VOID FRUITCAKE: #5 Blast from the Past

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This episode is fifth in the VF series. To read the
fourth episode click on to VF #4: Keep Your
Big Mouth Shut

Blast from the Past
The explosion was big! Big in every possible way big can be. For
appetizers, they were travelling back in time two days - that's big.
As the principle meal, the fact that they went back in time to get
MAD was ironic, because, in fact, it really wasn't the MAD they were
looking for. They actually needed the Neutron Core that fits
in the MAD to produce power. That was BIG too, a big problem - a fish
out of the water!
Sigmund was to first to realize this - two
days ago.

"Holy Hackers! We've got a problem people! A fish in the jar..." he
paused, "or something like that!"

"Okay... rule number one," Birk tried to stay calm and solve it
logically, which everyone, including himself, knew was impossible,
"Don't Panic!"

"Right," breathed Herald, and, in time, realize the stuttering had
ceased and his bad breath remained. "Hey hey hey! My voice! It's
OKAY!" He announced with visible excitement.

"Good then... what was the problem again?" Gabriel scratched his
hair, dry because he'd only use his Shoulders and Heads
shampoo tomorrow.

"The NutCo!" Sigmund exclaimed! "It's not the damn MAD we want! We
already have that. We need the NutCo! Darn it!"

Everybody remained quiet, preteding to be brainstorming, but were
actually trying to play with the storms in their brains.

"I got it!" Herald pronounced after a moment of pathetic silence.
"We can ask the mop if they have the neutron core. Not

"Oh yea! Why didn't I think of that!" they all shouted in chorus
(strange, eh?).

By this time, the ship (on AutoPilot) had exited a chamber
illuminated in shades of blue. The occupants exitted the vessel and
approached the same mop they'd seen two days later. Of course, the
future is actually the past now.

"Aha... so I sent you from the future, eh?" grinned the mop, a rare
sighting indeed.

"Yes... and here's the RATS-M..." Sigmund handed to him the
Reverse Automated Time System Memo.

"Oh good... it says you want an MAD that comes with a free ASS
right?" he looked up, looking down at the same time. How he did this
was not something you'd want to spend your time pondering upon or

"Yes, but we seem to have a problem. We wrongly mentioned that we
needed MAD. Actually, we just need the Neutron Core." Sigmund tried
to be polite, something he had learned over the LightEpochs.

The mop had a sort of worried look on his face, "Oh well... Hmmm.
Yes. You see, we have the MAD, but i'm afraid it'll take two
hyperdays to arrive. You see, we ordered it today!" the mop grinned.
Today was probably its grinning day.

"Ah well... we just arrived from two days later, and we're tired,"
Herald said in a tone implying he was outrageously tired. "Isn't
there another way to acquire this?"

"I'm afrain not... But wait." The mop went inside a small room and
came out with four bottles of the drink tremendously popular in
Terrarium. "Here... this shall restore your energy for more

"Oh wow... Himalayan Dew. Let's drop the dew!" they all
exclaimed in chorus (hell... this is too much!).
They had it
all and suddenly all they felt refreshed and felt like jumping on a
running cheetah from a bicycle. They were tired no more!

"Good then..." the mop continued, "I shall write you a RATS-M for
two days later," it grinned the grin that was now becoming annoying.
He printed a sheet of paper, signed it, digitally verified it,
encrypted it in a 2048-bit encryption engine. "The future required a
lot of security, you see..." it did it's look-up-but-still-looking
down thing.

"Fine. We go back to the future I see..." Birk contemplated.

"Great. Now Glide Your..." the mop started, but was interrupted by a
chorus of all metalheads shouting, "Spaceship in the lot marked
MOUSE. It's a mistag, but go there anyway. I'll send you forward two
hyperdays... WE KNOW!"

"Aw well... it seems all of you have done your homework!" It was the
kind of thing a mop would say, regardless of what it meant, if it
meant anything at all.

The spaceship glided to the chamber illuminated in shades of blue
and prepared for the RATS system to kick off! It whined high, and
then went really low. Instructions were being laid out, the ones that
are virtually ALWAYS ignored - and are meant to be. Lights filled the
chamber, and as they grew brighter, the level of sound increased.
They heard last a part of the mop's sentence...

"Oh dear..." they heard it say last, and blasted off with a
tremendous explosion, "I blasted them to the PAST!"

This has been the fifth episode of the Void Fruitcake series
titled VF #5: Blast From the Past. For a list of all
episodes, go to Darkwin's Personal
.To read the next episode, click on to VF #6: Kick the Kickers of the Kicked.

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