At a hundred and 3 years old, the pride of her motorcycle club!

Int eh corrant leagle and inmironmountel battle between Brussels and Londimium over which chity souyld have thier edifices tron down and pavemenst ript up because one is the ancient site of a protec ted amnital that would not be eteednc now if some schmuck hadn't doocidet to build a willage there!

Owr inderwew sobjuct this morning is, ahmem, (cough), sorry...

(gulp sulp ulp)Ah!

One 'o them little virusisiesieyes going around.

In the current legal and environmental battle between Brussels and London over which city should have their edifices torn down and pavements ripped up because one is the ancient site of a protected animal that would not be extinct now if some gentleman hadn't decided to to build a village there!

Our interview subject this morning is Patricia Davenport Stufferson, an one hundred and three year old person who...

What the *(*^!-^#@^1^-**^Goo is a 'person'?

You mean, like as opposed to a Dowg?

Jist the souwnd of me voirce shud tell 'em I'm a wimmen of the hooman kind!

You one of them politically sentient-types that's always telling older folks how to behave?

I'll tell you what, young'un,

I've been cleaning my own carburettors and buying my own spanners for long enough to know that what came before might not be better, but it certainly is easier to attack, because all the flaws in the new stuff ain't known and, besides, the makers of antiques aren't around anymore to be lambasted for doing the best that they could with what they had!

Which is more than I can say for these Pepsi-bottle-fed, my crisps aren't the right flavour little gits today, who grow up to found computer software companies and then spend millions on protecting the environment that they helped ruin with their disposable this and sun-ripened that.

Look at this here London/Brussels thing.

Arguing over whose titmouse or field mouse or feral newt was originally displaced by the ancient but still ignorant founder of each pile of rubble.

Show of hands, people, let's take up a collection and bulldoze them both!

Each real live person, not those bees with legs, those ants with cars, who live in mounds and hives and love each other...

Each real live person should have a domicile separate from his neighbors by at least one square mile of trees and creeks and road-less wildness.

We have the land.

All we have to do is take it away from the large landholders or the cities.

As for those commuter charlies, they can all go to hell.

They can work anywhere they want to.

They don't have to live out in the good world and drive into the mean mean city. If they have the money and the power and the gas to guzzle, then they should make the drive to each other's homes and skip the city entirely!

Or, buy a pub and move the business there. Serve the community and allow the business to take it's natural casual course over pints and Pamela Anderson videos in the comfort of their own booths...

That reminds me. Suits suck. They are almost as bad as corsets.

Night, all.

Um...

Where'd she go?

Is that her bike starting up? What the hell is that thing?

It sounds like a fighter plane from a movie.

A Vincent Black Shadow!?

Does it pollute? And is she wearing a helmet?


(trust me, luv, after a 103 years, it don't matter....)