The Ballad of Pontillia Perlmutter, continued.

They tried to put her in the circus,

she cried so much it wouldn't do.

Then they tried the zoo,

but the animals all raised a todo!

They couldn't put her

in any institution,

without major incident,

until they flipped a coin and tried the Parliament!


Por wheedle, por wheedle,
weedle weedle woo!
You've got nothing,
You've got nothing,
Nothing better to do!


She found it so neat

when she took her seat,

that she put forth an act,

mandating bare feet!

The shoe seller's guild,

sent out a killer,

whom she liked so well,

she made him her feller!


Por wheedle, por wheedle,
weedle weedle woo!
You've got nothing,
You've got nothing,
Nothing better to do!



She dominated the swells,

with so many spells,

that they took up a vote,

and made her PM as well!

This was anathema

to the ruling class,

as she had much less

breeding than she did brass.


Por wheedle, por wheedle,
weedle weedle woo!
You've got nothing,
You've got nothing,
Nothing better to do!


So, at great expense,

they offered her a signal honor!

They gave her silver pants

and put a spacesuit on her!

The first toddler in space

was to be her new claim to fame

until she got hungry at lift-off,

and roasted conkers in the flame!

Por wheedle, por wheedle,
weedle weedle woo!
You've got nothing,
You've got nothing,
Nothing better to do!



Of the spaceport

there was little,

after the blast had past,

just Pontillia with a tan!

She launched an inquiry,

held the trial herself,

led the prosecution,

and wound the rope from kelp!


Por wheedle, por wheedle,
weedle weedle woo!
You've got nothing,
You've got nothing,
Nothing better to do!