h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well thank you Mr Manda, so now if i can ask you all to charge your glasses, and toast the success of this fine establishment chink chink....

Best regards BN.

well manda, was a great speach thanx for opening the beergarden n offlicance to lubricate your throat

Malo

Hey Malo, i think that we are going to have to get some more advertising for this place. Mind you with the bar staff giving away so much freebies, i'm not suprised that this place is so less frequented, maybe we need to change them instead?.

Well i have all their lovely wages here but if no one wants to come and get them, it may make up for all those prementioned freebies

Catch you later BN.

....

Hi Jen do i take it that you are happy to see me then.

So why as no one come to see me in the beer garden then, ive only had your wages there for the last four days, you only had to ask.

Go on then i shall have a nice cold worthers please .

Regards BN.xxx

...oh so it was you hiding under the shubbery!!! ..<angel and i thought it was just some old tramp!!!! hehehehe...and this is an offy not a bar!!..so up front before you get any in here

jen

blue
no pay them there but i think as they are having more breaks than needed we should cut there what advertising you got lined up? we need more customer or we wont last
Malo

well Malo the word is spreading my friend, but i do have a little idea of my own, but it will take quite a while for me to achieve...

Jen now would i want to pay for it, when it is i that goes to the wholesalers to keep this place nicely topped up?

Just pass us a bottle of Southern Comfort please, as i am going to drink it in the beer garden, ive had enough of now.

Right well you know where to find me if you wish.

Regards BN.

ok you can have the bottle WE..have a nice day in the beer garden...bye the way...its gonna RAIN!! hehehe

jen

nowt wrong with the odd drop of rain, it can be quite refreshing to be honest, beside after a whole bottle of southern who cares .

Top of the morning to you for you, so please enjoy

Regards BN.xxx

I'm gonna do exactly what I do when I'm drunk in my local offie.
Watsch ver mosssht obshcure drikypoo you shell 'ere ven? 'N if itsh cheeeeeep can i ave sum?

well i do have a bottle of made by peruvian maidens and goes by the name of "incas delight" and only £3 a bottle how does that grab you

Just let me see the first please

Regards BN.

I'm sorry where am I was I drinking last night? Is that my drool on your vynil floor? I am sorry I dont often sleep in off licences now how about a hair of the dog?

"Yes" = No "No" = Yes "Maybe" = No "I'm sorry" = You'll be sorry "We need" = I want "It's your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now "Sure... go ahead" = I don't want you to "I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset, you moron! "We need to talk" = I need to complain "You're certainly attentive tonight" = Is sex all you ever think about? "Be romantic, turn out the lights" = I have flabby thighs "This kitchen is so inconvenient" = I want a new house "I want new curtains" = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper... "I heard a noise" = I noticed you were almost asleep "Do you love me?" = I'm going to ask for something expensive "How much do you love me?" = I did something today you're really not going to like "I'll be ready in a minute" = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V. "Is my butt fat?" = Lie to me "You have to learn to communicate" = Just agree with me "Are you listening to me!?" = [Too late, you're dead] "Do what you want." = You'll pay for this later

hey cosmic if you want to tell jokes in here why dont you have a word with cuddly wolf and see if we can get you a spot of work in the function room, all we do here is serve to people who are on their way home usually.

Besides which i think that you need some new material, dont you?

Regards BN.

BLUENOSELD

New material ? No i dont think i do .Cuddly wolf is she the lady thats pops up in all the pub areas ?

give it another couple of months and she will be popping out not up in these here threads, but yes she is the one and only.

Regards BN.

Yes i have come across that lady very friendly aswell.

Well then see if she will give you a night in the function room

Bottle of for you to be on your travells

Regards BN.