h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: History of the Cherokee Language - A1033697
Author: Maus Merryjest - U224647

Submitting this for Peer Review.

It looks as though you've tried to use GuideML and not quite managed it.

Maybe this link will help A264520.

Ask if you need any help. Will read the entry later.

Hiya

This is a well researched informative article

Couple of points
In h2g2 we usually don't use footnotes in the same way as 'proper' essays (they're used for asides or futher info, not referenced sources) so I don't think that they need to be included, the bibliography is fine though.

I would have loved to see some examples of the language, I have no idea what it looks like, sounds like etc, so maybe some phases would be helpful.

No typos that I could see, I hope this one does well in PR

SallyM

Some quick comments:

You first mention Tsalagi as breaking into two different dialects, but you don't say previously that this was the original language, which I assume it was.

You also mention the Removal and assume that everyone knows what it was. No they don't!

Where you say inoculate, do you mean inculcate?

Typo : severe > sever

Thinking about it, 'History of the Cherokee Language' isn't quite the right title. I would expect that history would incorporate root language and development, whereas the entry is actually about Sequoia and his preservation and codification of the language, so maybe the title needs to be tweaked to reflect this.

An inspiring story!

The style of the entry is rather academic and dry, but still quite readable It would benefit from a few links I reckon. And I believe the quotation should be in italics.

Well done

I, for one (perhaps the only one) like "academic and dry".

Two small points:

"The U.S government recognize the language rights of the Cherokees under a treatise in which they agreed to subsidize The Phoenix."

should it be "under a treaty"? or "under treaties"?

Perhaps a link to the Cherokee Phoenix: http://www.cherokee.org/Phoenix/Home.asp

I appreciate your comments! I shall review those horrible typos (perhaps the Demon of Typos of whom we have heard recently is roaming about?) and include more material concerning the Removal sometime tonight!

I'd not heard of the term 'Removal', although I can guess that it means forced movement of people from their land against their will and probably because of mineral wealth or some such reason.

This is a cracking good entry!

Do you plan to do anything else with it? It *is* a bit dry and probably a bit hard to understand for a European audience - the geography even confused me the first time through.

When you mention the 'Indian Schools' I know there was one in Carlisle, PA - but were there others? (curious mainly)

But like I said, this is a terrific entry. Keep up the good work!


- Jimi X

Hey MM,

Just to let you know that this entry has been scouted for the Edited Guide. Could you let me know when you've acted on the feedback in this conversation so I can process it for subbing?

Many thanks

Ashley

Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've therefore moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.

If you'd like to know what happens now, check out the page on 'What Happens after your Entry has been Recommended?' at EditedGuide-Process. We hope this explains everything.

Thanks for contributing to the Edited Guide!

Congratulations! well done..