h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Captain America (Goser, The Priest of the New Truth)

The sound of footsteps on the path drew Josiah's attention. Coming along the narrow berm of dirt that hadn't been flooded by the river was a scrawny and nervous man. His bald pate was decorated with intricate designs that appeared to be made with permanent marker. He wore an old American flag like a poncho folded over with a hole cut for the head and a mismatched pair of loafers. He called himself Goser, The Priest of the New Truth but Josiah's name for him was Captain America because he always wore the flag poncho.
Captain America was one of the only people who lived nearby who managed to avoid being killed by the uglies. Marta thought the Uglies were afraid of him because he was so crazy.
"Child of the truth, Goser greets you and blesses you with the vision of the truth!" he said as he approached the gate. He waved a bent spatula in the air as if giving a benediction to the house and all in it and finished by looking at Josiah throught the slats of the spatula and whispering, "Truth in my eye, truth in your mind!"