communication difficulties
Created | Updated Oct 31, 2003
Communication is a strange thing. We now have numerous ways in which we get our message across, to people, either sat next to us, or around the other side of the world. However, it springs to my mind, that I have still in my immense levels of ineptness, still to find one, in which I can actually get across, what I want to say in, a fluid and comprehensible manner, without losing the thread of what it was that I had originally wanted to say.
I should, at first perhaps go through each type of communicatory apparatus, which I have, so far encountered and explain what my faults are with each.
Firstly the old fashioned form of (and I know that this concept may seem a bit alien to some of those reading this), talking to people face to face. Now there are several subdivisions to this, in that I could be talking to only one person, or in a group of people, or at a group of people, via a speech etc.
Talking one to one.
As far as this method, goes I always feel at first at least that I am incapable of thinking of anything at all to say to them, even in the case of my best friend, I flounder completely, at constructing a proper line of talk, other than the standard fall backs of small talk, such as the weather. In the case of some people I know I don’t believe that I have ever got past this stage, which generally means that I have got onto a conversation about football. If I am able to get past this initial “small talk” phase, then I have a tendency to explode with random thoughts upon numerous, varied and unrelated subjects; and then proceed to waffle on and on until the poor sole that I’m afflicting my ideas on, finally gives up on life and slips into a comer. All right the last bit is a slight execration, but a definite glaze can be clearly seen drifting over their eyes. But do I take these none too subtle hints, and actually shut up? No chance, I just proceed regardless, until I run out of breath or require a drink.
Talking in a group.
This is much related to the, whole matter of standing up in front of a group of people and giving a talk, only perhaps slightly less nerve racking. Due to my complete lack of faith, in my own abilities in finding a topic of conversation that a number of people will find stimulating, at the same time as one another, I tend to clam up completely and just listen to the other topics of conversation that are being thrown around the table, or bar etc. or alternatively, I corner one of the company, for a brief period in time, (remembering to myself what could happen if I drone on for any lengthy period of time), and talk to them.
Speech.
Standing up in front of a group of people, even a group that I know very well is one of the few things in life that actually petrifies me. I end up stammering, I stutter, I can never remember what I am suppose to be saying, or what order the words (let alone the sentences and paragraphs) in my talk are meant to go in. I become in short a gibbering wreak, in front of the eyes of the assembled audience.
Talking on the phone.
This I tend to do reasonably well, in that I know that I cant talk for an overly long period of time, as it will either cost myself, or the other person (pending upon who rang who), a large amount of money if I did, (I should point out that as I am a student, I am obliged to be rather tight when it comes to finances). This means that I am forced to keep to the point to a certain degree; though I have been known waffle at some great length, if given the right subject in which to do so. One of the main problems, which I have with the telephone, is the lack of visual aids that can be used in the one on one situation. For instance, you can’t point to anything, or use hand gestures in a phone call (well you can, but they would only be for your own amusement and not much help to the person on the other end). This can for me be a bit of a draw back, as I have a slight speech defect, which means that any words beginning with or containing a “sh” sound, are a little hard to decipher; which is not a major problem, when facing someone, as I can simply point at something which either is the thing I am saying, or will act as a substituted.
Phone messages.
By this I mean the use of answer machines, this is a terrible thing for me, as I become completely flustered and befuddled at those terrible words, which haunt me “please leave your message after the beep.” They send shivers down my spine, at the thought of them. For some inexplicable reason, I somehow manage to forget how to put one word in front of the other in order to make up a recognisable sentence. As for actually saying what I want to say, and getting my point across to the listener, there is hardly any chance at all of that succeeding, in the slightest.
Typing.
This isn’t too bad, in that with the help of such programmes as Microsoft word, such trivial things as spelling, are no longer a major problem, I have discovered that I have become rather lazy in though, in that I no longer actually learn how to correct spelling mistakes, I just make sure that the words are close enough to what they are supposed to be, that the spell check will recognise what they are supposed to be. My only problem with typing is a tendency to go on and on, and (as you will have noticed), use about three or four words, where one would have done. This comes from trying to pad out essays, where I don’t have enough actual information on the subject, but have an unbelievably high word limit to work towards.
Writing.
This I can do to a certain extent, and that extant is if someone else ever wants to read what I have scribbled down. My handwriting is appallingly bad, there have been times that I have struggled to make head or tail of what on earth I have written, in amongst all of the undecipherable hieroglyphics on my page. The spelling is fairly dodgy, (as I have said before), but as the quality of the writing is so bad, most mistakes simply get ignored.
Texting.
This is still quite new to me, being as I was, one of the last under thirties in the western world not to have a mobile phone. I think its fair to say that I am still getting the hang of it, and with the discovery of “predictive text”; the speed in which I can send messages has increased rapidly. I find that the restrictions that, it puts upon conversations, is rather stifling, and though it has the advantage of reducing the waffle factor, does mean that you are limited to the number of ideas that you can put across to the other party at any one time. It also has a tendency to induce misunderstandings, in that you can hardly portray a tone of voice to a text, therefore, a statement that could have been made in jest, could be taken seriously, and seem to be either rude or hurtful, to the other person. Sarcasm for instance is extremely difficult to do, when you only have 160 characters to play around with.
Conclusion.
That is not all of the forms of communication that I have ever used, but I think that it covers most of the main culprits. I may well have portrayed myself as someone who has absolutely no communication skills whatsoever, which though not too far from being the truth, may well be a slight over statement. I can get by, in my own way, I don’t starve, and I can talk to people without annoying the hell out of them, though sometimes it can all seem like a bit of an effort. I hope that that, if nothing else has been portrayed in this entry, and that despite all of the various methods for saying what I want to, to someone else at my disposal, it is at the end of the day, how they are used, which makes them functional or not.
I should, at first perhaps go through each type of communicatory apparatus, which I have, so far encountered and explain what my faults are with each.
Firstly the old fashioned form of (and I know that this concept may seem a bit alien to some of those reading this), talking to people face to face. Now there are several subdivisions to this, in that I could be talking to only one person, or in a group of people, or at a group of people, via a speech etc.
Talking one to one.
As far as this method, goes I always feel at first at least that I am incapable of thinking of anything at all to say to them, even in the case of my best friend, I flounder completely, at constructing a proper line of talk, other than the standard fall backs of small talk, such as the weather. In the case of some people I know I don’t believe that I have ever got past this stage, which generally means that I have got onto a conversation about football. If I am able to get past this initial “small talk” phase, then I have a tendency to explode with random thoughts upon numerous, varied and unrelated subjects; and then proceed to waffle on and on until the poor sole that I’m afflicting my ideas on, finally gives up on life and slips into a comer. All right the last bit is a slight execration, but a definite glaze can be clearly seen drifting over their eyes. But do I take these none too subtle hints, and actually shut up? No chance, I just proceed regardless, until I run out of breath or require a drink.
Talking in a group.
This is much related to the, whole matter of standing up in front of a group of people and giving a talk, only perhaps slightly less nerve racking. Due to my complete lack of faith, in my own abilities in finding a topic of conversation that a number of people will find stimulating, at the same time as one another, I tend to clam up completely and just listen to the other topics of conversation that are being thrown around the table, or bar etc. or alternatively, I corner one of the company, for a brief period in time, (remembering to myself what could happen if I drone on for any lengthy period of time), and talk to them.
Speech.
Standing up in front of a group of people, even a group that I know very well is one of the few things in life that actually petrifies me. I end up stammering, I stutter, I can never remember what I am suppose to be saying, or what order the words (let alone the sentences and paragraphs) in my talk are meant to go in. I become in short a gibbering wreak, in front of the eyes of the assembled audience.
Talking on the phone.
This I tend to do reasonably well, in that I know that I cant talk for an overly long period of time, as it will either cost myself, or the other person (pending upon who rang who), a large amount of money if I did, (I should point out that as I am a student, I am obliged to be rather tight when it comes to finances). This means that I am forced to keep to the point to a certain degree; though I have been known waffle at some great length, if given the right subject in which to do so. One of the main problems, which I have with the telephone, is the lack of visual aids that can be used in the one on one situation. For instance, you can’t point to anything, or use hand gestures in a phone call (well you can, but they would only be for your own amusement and not much help to the person on the other end). This can for me be a bit of a draw back, as I have a slight speech defect, which means that any words beginning with or containing a “sh” sound, are a little hard to decipher; which is not a major problem, when facing someone, as I can simply point at something which either is the thing I am saying, or will act as a substituted.
Phone messages.
By this I mean the use of answer machines, this is a terrible thing for me, as I become completely flustered and befuddled at those terrible words, which haunt me “please leave your message after the beep.” They send shivers down my spine, at the thought of them. For some inexplicable reason, I somehow manage to forget how to put one word in front of the other in order to make up a recognisable sentence. As for actually saying what I want to say, and getting my point across to the listener, there is hardly any chance at all of that succeeding, in the slightest.
Typing.
This isn’t too bad, in that with the help of such programmes as Microsoft word, such trivial things as spelling, are no longer a major problem, I have discovered that I have become rather lazy in though, in that I no longer actually learn how to correct spelling mistakes, I just make sure that the words are close enough to what they are supposed to be, that the spell check will recognise what they are supposed to be. My only problem with typing is a tendency to go on and on, and (as you will have noticed), use about three or four words, where one would have done. This comes from trying to pad out essays, where I don’t have enough actual information on the subject, but have an unbelievably high word limit to work towards.
Writing.
This I can do to a certain extent, and that extant is if someone else ever wants to read what I have scribbled down. My handwriting is appallingly bad, there have been times that I have struggled to make head or tail of what on earth I have written, in amongst all of the undecipherable hieroglyphics on my page. The spelling is fairly dodgy, (as I have said before), but as the quality of the writing is so bad, most mistakes simply get ignored.
Texting.
This is still quite new to me, being as I was, one of the last under thirties in the western world not to have a mobile phone. I think its fair to say that I am still getting the hang of it, and with the discovery of “predictive text”; the speed in which I can send messages has increased rapidly. I find that the restrictions that, it puts upon conversations, is rather stifling, and though it has the advantage of reducing the waffle factor, does mean that you are limited to the number of ideas that you can put across to the other party at any one time. It also has a tendency to induce misunderstandings, in that you can hardly portray a tone of voice to a text, therefore, a statement that could have been made in jest, could be taken seriously, and seem to be either rude or hurtful, to the other person. Sarcasm for instance is extremely difficult to do, when you only have 160 characters to play around with.
Conclusion.
That is not all of the forms of communication that I have ever used, but I think that it covers most of the main culprits. I may well have portrayed myself as someone who has absolutely no communication skills whatsoever, which though not too far from being the truth, may well be a slight over statement. I can get by, in my own way, I don’t starve, and I can talk to people without annoying the hell out of them, though sometimes it can all seem like a bit of an effort. I hope that that, if nothing else has been portrayed in this entry, and that despite all of the various methods for saying what I want to, to someone else at my disposal, it is at the end of the day, how they are used, which makes them functional or not.
