Fragmented series by [HPB]
Kryten. Edited by Darkwin.
Episode 1: Apocalypse Now
It was dead. Apocalypse had watched, with his four sons
(Death, War, Famine and Pestilence), as the last body had
dropped to the ground, bringing the world to an end.
'Well,' he said. 'That's it. I had been expecting the more
traditional boom kind of end, but there you go.' And so
Apocalypse, plus four more, disappeared.
There had been others watching. And they were not happy.
In fact, they were the original 'They' and the official
'Others', who had earned their capitals.
They were the Creators, and They had just seen their
creation succumb to an untimely finish.
Sure, They were omnipotent; omnipresent; omniscient. Even
omnicompetent. But this was an event that even They were
not able to change because They had made it so.
One of the Creators made a book appear. A particularly
thick book, as it contained the complete History with an
infinite number of pages and with an infinity's worth of
chapters. The rest of the Others looked on. They weren't
even going to ask why an all-knowing deity would need a
"I can't believe we had to wait this long to sort out
this... this chaos," said one. Or at least seemed to as It
didn't have a mouth to speak of.
"How long has it been?" asked another.
"Infinity." spoke a third deity. "It's always infinity."
"Ah." This time it was the holder of the History. "It
fragmented here, here, here... here. And here." It was
pointing toward various pages.
"So who are we going to use?" asked Deity One.
"I've been thinking." This was Deity Two. "And I think it
"Him?!" Interupted Deity Three. "We can't use him, he's..."
"Don't do that." said Two.
"Don't read my mind."
"I can't help it," muttered Three. "I'm all-knowing."
"Yes, but You're also all-powerful so stop it!"
"Well I all-know that you two are both all-irritating!"
"Ooh! All-sarcasm!" sneered the other two.
"Quiet!" snapped the Holder. "You were saying... Number Two?"
"But We can't use him, Two!" exclaimed Three. "He's not
even a hero! He only looks out for himself!"
"Exactly!" grinned Two, metaphorically folding Its arms.
The Others looked puzzled.
Realisation hit One. "Oh. HIM."
"AH." said Holder.
"Listen." said Two. "He only looks out for himself. Right?"
"Then he won't want to die. Right?"
"Then he will get the job done because he'll ignore the
obsticles in his way in an attempt to save his own pitiful
life thus saving the world!"
The Others were open-mouthed at this logic. But it worked.
Cue Two's all-smugness.
Great! We're leaving the possible future of the world in
the hands of man where a book has more spine, thought One.
Holder was now rapidly flicking through the History's
pages... "WHEN, though?" It asked.
"There!" Two pointed down. "Then's perfect!"
Holder followed Two's indication.
A smile appeared, and then It slammed the book shut.
For a list of all episodes, go to [HPB]
Kryten's Personal Space.