Notice to all Visitors to a Dog Owners Home

4 Conversations

1. The dogs live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want dog hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.

3. Yes, they have disgusting habits. So do I and so do you. What's your point?

4. Of course they smell like dogs.

5. It's their nature to try to sniff your crotch. Please feel free to sniff theirs.

6. I like them a lot better than I like most people.

7. To you he's a dog. To me he's an adopted son who is short, hairy,
walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. I have no problem with any of
these things.

8. Dogs are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the
time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car,
don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry
about whether they have the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't
need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant you can sell
the pups.

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