21 Ways your computer could kill you

2 Conversations

  1. It could freeze during startup without your knowledge, causing you to die of hunger and/or dehydration

  2. The capacitors in your computer could explode, showering you will pieces of blazing shrapnel

  3. The CD in your drive will fly out too fast spinning into you causing death

  4. A mass buildup of radiation in your screen will discharge into your face, burning off all layers of skin and generally being annoying

  5. Overuse of your computer will smelt your brain into goo

  6. Epilepsy warning

  7. The fan could fail to work, gently heating the room to temperatures of 1000oC

  8. You could forget to eat due to writing a massive H2G2 artice

  9. You buy everquest and foolishly say "Oh, I'll only play for an hour". Your corpse will be uncovered by Time Team later

  10. You could become a member of Time Team, and hence be declared Dead

  11. You could mis-spell the word indefatigable

  12. You could burn your copy of Office XP incurring the wrath of Mr Gates

  13. The processor could go critical and implode, creating a small black hole under your desk, getting you sucked in (don't laugh it's been scientifically proven)

  14. You could hack into the Pentagon Website and forget the Nuclear Missile thing is not a game

  15. You could e-mail Death, asking him to visit

  16. You could accidently purchase ultra low frequency speakers, blasting your head off.

  17. Your room could become so overcrowded with AOL CDs that you run out of air

  18. Your computer game characters could come to life and see you as a threat or lunch

  19. The Office Assistant could annoy you to death. It is possible.

  20. You will be so busy on the computer you will not notice the coming of the apocalypse

  21. You will play Championship Manager, and hence forget about your work/coursework/essay/health/etc.

Bookmark on your Personal Space



Infinite Improbability Drive

Infinite Improbability Drive

Read a random Edited Entry

Written by


h2g2 is created by h2g2's users, who are members of the public. The views expressed are theirs and unless specifically stated are not those of the Not Panicking Ltd. Unlike Edited Entries, Entries have not been checked by an Editor. If you consider any Entry to be in breach of the site's House Rules, please register a complaint. For any other comments, please visit the Feedback page.

Write an Entry

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."

Write an entry
Read more