SEX (going all the way)
Created | Updated Mar 28, 2002
A while back a friend was boasting about how many girls hed slept with and stuff like that. The problem i pointed out in his stories was that he was screwing monkeys, not real monkeys like the one's who dance for quarters in the park and throw their crap at you if you don't give them any money but as in women who were no challenge on the account that anybody could have scored with them, even a toothless midget from the cricus with a peg leg. This pissed him off and resulted in him throwing a large blunt object at my head which was either his shoe or my dog i cant remember although i hope it was the dog because he has very big feet. Anyway after that he let me explain why i didnt give a s**t about who he had screwed. Now when it comes to women and sex there are three main gropus, monkeys(as mentioned above) apes(a real pain in the ass to score with unless youre involved) and gorllias(nearly impossible to score with unless youre married). The reason monkeys are so easy to score with goes like this. three monkeys are in a car the blind one, the deaf one and the mute one. the blind monkey is steering, the deaf monkey is on the gasand the the mute one is the lookout. Everything is fine untill they come to a stop at which point the mute monkey trys to tell the deaf monkey to stop but he's mute and the other monkeys deaf. He cant tell the blind monkey to turn because he cant yell and if the blind one could see him jumpig around they wouldnt be in this problem to begin with and so they go right through the stop sign(this can also cause problems for other drivers and many a three or four car pile up has been the result of these troublesome monkeys). Now when the ape gets in the car it can reach the pedals and and see the sign so it stops. The gorilla, well the gorilla doesnt even get in the car so you can forget about that.
If this doesnt make any sense, read it again when youre smashed and it will all become clear. Zarn-Pan D.
*NOTE sometimes the deaf monkey has looked up and seen the mute monkey going nuts and stoped but this is rare and these monkeys usually die because they cant get the car moving again and they always seem to stop on rail road tracks or right in front of a big rig.
I mean no offense to anyone by this, im not saying all women are like this but simply explaining the behavior of certain individuals, which i have heard both males and females complain about so if your not a monkey then who cares.
If this doesnt make any sense, read it again when youre smashed and it will all become clear. Zarn-Pan D.
*NOTE sometimes the deaf monkey has looked up and seen the mute monkey going nuts and stoped but this is rare and these monkeys usually die because they cant get the car moving again and they always seem to stop on rail road tracks or right in front of a big rig.
I mean no offense to anyone by this, im not saying all women are like this but simply explaining the behavior of certain individuals, which i have heard both males and females complain about so if your not a monkey then who cares.
