Hey lookee! I'm invisible!
Created | Updated Aug 16, 2003
And other preposterous fantasies.
So has anybody ever tried to read the braile on the ATM machines? If so what does it say? "You are here" probably?
A chick on one of those inane daytime network tv programs called Elimidate or something like that is dressed like a whore with silicone boobs and false practically everything else. She's just spent the preceeding 60 second program spot they sandwich between commercials lap dancing with a latino dude. So what does she say?
"I think all that dude is interested in is sex!"
So? Did you give him some reason to be interested in your witty conversation? Or does your attire not suggest some professional interest in what you're complaining about him being so interested in?
Moral: If you ain't selling anything, don't advertise. And if you are selling something, but using sex to attract attention to it, don't complain when somebody mistakes the pitch for the product.
Next case.
George W. Bush has frequently been good for a few laughs but his lackeys have been even funnier recently. Just the other day one of them was insisting that even though all the pretexts for sending the troops to Iraq might be bogus, we still needed to keep the troops there because we needed to support them.
Now that's sort of like saying that because I got phony directions to Gunther Toody's and consequently ended up at the Imperial Garden and even though I detest Chinese food and would really rather have a greasy cheeseburger with greasy onions and Elvis fries (Please don't ask what those are. You don't want to know, trust me.), And even though the Chinese proprietors know all this and are yelling at me to get out as they boisterously surround me and threaten me with meat cleavers and noodle cutters, I'm going to stick around just to make a pest of myself because I got to support me no matter what.
Now, I know that's sort of a very long and convoluted metaphor, but you see? That's how the system works now. It's not very clever, just very complicated. So by the time you've examined and rebutted each and every ridiculous assertion, everybody's more or less gone to sleep or changed channels. I'm not sure what we should call this technique but I'm open to suggestions.
Which is also an opening to close this entry and wait for all the brilliant answers or comments or whatever that will accrete to it sooner or later, so party on, because it's your party now. Bedazzle me okay?
So has anybody ever tried to read the braile on the ATM machines? If so what does it say? "You are here" probably?
A chick on one of those inane daytime network tv programs called Elimidate or something like that is dressed like a whore with silicone boobs and false practically everything else. She's just spent the preceeding 60 second program spot they sandwich between commercials lap dancing with a latino dude. So what does she say?
"I think all that dude is interested in is sex!"
So? Did you give him some reason to be interested in your witty conversation? Or does your attire not suggest some professional interest in what you're complaining about him being so interested in?
Moral: If you ain't selling anything, don't advertise. And if you are selling something, but using sex to attract attention to it, don't complain when somebody mistakes the pitch for the product.
Next case.
George W. Bush has frequently been good for a few laughs but his lackeys have been even funnier recently. Just the other day one of them was insisting that even though all the pretexts for sending the troops to Iraq might be bogus, we still needed to keep the troops there because we needed to support them.
Now that's sort of like saying that because I got phony directions to Gunther Toody's and consequently ended up at the Imperial Garden and even though I detest Chinese food and would really rather have a greasy cheeseburger with greasy onions and Elvis fries (Please don't ask what those are. You don't want to know, trust me.), And even though the Chinese proprietors know all this and are yelling at me to get out as they boisterously surround me and threaten me with meat cleavers and noodle cutters, I'm going to stick around just to make a pest of myself because I got to support me no matter what.
Now, I know that's sort of a very long and convoluted metaphor, but you see? That's how the system works now. It's not very clever, just very complicated. So by the time you've examined and rebutted each and every ridiculous assertion, everybody's more or less gone to sleep or changed channels. I'm not sure what we should call this technique but I'm open to suggestions.
Which is also an opening to close this entry and wait for all the brilliant answers or comments or whatever that will accrete to it sooner or later, so party on, because it's your party now. Bedazzle me okay?
