21 Ways your computer could kill you
Created | Updated Apr 27, 2003
It could freeze during startup without your knowledge, causing you to die of hunger and/or dehydration
The capacitors in your computer could explode, showering you will pieces of blazing shrapnel
The CD in your drive will fly out too fast spinning into you causing death
A mass buildup of radiation in your screen will discharge into your face, burning off all layers of skin and generally being annoying
Overuse of your computer will smelt your brain into goo
Epilepsy warning
The fan could fail to work, gently heating the room to temperatures of 1000oC
You could forget to eat due to writing a massive H2G2 artice
You buy everquest and foolishly say "Oh, I'll only play for an hour". Your corpse will be uncovered by Time Team later
You could become a member of Time Team, and hence be declared Dead
You could mis-spell the word indefatigable
You could burn your copy of Office XP incurring the wrath of Mr Gates
The processor could go critical and implode, creating a small black hole under your desk, getting you sucked in (don't laugh it's been scientifically proven)
You could hack into the Pentagon Website and forget the Nuclear Missile thing is not a game
You could e-mail Death, asking him to visit
You could accidently purchase ultra low frequency speakers, blasting your head off.
Your room could become so overcrowded with AOL CDs that you run out of air
Your computer game characters could come to life and see you as a threat or lunch
The Office Assistant could annoy you to death. It is possible.
You will be so busy on the computer you will not notice the coming of the apocalypse
You will play Championship Manager, and hence forget about your work/coursework/essay/health/etc.
