I have been listening to the audio version of Ayn Rand's Anthem¹ and am therefore rediscovering the story. I don't remember when I first read it, whether it was in high school or in college, but at the time I felt inspired for the first time. I didn't have the words then to explain what I felt, though I suppose it was similar to Rand's definition of sense of life as "the wordless feeling that this is what life is about."² I felt inspired by it in ways that I have never felt inspired by her other works.

Now, having re-experienced the novel, I can state more precisely what it was that struck me so deeply. First of all, this is a more youthful, idealistic story than any of Rand's other works. The "perfection" of Howard Roark or John Galt is missing here, as is the grimness of the worlds of Atlas Shrugged and We the Living. (The former is almost unbearably grim to me--it is a story fraught with loneliness, in which the heroes are the sole beacons of light in a world committed to darkness...)

Instead, Anthem is about a young man (Equality 7-2521, later re-named Prometheus) coming to learn what it is to be a free human being, and in so learning discovering, as he states soon after re-uniting with his true love, "what joy is possible to men."³ This young man at first unquestioningly accepts the irrational beliefs of his society, believing himself to be "evil" because he cannot fit into this world. He longs to rid himself of the "curse" of curiosity so that he can be one with his fellow men. I believe that this is not only because his society has taught him that the many is always good and the one always evil, but because he knows somehow that he does not and cannot fit in here, and on some level wishes to belong.

I have been this young man who wants so desperately to belong that he tries to act upon his intelligence and disown it at the same time. He has lived inside me⁴.

Leaving that aside, Anthem is the story of how that young man comes to find and follow his own path. Along the way he is joined by a young woman who he first re-names The Golden One, and then Gaia, and currently this aspect of the story is the part that fascinates me. When our hero runs away to the uncharted forest, Gaia follows him:

They raised their head, and there was a great pride in their voice; they answered, "We have followed you."

...

Their white tunic was torn, and the branches had cut the skin of their arms, but they spoke as if they had never taken notice of it, nor of weariness, nor of fear.

"We have followed you", they said, "and we shall follow you wherever you go. If danger threatens you, we shall face it also. If it be death, we shall die also. You are damned and we wish to share your damnation."

They looked upon us, and their voice was low, but there was bitterness and triumph in their voice:

"Your eyes are as a flame, but our brothers have neither hope nor fire. Your mouth is cut of granite, but our brothers are soft and humble. Your head is high, but our brothers cringe. You walk, but our brothers crawl. We wish to be damned with you, rather than blessed with all our brothers. Do as you please with us, but do not send us away."⁵

I find this to be one of the most romantic passages in any love story I have ever read. I take from it my own ideal for romance: to share my life with a person whose vision of life and of integrity are as passionate as my own. To love and be loved so deeply and so strongly that nothing could tear us apart from one another, not even the cruelty of a world that does not understand.

I can see the shadows of Howard Roark et al in this passage, and yet it is different, because these two people intend to share their lives with one another, and their hopes, and their struggles. This is the only one of Rand's novels where the love story seems an integral part of the novel--while there is romance in her other works, it seems to be a side issue, one small part of illustrating her philosophy.⁶

The romantic quality is strengthened by the hero's idealism. Prometheus almost loses his life because he foolishly believes that his world will forgive him for the "transgression" of working alone when they see what he has done. Even when he has grown apart from that world, he does not give up this idealism; in his final speech he states that he will someday return to the City in order to rescue his friends and those whose spirit is still alive. I feel sad and exhilarated at once when I read that passage, because I know that if he were to return to the City, the City would attempt to destroy him. And yet I love the spirit of a boy-becoming-man who wants to give freedom to his friends as he has given it to himself, and believes that truth and virtue will triumph, even knowing the way others have used his virtues against him.

A couple of other things strike me about Anthem. First, a somewhat technical point: this book is more a poem than a novel, and I think that is part of its appeal to me. I am, in part, a poet, and I feel closer to Prometheus than Rand's other heroes because he "stares at the stars too long at night"⁷ and notices the way the sky changes color. Prometheus sees beauty even in this horrible world he has been born into, and perhaps this is yet another example of his idealism: he cannot believe in the existence of pure evil.

The other point I want to make is more important, in terms of why Anthem is so significant a novel to me.

For several months, I suffered from a major depression based on loneliness. The details are too personal to go into here, but suffice it to say that Prometheus's speech in Chapter 11 helped save my life. I learned from it to reserve my love for those people who truly deserved it, and in so doing totally lost the need to be loved by everybody. As a result, not only am I happier and freer in general, but the friends I so desperately sought seem to suddenly be drawn to me, and my social life is blossoming.

And so, here are some significant excerpts from that speech. I hope it affects or has affected others as it has me.

From Anthem Chapter 11:

...I wished to know the meaning of things. I am the meaning.

...

It is my eyes which see, and the sight of my eyes grants beauty to the earth. It is my ears that hear, and the hearing of my ears gives its song to the world. It is my mind which thinks, and the judgment of my mind is the only searchlight which can find the truth.

...

Many words have been granted me, and some are wise, and some are false, but only three are holy: "I will it!"

Whatever road I take, the guiding star is within me, the guiding star and the lodestone which point the way.

...

I am a man! This miracle of me is mine to own and keep, and mine to guard. and mine to use, and mine to kneel before!

I do not surrender my treasures, nor do I share them. The fortune of my spirit is not to be blown into coins of brass to be thrown to the wind as alms for the poor of spirit.

...

I honor men with my love. But honor is a thing to be earned.

I shall choose friends among men, but neither slaves nor masters. And I shall choose only such who please me, and them I shall love and respect, but neither command nor obey. And we shall join our hands when we wish, and walk alone when we so desire.

...

What is my joy, if all hands, even the unclean, can reach into it? What is my wisdom, if even the fools can dictate to me? What is my freedom, if all creatures, even the botched and the impotent, are my masters? What is my life if I am but to bow, to agree, and to obey?

***

I am a writer. I am working on a new version of the myth of Icarus, intended to be a celebration of his idealism and passion instead of a tragedy. I have dedicated the work, in part, to Ayn Rand, because Anthem has had such a significant impact upon me. I only hope that I will have the ability to write as fine a novel and impact others's lives as significantly.

I often wonder what happened to Prometheus and Gaia after their son was born and their new city built. I hope, in any case, that Prometheus never lost his benevolent spirit, his idealism, or his zest for life. I hope he never gave up his belief that people were basically good and that their spirits were capable of being re-awakened.⁸

Long live the spirit found in Anthem.

1. Put out by The Atlas Society and performed by Paul Meyers.

2. Eventually I intend to write an article fleshing out the concept of sense of life, but for now see Rand's The Romantic Manifesto

3. Chapter Nine

4. I am referring to a sub-personality here.

5. Chapter Nine

6. See, for example, the abrupt end of the love affair between Hank Rearden and Dagny Taggart in Atlas Shrugged

7. Chapter One.

8. Perhaps someday I will have the honor of writing a sequel to this wonderful book.