h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Rimmer W/. beehive and Flibble slide into room...*

While Skutter's way... Flibble will play...

*Hex begins degrading Proj. Unit that will cause a distraction worths of time for ALL skutters to fix...*

*Disappears into corridors*

*While waiting for Rimmer 2 to recover in BTL, Bob nips in to shut down Skutter Cinema*

*Bob (aka (Skutter 1) enters followed by Skutters 2 - 6*

*No-one notices*

Holly. Please note - Skutters 2 - 6 are currerntly engaged on work of maximum importance and cannot be used by other crew members until further notice. Acknowledge please.

*Bob (aka Skutter 1) surveys the damage caused by Rimmer 2.*

*The Primary Projector Unit is little more the a mass of bubbly metal and plastic and the Secondary Projector Unit is less badly damaged but is also unusable.*

*The copy of THE ALAMO which was in the Primary Projector at the time is a total loss but fortunately there is another copy in the library.*



OK here’s what we do.

2 - you’ll help me get rid of the ruined projectors and all the buckled plinths. Then we re-lay the floor and build new plinths.

We also need to design and build a comprehensive security system that will keep those mad b*****d holograms out of the Cinema.

3 and 4 - you get down to our Workshop and start building the two Laser Disk projectors we planned. Let’s have details of sizes and power reqs asap so we can get the new plinths built.

5 and 6 - get yourselves through to the Cinema Library and use the HiSpeed copier to transcribe all the films onto Laser Disk.

OK. Get to it boys and we’ll have this Cinema up and running again in no time.

*Bob and Skutter 2 have cleared up the debris and relaid the floor*




Transmitting details of new Laser Disk Projectors


*Skutter 2 begins building plinths for new projectors*

*Bob begins design of security system*

*New Security System now completed*

*The Cinema Area Security System consists of a invisible spherical force field encompassing all current Cinema areas. It is programmmed to automatically cover any new Cinema areas.*

*It has a dedicated power supply, independent of all other ships systems and can only be activated/deactivated from the mini control panel in the Cinema Projection Room. It is programmed only to respond to a control code entered by Bob (aka Skutter 1) on skuttercomm frequency.*

*It is harmless to all normal life-forms but has a progressive degrading effect on holograms. If a hologram is foolish enough to attempt to enter the Cinema area it will initially suffer from blurring at the edges. THAT IS YOUR WARNING. If the hologram proceeds further into the Cinema area it will rapidly degrade until only the light kernel remains.*


*Bob enters code ******** in mini control panel*
Activate Security System

*Installation of new Laser Disc Projection System now complete*

*Skutter Cinema re-opening soon*

*Skutter Cinema now re-opened*

*the morph floats in and turns on the projector... it turns into a light bulb and reads the film...*

*waits for skutter*