Plaster casts - torture or what?

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As I write this guide entry, I am sat with my right ankle in a rather fetching purple plaster cast due to tripping over my left foot. No, I was not drunk, I have size 11 feet!!! And I mean adult male size 11s on a girl!!!!! I have another week/half in the torture chamber that is my below knee plaster. The hospital told me not to stick anything down it or wrap it in a bin bag, but they do not tell you how to get comfy in bed, do they?

Would they put me in a "Beckham Boot" (Air cast)? Would they heck as like! Doc says my ankle needs a custom made cast to support the damages to my ligaments. Still hurts quite a bit, even though my ankle isn't giving way as much (looking for some sympathy here, guys!). But that's not the half of it. It itches, a bit at the back is sticking into me leg, and I can't walk on it for long without getting cramp in the other leg. The crutches are blistering my hands too. I think that whoever invented the concept of casts and crutches would have got a top job for the Spanish Inquisition as a torture master, and that is putting it mildly. I am p****d off with the blinking thing and cannot wait to get it removed. Will probably still be on crutches for a while, and strapped up in an ankle brace until the physio starts working, as it will still need some support to strengthen it, so will be hobbling around and not able to dance at my own birthday party on June 6th (boo hoo!)[which is my actual birthday, by the way. I will be 29, so greetings will be welcomed - HINT HINT!]

Everyone thinks its cool to have an arm or leg in plaster, but it isn't. I have not been at College for a week and I am missing my friends loads. Okay, I'm on Study Leave for my exams from Friday onwards, but that isn't the point. I feel totally useless. Can't even perform a simple task like making a cup of coffee without help! But the one small advantage is being waited on hand and foot, and watching what I like on telly. Can also read my revision notes and study for the exams to stop me going out of my mind with boredom, so if I get straight As in my A-levels, I can thank my cast for it, I suppose.

I hope this warns anyone out there with big feet to watch where they are walking! This affliction of mine will have lasting consequences for my poor ankle!!!

From someone who is feeling very sorry for themselves (The Beckzter is in da house!!)

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