, leaving ragged edges behind it."
~ Unknown
"Think you can, think you can't; either way, you'll be right."
-- Henry Ford
Fortune and love befriend the bold.
-- Ovid
"When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you."
--African Proverb
"Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us worthy evidence of the fact."
---George Eliot
"Don't let anyone steal your dreams!"
--Brian Cavanough
This sign was placed in our office:
"All People Bring Joy To This Office, Some When They Enter, Some When They Leave!"
~Submitted by Kenneth S.
"To achieve anything, you must be prepared to dabble on the boundary of disaster."
~ Stirling Moss
"The "C" students run the world."
~ Harry S. Truman
The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office."
-- Robert Frost
"The baby is great. My wife and I have just started potty training. Which I think is important, because when we want to potty-train the baby we should set a good example."
--Howie Mandel
"Experts say in order to avoid anthrax that you should stay away from diseased livestock. Well, there goes my weekend!"
-- Jay Leno
The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
-- Helen Hayes (at 73)
"Mattel is releasing a new "Teacher" Barbie next week. Apparently, it's just like Malibu Barbie--only she can't afford the Corvette."
--Stephanie Miller
"The only reason I would take up jogging is so I could hear heavy breathing again."
-- Erma Bombeck
"A person who has not done one half his day's work by ten o'clock, runs a chance of leaving the other half undone."
~ Emily Bronte
If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that.
"Seeing yourself as you want to be is the key to personal growth."
--Anon.
"Trust that still, small voice that says, 'This might work and I'll try it.'" --Diane Mariechild
"Patience is the companion of wisdom."
--St. Augustine
"Never does the human soul appear so strong as when it forgoes revenge, and dares forgive an injury." --E.H. Chapin
"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." --Mahatma Gandhi
"Revenge has no more quenching effect on emotions than salt water has on thirst." -- Walter Weckler
"Necessity is the mother of taking chances."
-- Mark Twain
"A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time--pills or stairs."
--Joan Welsh
"Few of us have lost our minds, but most of us have long ago lost our bodies."
--Ken Wilbur
"It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver."
--Gandhi
"In the middle of a difficulty lies opportunity."
--Albert Einstein
"How far that little candle throws his beams! So shines a good deed in a weary world."
--Shakespeare
"No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave."
--Calvin Coolidge
"We are all born originals - why is it so many of us die copies?"
--Edward Young
"When I say I, I mean a thing absolutely unique, not to be confused with any other."
--Ugo Betti
"To be nobody but yourself in a world that's doing its best to make you somebody else, is to fight the hardest battle you are ever going to fight. Never stop fighting."
--e. e. cummings
"Look at life through the windshield, not the rear-view mirror."
--Byrd Baggett
Always do right; this will gratify some and astonish the rest."
--Mark Twain
"There are two kinds of people, those who do the work and those who take the credit. Try to be in the first group; there is less competition there."
--Indira Gandhi
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right--for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't."
--Eleanor Roosevelt
"If you treat people right they will treat you right ... ninety percent of the time."
--Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Don't be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
"We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance."
--Harrison Ford
"If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change."
--John A. Simone
"The status quo sucks."
--George Carlin
"There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action." Johann von Goethe
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing." Emo Philips
"Never Trust a computer you can't throw out a window" Steve Wozniak
"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next."
--Gilda Radner
"Be pleasant until ten o'clock in the morning and the rest of the day will take care of itself."
--Elbert Hubbard
"Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted."
--John Lennon
"Many an opportunity is lost because a man is out looking for four-leaf clovers."
--Anon.
"Luck is the by-product of busting your fanny."
--Don Sutton
"Luck is what you have left over after you give 100 percent."
--Langston Coleman
"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life." Terry Pratchett.
"For those who understand no explanation is needed, ...For those who don't none will do". Jerry Lewis
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. " Lily Tomlin
"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter." e.e. cummings
"Sometimes when I get up in the morning, I feel very peculiar.
I feel like I've just got to bite a cat! I feel like if
I don't bite a cat before sundown, I'll go crazy! But
then I just take a deep breath and forget about it.
That's what is known as real maturity."
- Snoopy
"No, no," said the Queen. "Sentence first, verdict afterwards."
-Lewis Carroll
“To create a new standard, it takes something that’s not just a little bit different, it takes something that’s really new and really captures people’s imagination and the Macintosh, of all the machines I’ve ever seen, is the only one that meets that standard.” — Bill Gates
"To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life."
--Robert Louis Stevenson
"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough."
--Mae West
"The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time."
--Jack London
"Good advice is never as helpful as an interest-free loan."
--Mason Cooley
"There is nothing more hateful than bad advice."
--Sophocles
"Ask for advice, then use your head."
--Norwegian Proverb
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."
-- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
"No one ever gets far unless he accomplishes the impossible at least once a day."
--Elbert Hubbard
"The first rule of tinkering is to save all the parts."
--Paul Erlich
"The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder." Alfred Hitchcock
"Never judge a book by its movie" J.W. Eagan
"Mike, can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?" Michaelangelo's mother
More quotes
"If you want to see the sun shine, you have to weather the storm."
~ Frank Lane
"When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving."
~ Steven Wright
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
For four-fifths of our history, our planet was populated by pond scum.
J.W. Schopf
"Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."
~ Albert Einstein
"When one burns one's bridges, what a very nice fire it makes."
~ Dylan Thomas
"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."
~ Winston Churchill
"I don't intend for this to take on a political tone. I'm just here for the drugs."
~ Nancy Reagan, former First Lady
"Knowledge is the power of the mind, wisdom is the power of the soul."
~ Julie Shannahan
"Most people are so lazy, that they don't even exercise good judgment!"
"Some people work up steam and some only generate a fog."
"Some people have more problems than an arithmetic book."
"Friends and wine should be old."
~ Spanish proverb
"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
~ Ann Landers
"I'm not schizophrenic. You only think we are."
"My cuckoo clock is broken... All it does is come out and shrug."
"When you cannot make up your mind between two evenly balanced courses of action, choose the bolder."
~ W.J. Slim
Finally, we've learned why Webster compiled the dictionary. Every morning at breakfast, he'd sit down and talk to the wife for a few minutes. As soon as he said something, she'd say, "Now what's that supposed to mean?"
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
"Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger."
~ Franklin P. Jones
"Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny."
~ Jack Handey's Deep Thoughts
"Never tell your mom her diet's not working."
~ Joel, age 14 from "Advice from Kids"
"A horse may be coaxed to drink, but a pencil must be lead."
~ Stan Laurel
"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
~ Roseanne
"Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the United States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the 9 millimeter bullet."
~ Dave Barry
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with something bigger and heavier.
~ Anonymous
Never accept a drink from a urologist.
~ Erma Bombeck
Never say anything on the phone that you wouldn't want your mother to hear at your trial.
~ Sydney Biddle Barrows, the "Mayflower Madam"
Never say "Oops" in the operating room.
~ Dr. Leo Troy
Never wear a backward baseball cap to an interview unless applying for the job of umpire.
~ Dan Zevin
Never kick a fresh cow pie on a hot day.
~ Harry S. Truman
Never drive through a small Southern town at 100mph with the local sheriff's 16-year-old daughter on your lap.
~ Anonymous member of a chain gang
Never use while sleeping.
~ Instruction on Conair hair dryer
Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.
~ Winston Churchill
Never stand between a dog and the hydrant.
~ John Peers
Never pick a fight with anyone who buys ink by the barrel.
~ American adage about newspaper editors.
Never criticize a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes. That way, if he doesn't like what you have to say, it'll be OK because you'll be a mile way and you'll have his shoes.
Never use your thumb for a rule. You'll either hit it with a hammer or get a splinter in it.
~ Uncle Ed's Rule of Thumb
"I often regret that I have spoken; never that I have been silent."
~ Publilius Syrus
"It is now proved beyond doubt that smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics."
"I'm convinced God put me here to accomplish a certain number of things; right now, I'm so far behind I'll never die!"
``Ever notice that `What the hell' is always the right decision?'' _ Marilyn Monroe
"With each sunrise, we start anew."
~ Anon
"Anyone can have an off decade."
~ Larry Cole
"I can't say I was ever lost, but I was bewildered once for three days."
~ Daniel Boone
``A fool and his money were lucky to get together in the first place.'' _ Harry Anderson
- ``Then the insurance man told me that the accident policy covered falling off the roof but not hitting the ground.'' _ Tommy Cooper
"Every night I tell myself, 'I'm going to dream about my girl, I'm going to dream about my girl.' But it's always ham hocks."
~ 320 pound NFL player Nate Newton
"I like to pick up hitchhikers. When they get in the car I say, 'Put on your seat belt. I want to try something. I saw it once in a cartoon, but I think I can do it.'"
~ Steven Wright
"To err is human. To really foul things up requires a computer."
~ Philip Howard
"You usually know who's going to win pro-wrestling--the guy with the best nickname. Here, from Philadelphia, comes the iron man, Mike 'The Hammer' Armstrong, and his opponent, all the way from Scranton...Eugene!"
~ Dan Wilson
"I hate the expression 'A friend is a present you give yourself.' Gag. A case of Heineken is a present you give yourself. A friend is somebody you don't have to talk to once there's food on the table."
~ Sabrina Matthews
"Sometimes I feel discriminated against, but it doesn't make me angry. It merely astonishes me. How can any deny themselves the pleasure of my company? It's beyond me."
~ Zora Neale Hurston, U.S. novelist
"Decision is a sharp knife that cuts clean and straight; indecision is a dull one that hacks & tears, leaving ragged edges behind it."
~ Unknown
"Think you can, think you can't; either way, you'll be right."
-- Henry Ford
Fortune and love befriend the bold.
-- Ovid
"When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you."
--African Proverb
"Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us worthy evidence of the fact."
---George Eliot
"Don't let anyone steal your dreams!"
--Brian Cavanough
This sign was placed in our office:
"All People Bring Joy To This Office, Some When They Enter, Some When They Leave!"
~Submitted by Kenneth S.
"To achieve anything, you must be prepared to dabble on the boundary of disaster."
~ Stirling Moss
"The "C" students run the world."
~ Harry S. Truman
The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office."
-- Robert Frost
"The baby is great. My wife and I have just started potty training. Which I think is important, because when we want to potty-train the baby we should set a good example."
--Howie Mandel
"Experts say in order to avoid anthrax that you should stay away from diseased livestock. Well, there goes my weekend!"
-- Jay Leno
The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
-- Helen Hayes (at 73)
"Mattel is releasing a new "Teacher" Barbie next week. Apparently, it's just like Malibu Barbie--only she can't afford the Corvette."
--Stephanie Miller
"The only reason I would take up jogging is so I could hear heavy breathing again."
-- Erma Bombeck
"A person who has not done one half his day's work by ten o'clock, runs a chance of leaving the other half undone."
~ Emily Bronte
If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that.
"Seeing yourself as you want to be is the key to personal growth."
--Anon.
"Trust that still, small voice that says, 'This might work and I'll try it.'" --Diane Mariechild
"Patience is the companion of wisdom."
--St. Augustine
"Never does the human soul appear so strong as when it forgoes revenge, and dares forgive an injury." --E.H. Chapin
"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." --Mahatma Gandhi
"Revenge has no more quenching effect on emotions than salt water has on thirst." -- Walter Weckler
"Necessity is the mother of taking chances."
-- Mark Twain
"A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time--pills or stairs."
--Joan Welsh
"Few of us have lost our minds, but most of us have long ago lost our bodies."
--Ken Wilbur
"It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver."
--Gandhi
"In the middle of a difficulty lies opportunity."
--Albert Einstein
"How far that little candle throws his beams! So shines a good deed in a weary world."
--Shakespeare
"No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave."
--Calvin Coolidge
"We are all born originals - why is it so many of us die copies?"
--Edward Young
"When I say I, I mean a thing absolutely unique, not to be confused with any other."
--Ugo Betti
"To be nobody but yourself in a world that's doing its best to make you somebody else, is to fight the hardest battle you are ever going to fight. Never stop fighting."
--e. e. cummings
"Look at life through the windshield, not the rear-view mirror."
--Byrd Baggett
Always do right; this will gratify some and astonish the rest."
--Mark Twain
"There are two kinds of people, those who do the work and those who take the credit. Try to be in the first group; there is less competition there."
--Indira Gandhi
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right--for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't."
--Eleanor Roosevelt
"If you treat people right they will treat you right ... ninety percent of the time."
--Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Don't be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
"We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance."
--Harrison Ford
"If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change."
--John A. Simone
"The status quo sucks."
--George Carlin
"There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action." Johann von Goethe
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing." Emo Philips
"Never Trust a computer you can't throw out a window" Steve Wozniak
"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next."
--Gilda Radner
"Be pleasant until ten o'clock in the morning and the rest of the day will take care of itself."
--Elbert Hubbard
"Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted."
--John Lennon
"Many an opportunity is lost because a man is out looking for four-leaf clovers."
--Anon.
"Luck is the by-product of busting your fanny."
--Don Sutton
"Luck is what you have left over after you give 100 percent."
--Langston Coleman
"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life." Terry Pratchett.
"For those who understand no explanation is needed, ...For those who don't none will do". Jerry Lewis
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. " Lily Tomlin
"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter." e.e. cummings
"Sometimes when I get up in the morning, I feel very peculiar.
I feel like I've just got to bite a cat! I feel like if
I don't bite a cat before sundown, I'll go crazy! But
then I just take a deep breath and forget about it.
That's what is known as real maturity."
- Snoopy
"No, no," said the Queen. "Sentence first, verdict afterwards."
-Lewis Carroll
“To create a new standard, it takes something that’s not just a little bit different, it takes something that’s really new and really captures people’s imagination and the Macintosh, of all the machines I’ve ever seen, is the only one that meets that standard.” — Bill Gates
"To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life."
--Robert Louis Stevenson
"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough."
--Mae West
"The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time."
--Jack London
"Good advice is never as helpful as an interest-free loan."
--Mason Cooley
"There is nothing more hateful than bad advice."
--Sophocles
"Ask for advice, then use your head."
--Norwegian Proverb
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."
-- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
"No one ever gets far unless he accomplishes the impossible at least once a day."
--Elbert Hubbard
"The first rule of tinkering is to save all the parts."
--Paul Erlich
"The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder." Alfred Hitchcock
"Never judge a book by its movie" J.W. Eagan
"Mike, can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?" Michaelangelo's mother
"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight." Phyllis Diller
"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you undedrneath. at night, the icee weasels come." Matt Groening
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
If you’re not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he’s the guy who once said: "I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen...and replaced by exact duplicates.”
Here are some more of his gems:
I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Borrow money from pessimists – they don’t expect it back.
Half the people you know are below average.
99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.
All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
I intend to live forever – so far, so good.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
My mechanic told me, “I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.
The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don’t have film.
"Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use."
--Wendell Johnson
"Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting."
--Elizabeth Bibesco
"The words you choose to say something are just as important as the decision to speak."
--Anon.
"It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what other men say in whole books--what other men do not say in whole books."
--Friedrich Nietzsche
"I tell you everything that is really nothing, and nothing of what is everything, do not be fooled by what I am saying. Please listen carefully and try to hear what I am not saying."
--Charles C. Finn
"I never learned from a man who agreed with me."
--Robert A. Heinlein
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age. (Lucille Ball)
There are three ages of man - youth, age, and `you`re looking wonderful.` (Francis Spellman)
I don`t feel old - I don`t feel anything until noon. Then it`s time for my nap. (Bob Hope)
I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position. (Mark Twain)
Children nowadays are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannise their teachers. (Socrates)
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. (Mark Twain)
"There is almost no joke you can tell that does not offend someone. I give permission to tell old, fat, bald guy jokes." James M.
"It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor." Max Eastman
"You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation." Plato
"I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters." Frank Lloyd Wright
"People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use." Søren Kierkegaard
"I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed." James Thurber
...this is an appeal for good, effective methods of freshening up the brain that don't involve actual cranial surgery. Hangover cures, please, therefore, to www.h2g2.com. And may the next thousand years be especially good ones for you and your decendants.
--Douglas Adams, The Independant on Sunday, December 1999. Reprinted in The Salmon of Doubt
"A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone
believes that he has got the biggest piece."
Ludwig Erhard
The more I traveled the more I realized that fear makes strangers of people
who should be friends.
Shirley MacLaine
"Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do."
John Wooden
"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats."
- Albert Schweitzer
"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
- Ben Williams
"In a cat`s eye, all things belong to cats."
- English proverb
"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."
- Rita Rudner
"Cat`s Motto: No matter what you`ve done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it."
- Unknown
"Dogs come when they`re called; cats take a message and get back to you later."
- Mary Bly
"In order to keep a true perspective of one`s importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him."
- Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan
"I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I
said, 'Thyroid problem?'" - Arnold Schwarzenegger
"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on
society." --Mark Twain
"Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the
music". - George Carlin
"I'd love to be a pop idol. Of course, my groupies are now between 40
and 50."- Kevin Bacon
"That's the trouble with being me. At this point, nobody gives a damn
what my problem is. I could literally have a tumor on the side of my
head and they'd be like, 'Yeah, big deal. I'd eat a tumor every morning
for the kinda money you're pulling down."-- Jim Carrey
"Run for office? No. I've slept with too many women, I've done too many
drugs, and I've been to too many parties."- George Clooney (What?
Clinton got re-elected for worse than that!)
"I feel safe in white because, deep down inside, I'm an angel." - P-
Diddy (That's why he pulls armed robberies, then, is it?)
"We don't have a host and it's hard to vote yourself off the island
when you're the only one on it." [comparing Cast Away to Survivor] --
Tom Hanks
"I want to rip out his heart and feed it to him. I want to kill people.
I want to rip their stomachs out and eat their children." [on Lennox
Lewis] -- Mike Tyson (What a nice fellow.)
"I want a sandwich named after me." -- Jon Stewart
"I'm just like anyone. I cut and I bleed. And I embarass easily."-
Michael Jackson (Mate, you wear a nappy, a surgeon's mask, and you took
a monkey to the Grammies!)
By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only
have to remember it. --George Burns
Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted. --John Lennon (Amen, brother)
If you suck on a tit the movie gets an R rating. If you hack the tit
off with an axe it will be PG. --Jack Nicholson
Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money. --Robin
Williams
What luck for rulers that men do not think. -- Adolf Hitler (Or John
Howard?)
It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat
people up.
-- Muhammad Ali
You have to be a bastard to make it, and that's a fact. And the Beatles
are the biggest bastards on earth.
- - -John Lennon
love New York City; I've got a gun.
- - Charles Barkley
want a man who's kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a
millionaire?
- - Zsa Zsa Gabor
With all due respect to the world's great drummers - it ain't brain
surgery.
- - Mickey Dolenz, 1996 (As a drummer, that comforts me.)
I don't listen to music. I hate all music.
- - Johnny Rotten (Sex Pistols) (and it showed.)
Comparing Madonna with Marilyn Monroe is like comparing Rachel Welch to
the back of a bus. .
- - Boy George
Boy George makes me sick. .
- - Madonna
"My audience loves to see Britney get her head cut off.".
- - Alice Cooper (How can I buy tickets for that?)
"Man is never helped in his suffering by what he thinks for himself, but only by revelation of a wisdom greater than his own. It is this which lifts him out of his distress." Carl Jung (1875-1961)
"These are only hints and guesses, hints followed by guesses, and the rest is prayer, observance, discipline, thought and action." ----T.S. Eliot
"The great dividing line between success and failure can be expressed in five words, 'I did not have time.'" - Robert J. Hastings
Nothing is exciting if you know what the outcome is going to be.
- Joseph Campbell
Follow your bliss.
- Joseph Campbell
The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.
- Joseph Campbell
A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something.
- Frank Capra
Flaming enthusiasm, backed by horse sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success.
- Dale Carnegie
Whenever man comes up with a better mousetrap, nature immediately comes up with a better mouse.
- James Carswell
No matter how old you get, if you can keep the desire to be creative, you're keeping the man-child alive.
- John Cassavetes
An original writer is not one who imitates nobody, but one whom nobody can imitate.
- Francois Rene Chateaubriand
One sees great things from the valley, only small things from the peak.
- G. K. Chesterton
When the way comes to an end, then change - having changed, you pass through.
- I Ching
I am easily satisfied with the best.
-Winston Churchill
No idea is so outlandish that it should not be considered with a searching but at the same time steady eye.
- Winston Churchill
True genius resides in the capacity for evaluation of uncertain, hazardous, and conflicting information.
- Winston Churchill
Success is never final, failure is never fatal, it's courage that counts.
- Winston Churchill
Great opportunity is usually disguised as unsolvable problems.
- Gretchen G. Clement.
Creativity is the process of discovering something you did not start out with.
- Collingwood
Music is the art of thinking with sounds.
- Jules Combarie
Four dimensions of creativity: creation, productivity, originality, and expressiveness. The courage to take risks and persistence are the key characteristics of the creative person. The other characteristics are repeated patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving
- from Eli Lilly and Company
We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. (Response to the music of "The Beatles" in 1962)
- Decca Recording Company
Tell me and I'll forget. Show me and I'll remember. Involve me and I'll understand.
- Confucius
Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men without talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
- Calvin Coolidge
Even the woodpecker owes his success to the fact that he uses his head and keeps pecking away until he finished the job he started.
- Coleman Cox
No one travels so high as he who knows not where he is going.
- Oliver Cromwell
There's as much risk in doing nothing as in doing something.
- Trammell Crow
Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood.
- Madame Curie
Do not fear mistakes. There are none.
- Miles Davis
What moves men of genius, or rather what inspires their work, is not new ideas, but their obsession with the idea that what has already been said is still not enough.
- Eugene Delacroix
When asked what single event was most helpful in developing the Theory of Relativity, Albert Einstein replied, "Figuring out how to think about the problem".
- W. Edwards Deming
Two basic rules of life are:
1) Change is inevitable
2) Everybody resists change.
- W. Edwards Deming
Knowledge needs to be a verb.
- W. Edwards Denning
A problem well-stated is a problem half-solved.
- John Dewey
The whole difference between construction and creation is exactly this: that a thing constructed can only be loved after it is constructed; but a thing created is loved before it exists.
- Charles Dickens
Write as if you are dying.
- Annie Dillard
Creativity is the ability to see relationships where none exist.
- Thomas Disch
The best way to predict the future is to create it
- Peter Drucker
Genius is (1%) one percent inspiration, and (99%) ninety-nine percent perspiration.
- Thomas Edison
I'll try anything...I'll even try Limburger cheese!
- Thomas Edison
Everything comes to him who hustles while he waits
- Thomas Edison
There's a way to do it better...find it
- Thomas Edison
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and it looks like work.
- Thomas Edison
Nearly every man who develops an idea works it up to the point where it looks impossible, and then he gets discouraged. That's not the place to become discouraged.
- Thomas Edison
The most beautiful and profound emotion we can experience is the sensation of the mystical. It is the sower of all true science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer wonder and stand rapt in awe, is good as dead.
- Albert Einstein
If we knew what we were doing, it would not be called research would it?
- Albert Einstein
The world we have made as a result of the level of thinking we have done thus far creates problems we cannot solve at the same level of thinking at which we created them.
- Albert Einstein
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by the age of eighteen.
- Albert Einstein
The mere formulation of a problem is far more often essential than its solution, which may be merely a matter of mathematical or experimental skill. To raise new questions, new possibilities, to regard old problems from a new angle requires creative imagination and marks real advances in science.
- Albert Einstein
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds
- Albert Einstein
1. Out of clutter, find simplicity.
2. From discord, find harmony.
3. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity
(Three rules of work)
- Albert Einstein
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.
- Albert Einstein
The only sure way to avoid making mistakes is to have no new ideas.
- Albert Einstein
Imagination is more important than knowledge
- Albert Einstein
Ideas must work through the brains and the arms of good and brave men, or they are no better than dreams.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters comapred to what lies within us
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Do that which you fear to do, and the fear will die.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Whether you believe you can, or whether you believe you can't, you're absolutely right.
- Henry Ford
The more you think, the more time you have.
- Henry Ford
Indecision is often worse than wrong action.
- Gerald Ford
In the creative state a man is taken out of himself. He lets down as it were a bucket into his subconscious, and draws up something which is normally beyond his reach. He mixes this thing with his normal experiences and out of the mixture he makes a work of art.
- E. M. Forster
Simplicity, carried to an extreme, becomes elegant.
- Jon Franklin
Between stimulus and response is the freedom to choose.
- Viktor Frankyl
To take the difficulties, setback and sorrows of life as a challenge which to overcome makes us stronger rather than unjust punishment which should not happen to us requires faith and courage
- Erich Fromm
Inventions have long since reached their limit, and I see no hope for further development.
- Julius Sextus Frontinus
Ideas are easy to come by; reduction to practice is an arduous but inspirationally rewarding matter.
- Buckminster Fuller
It is not how smart you are; but how you are smart
- Howard Gardner
640K [memory] ought to be enough for anybody
- 1981: Bill Gates
I shut my eyes in order to see.
- Paul Gauguin
One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andr'e Gide
Persistance is the hard work that you do after you are tired of doing the hard work you already did.
- Newt Gingrich
It's not where we stand but in what direction we are moving.
- Goethe
Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.
- Goethe
No one ever achieved greatness by playing it safe.
- Harry Gray
To live is to have problems and to solve problems is to grow intellectually
- J. P. Guilford
It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.
- Ursula K. Le Guin
In a study of 2,036 scientists throughout history, Simonton found that the most respected produced not only more great works, but also more "bad" ones. They produced. Period.
- Doug Hall
You lose it if you talk about it.
- Ernest Hemingway
If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.
- Katherine Hepburn
There is nothing permanent except change (450 BC)
- Heraclitus
One cannot step twice into the same river.
- Heraclitus
It's the job of a manager not to light the fire of motivation, but to create an environment to let each person's personal spark of motivation blaze.
- Frederick Herzberg
Man's mind stretched to a new idea, never goes back to its original dimensions.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes
To me, success can be achieved only through repeated failure and introspection. In fact, success represents 1 percent of your work and results from the 99 percent that is called failure.
- Soichiro Honda
A ship in port is safe, but that's not what ships are built for.
- Grace Hopper
No amount of skillful invention can replace the essential element of imagination.
- Edward Hopper
The future has many names: For the weak, it means the unattainable. For the fearful, it means the unknown. For the courageous, it means opportunity.
- Victor Hugo
We are continually faced by great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems.
- Lee Iacocca
What is originality? Undetected plagiarism.
- Dean William R. Inge
The art of becoming wise is the art of knowing where to overlook.
- William James
In the dim background of mind we know what we ought to be doing but somehow we cannot start.
- William James
Genius, in truth, means little more than the faculty of perceiving in an unhabitual way.
- William James
Inventions become perfect by slow improvement, and each step is itself an invention.
- Joseph Jastrow
Men as well as rivers grow crooked by following the path of least resistance.
- Thomas Jefferson
You cannot mandate productivity, you must provide the tools to let people become their best.
- Steve Jobs
It's simple, you just take something and do something to it, and then do something else to it. Keep doing this, and pretty soon you've got something.
- Jasper Johns
Curiosity is one of the most permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous mind.
- Samuel Johnson
A man's errors are his portals of discovery.
- James Joyce
A person needs a little madness, or else they never dare cut the rope and be free.
- Nikos Kazantzakis
Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, not do the chiuldren of humankind as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outight exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or it is nothing at all.
- Helen Keller
When written in Chinese, the word crisis is composed of two characters. One represents danger, and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy
A lot of disappointed people have been left standing on the street corner waiting for the bus marked Perfection.
- Donald Kennedy
The world hates change yet it is the only thing that has brought progress
- Charles Kettering
If you want to kill any idea in the world, get a committee working on it.
- Charles Kettering
Every time you tear a leaf off a calendar, you present a new place for new ideas and progress.
- Charles Kettering
My interest is in the future, because I'm going to spend the rest of my life there.
- Charles Kettering
Creative activity could be described as a type of learning process where teacher and pupil are located in the same individual.
- Arthur Koestler
If the Creator had a purpose in equipping us with a neck, he surely would have meant for us to stick it out.
- Arthur Koestler
The map is not the territory
- Alfred Korzbyski
Any problem can be solved as long as it is stated properly.
- Dr Edwin Land
An essential aspect of creativity is not being afraid to fail.
- Dr. Edwin Land
A tree that can fill the span of a man's arms grows from a downy tip; A terrace nine stories high rises from handfuls of earth; A journey of a thousand miles starts from beneath one's feet.
- Lao-Tzu
Where do you get your ideas? has always been the question I'm most often confronted with. (Why do you get your ideas? is a close second). I don't know where my ideas come from....however...one key ingredient is caffeine. I get a couple of cups of coffee into me and things just start to happen.
- Gary Larson
The idea for any cartoon (my experience, anyway) is rarely spontaneous. Good ideas usually evolve out of pretty lame ones, and vice versa.
- Gary Larson
The difference between the impossible and possible lies in a person's determination.
- Tommy Lasorda
The US patent system adds the fuel of interest to the fire of genius in the discovery and production of new and useful things
- Abraham Lincoln
Creativity can solve almost any problem. The creative act, the defeat of habit by originality, overcomes everything.
- George Lois
Perfection is not attainable. But if we chase perfection, we can catch excellence.
- Vince Lombardi
In creating, the only hard thing's to begin; A grass-blade's no easier to make than an oak.
- James Russell Lowell
It seems that the creative faculty and the critical faculty cannot exist together in their highest perfection.
- Thomas Macaulay I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on, I go into another room and read a good book.
- Groucho Marx
Imagination grows by exercise, and contrary to common belief, is more powerful in the mature than in the young.
- W. Somerset Maugham
The obvious is always least understood
- Prince Metternich
One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.
- A. A. Milne
Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that's creativity.
- Charles Mingus
The first word gives origin to the second, the first and second to the third, and the third to the fourth, and so on. You cannot begin with the second word...
- N. Scott Momaday I waited for the idea to consolidate, for the grouping and composition of themes to settle themselves in my brain. When I felt I held enough cards I determined to pass to action, and did so.
- Claude Monet
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.
- Hannah More
I never stop studying. There's always lots to learn. When you stop learning, that's about the end of you.
- John Morton-Finney
It's not enought to visualise a positive result; it's much better to plan how you're going to get there.
- Shane Murphy
To be a man of knowledge one needs to be light and fluid.
- Yaqui Mystic
If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.
- Isaac Newton
One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Ideas are elusive, slippery things. Best to keep a pad of paper and a pencil at your bedside, so you can stab them during the night before they get away.
- Earl Nightingale
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
- Anais Nin
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.
- Anais Nin
Open your mind up to things that have no connection with the problem you're trying to solve: subscribe to an unusual magazine; spend a morning at an elementary school; go to work two hours early; test drive an exotic car; attend a city council meeting;...try an Indonesian recipe.
- Roger von Oech
Something is wrong if workers do not look around each day, find things that are tedious or boring, and then rewrite the procedures. Even last month's manual should be out of date
- Toyota: Taichi Ohno
As in the piling up of hypothetical alternatives, creative accidents follow the law of probabilities - the more we fish, the more likely we are to get a strike.
- Alex Osborn
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
- Pierre Pachet
Everything that can be invented has been invented. (1899)
- Commissioner of Patents
The best way to get a good idea is to get a lot of ideas
- Linus Pauling
The only joy in the world is to begin.
- Cesare Pavese
It doesn't matter what product or service you're offering; there is unlimited ability to improve the quality of anything.
- Tom Peters
Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
- Pablo Picasso
I do not seek. I find.
(Je ne cherche pas; je trouve)
- Pablo Picasso
It is the function of creative man to perceive and to connect the seemingly unconnected.
- William Plommer
Creativity represents a miraculous coming together of the uninhibited energy of the child with its apparent opposite and enemy, the sense of order imposed on the disciplined adult intelligence.
- Norman Podhoretz
All we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.
- Edgar Allen Poe
There are no secrets to success; don't waste time looking for them. Success is the result of perfection, hard work, learning from failure, loyalty to those for whom you work, and persistence.
- Colin Powell
The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in seeing with new eyes.
- Marcel Proust
The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it.
- Chinese Proverb
Teachers open the door, but you must enter by yourself.
- Chinese Proverb
Being an expert is more than understanding how a system is supposed to work. Expertise is gained by investigating why a system doesn't work.
- Brian Redman
People learn more from observation that they do from conversation.
- Will Rogers
The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn ... and change.
- Carl Rogers Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.
- Will Rogers
Success is doing ordinary things extraordinarily well
- Jim Rohn
Inspiration could be called inhaling the memory of an act never experienced.
- Ned Rorem
Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.
- Darrell Royal
The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn.
- David Russell
Be master of mind rather than mastered by mind.
- Zen saying
Neccesity is the mother of invention, it is true -- but is father is creativity, and knowledge is the midwife.
- Jonathan Schattke
The notes I handle no better than many pianists, But the pauses between the notes - ah, that is where the art resides!
- Arthur Schnabel
A learning organisation is one that is continually expanding its capacity to create its future.
- Peter Senge
The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them.
- George Bernard Shaw
Few people think more than two or three times a year. I've made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week
- Goerge Bernard Shaw
Some men see things as they are and say, why. I dream things that never were and say, why not.
- George Bernard Shaw. Musical comedies aren't written, they are re-written.
- Stephen Sondheim
Look and you will find it - what is unsought will go undetected.
- Sophocles The life of the creative man is lead, directed and controlled by boredom. Avoiding boredom is one of our most important purposes.
- Saul Steinberg
Doodling is the brooding of the mind.
- Saul Steinberg There are no foolish questions and no man becomes a fool until he has stopped asking questions
- Charles Steinmetz
Every exit is an entry somewhere else.
- Tom Stoppard I have learned throughout my life as a composer chiefly through my mistakes and pursuits of false assumptions, not by my exposure to founts of wisdom and knowledge.
- Igor Stravinsky
Foraging is collecting information; being on the outlook and exploring your environment for new ideas, seeking inspiration through nature, getting an education, developing your abilities and talenbts.
- FRANK's Components for Creativity and Success In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert's mind there are few.
- Shunryu Suzuki
To do two things at once is to do neither.
- Publilius Syrus The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing.
- Publilius Syrus
A discovery is said to be an accident meeting a prepared mind.
- Albert Szent-Gyorgyi Discovery consists of looking at the same thing as everyone else and thinking something different.
- Albert Szent-Gyorgyi
Go - not knowing where.
Bring - not knowing what.
The path is long, the way unknown
- Russian Fairy Tale If the going is easy, beware! You may be going downhill
- Greg Taunt
Your questions indicate the depth of your belief. Look at the depth of your questions.
- John & Lyn St. Clair Thomas
Our life is frittered away by detail... Simplify, Simplify
- Henry Thoreau
We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action.
- Frank Tibolt
Change is not merely necessary to life - IT IS LIFE.
- Alvin Toffler
The strongest of all warriors are these two - time and patience.
- Count Lev Nikolaevich Tolstoy
Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.
- Leadership ... with a human touch
A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
- Mark Twain
Aim at nothing and you will hit it every time
- Unknown
If Columbus had turned back, no one would have blamed him. No one would have remembered him either.
- Unknown
The mind is like a parachute - it only works when it is open.
- Unknown
Aim at nothing and you will hit it every time.
- Unknown
The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled
- Unknown
The one who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The one who walks alone is likely to discover places no one has ever been before.
- Unknown
If you aren't the lead dog, the view never changes.
- Unknown
An idea can turn to dust or magic, depending on the talent that rubs against it.
- Unknown
Well begun is half done.
- Unknown
I roamed the countryside searching for answers to things I did not understand. Why shells existed on the tops of mountains. How the various circles of water form around the spot which has been struck by a stone, and why a bird sustains itself in the air. These questions and other strange phenomena engaged my thought throughout my life.
- Leondardo da Vinci
Originality is nothing but judicious imitation.
- Voltaire
The art of creation is older than the art of killing.
- Andrei Voznesensky
Who the hell wants to hear actors talk? (spoken in 1927)
- Warner Brother's H. M. Warner
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
- Thomas Watson
Remove the word "problem" from your vocabulary and replace it with "challenge". Life will suddenly become a lot more interesting and enjoyable.
- Donna Watson
Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only by someone who is detached.
- Simone Weil
Subject: sex
In case you never think of sex, here are some thoughts on the subject by > > some of the world's foremost thinkers that will fill the void.
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
--Tom Clancy
You know "that look" women get when they want sex?
Me neither."
--Steve Martin
"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
--Woody Allen
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
--Rodney Dangerfield
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
--Lynn Lavner
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
--Camille Paglia
"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant." --George Burns
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." -- Sharon Stone
"My girlfriend always laughs during sex---no matter what she's reading." -- Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)
I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with "Guess" on it.
I said, "Thyroid problem?" -- Arnold Schwarzenegger
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." --Jack Nicholson
"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." -- Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." -- Robin Williams
"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself." -- Roseanne
"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." -- Billy Crystal
"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other > > women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful." --Robert De Niro
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms.
They say they cause severe swelling.
So what's the problem?" -- Dustin Hoffman
"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked." -- Jerry Seinfeld
"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house." -- Rod Stewart
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." --Robin Williams
The essence of competitiveness is liberated when we make people believe that what they think and do is important - and then get out of their way while they do it.
- CEO of General Electric: Jack Welch
Failure can be a stepping stone to success - it's never too late.
- Dr Ralph Wells
I am a writer who came from a sheltered life. A sheltered life can be daring as well. For all serious daring starts from within.
- Eudora Welty
We think in generalities, but we live in detail.-Alfred North Whitehead
The "silly question" is the first intimation of some totally new development.- Alfred North Whitehead
Every really new idea looks crazy at first
- Alfred North Whitehead
Do or do not, there is no try
(Empire Strikes Back) - Yoda
Without deviation, progress is not possible.- Frank Zappa
"Learn to like yourself, then you can let the rest go."-E.A.Hudson 1938-2001
