INTERVIEWED: Lancelot Baylis(s)

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“Wait a minute, didn't we just pass this interview a few minutes ago?"”

Tea, jelly babies, and a cane with some sort “furry dice” attachment. The Dailyness tracks down the purveyor of gadgets for some serious interviewing. "Where do you keep the crackers?" demands Eric Coleslaw…Being aged 21, Lance Baylis, is nearly 22. Sitting in his kitchen, with a small biscuit in one hand, and nothing in the other hand, I ask him to take us back to the beginnings of the Lord Mike Saga.”I was thrilled by Mike Mills and the Rats original adventure, and contributed one of my own (A Michael Mills Adventure). The first one I appeared in was probably Attack of the Nasty People, although I can't really recall.”My original role in the series was as a "Gadget Master", ala (name deleted) from (name deleted for copyright reasons). But as time grew on, I got more and more involved in adventures…. Being turned into a duck, mostly. “I wanted to be a typical English stereotype when I first saw a tweed suit, back when I was but a nipper. Mind you, it didn't fit me back then...” he pauses, maybe remembering back to his idyllic childhood days, or maybe because he’s eating a biscuit. I really don’t know. “My biggest influence is probably a man I once met at a Train station in Wolverhampton.” Wolverhampton, isn’t that where Mike got his shoes? “What?” Lance pauses, looking puzzled, and then shakes his head and continues. “He had an umbrella over his head, and a sign strapped to his chest that read, "I'm a fictional character. Ask me how!" And so I did. I had the flu for weeks afterwards, because the silly old goat wouldn't let me have his umbrella. I never go outside now without my umbrella up, no matter the weather.” “What’s my biggest contribution?” Lance ponders when he has finished his biscuit, in answer to my question of: “what’s your biggest contribution”. “Probably the mind powers I taught Mike Mills at a young age,” he says, “Something about the weak minded, so I recall. Mind you, I was a bit older back then. And looked a bit like a classically trained British actor.” I scratch my head, using the hand that would have been holding a cup of tea, had I been offered one. ”People always run up to me in the streets and Quack loudly, a reference to my turning into a duck once.” Lance continues, “This is despite my pleas that, if they want to approach me in the street, the best way to get my attention is to throw money at me. Tsk.” He catches site of my tea-less hand. “I've just put the kettle on.” He says. “I'm afraid I can't offer you a cup though, as I've forgotten to buy any sugar. Or water. Or tea.” He pauses at the mention of tea, “My tea is brewed using a top secret recipe, handed down in my family from generation to generation,” he says suddenly. “It is said that Lord Nelson himself used a cup of my ancestors tea to clean out the cannons on his battleships, but I never tell the secret of what makes it such a special blend. It keeps his Lordship calm though, which must be a plus.” The Mike Mills Saga has begun branching out now, in all sorts of different ways. Most noticeably, the leap to H2G2. What does Lance think of the new location? “It has been great,” he enthuses, “the larger budget seems to allow for us to get away with even worse puns. And it helps to pay for Nibbles.” And the other great leap? What does Lance think to the plans for an animated version of the Saga? “I've been consulted about this,” he says cautiously, “and I think it can work. Mind you, we'll have to tone it down for the lower age bracket. The gags about "not being that way inclined" will have to go out the window as well. And Lindsay's little spoken off choice in clothing 1. But all the voices will have be done by one bloke, as the budget will be diddley-squat.” No change there then. “Oh, good grief, no, we had no end of budget troubles. All sorts of funny things went on back stage with us trying to save money. I remember this time while we were filming the train sequence in "101 Fumigations". I wasn't actually in that scene, but Mike and Steven were in this train, and they were supposed to be attacked by an old lady. But when they turned around, I was there wearing my 'Sid Vicious' T-Shirt and Tom Baker underpants.” There is a pause. “I suppose you had to be there.” What parts of the Saga does Lance think work best/worst? “The entire Trilogy of Attack of the Nasty People, Albino Royale and Children of the Resolution. For both questions, probably.” But which one is his favourite story? “I have a soft spot for "Bwhahahaha!". Without it, we wouldn't have managed to get where we have. Which is somewhere in the Midlands.” I see. “It's been a pleasure,” Lance says, unfurls umbrella and walks out into the blistering heat.Compiled by Eric Coleslaw fromThe Dailynesswww.dailyness.o-f.com
1See "Spoila" if you’re that interested…

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