h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The TARDIS materializes next to an Egyptian pyramid on the sun-baked sand. Unlike the familiar craggy contours of the pyramids we know today, this pyramid's sides are smooth and evenly coloured. It is also unfinished, its highest plane more than twice the height of the TARDIS. A dirt ramp runs up one side of it, allowing the thousands of workers access to the site as it rises skyward.

The Dalek time machine is right on their heels, preparing to land in the Egyptian desert in 4 minutes. The Dalek in charge of the expedition confers with Mavic Chen. Chen is responsible for recovery of the core, a task he relishes. The Daleks will kill the time travellers once the core is retrieved. Chen is concerned when it becomes clear that the fugitives are not attempting to take off again. He is certain the Doctor will have detected their pursuit. Why then has he chosen to stand and face the Daleks here?

The Doctor is quickly out of the ship with tool box in hand and is soon hard at work on repairing the damage the Monk did to the lock. Steven watches over him, concerned about the other time machine registering on the ship's instruments. The Doctor believes it is the Monk following them and is not terribly concerned. He should land nearby very shortly. Bored, Steven looks round. He sees piles of building stones along with several ornate statues, sarcophagi, and containers. These are treasures for the pharaoh's final journey to the afterlife. Steven takes a moment to be impressed at the unfinished pyramid. The Doctor asks him for help in fetching a tool, but the young man has no clue what he is being asked for and is of little help. As the Doctor grumpily gets the tool himself and continues working, Steven decides to ascend the dirt ramp. He hopes to gain a better vantage point from which to see the Monk's TARDIS arrive.

It is not long before Steven sees a time machine materialise in the distance. Perhaps one quarter of a mile away. Still believing this to be the Monk, Steven hurries down and tells the Doctor and Sara, who has just emerged from the TARDIS. Sara notes that the pursuing time machine has stopped registering and this gibes with what Steven has seen. The young man is ready to take the initiative and meet the Monk head on, but the Doctor will not go. He has had to strip out the entire lock mechanism in order to fix it and he will not leave the ship here unlocked and unattended. He promises to meet up with the others soon and sends them off with an admonition to be careful. As Steven and Sara go off, another set of eyes watches the Doctor for a moment. Then the man is gone, off at a run.

The stranger is a young Egyptian warrior called Tuthmos. He races to a nearby workshop, where Khephren, supervisor of the pyramid's construction, and Hyksos, leader of warriors, are meeting. Tuthmos urges the other to come with him to see the strangers who lurk around the future tomb of the pharaoh. Fearing that thieves already have designs on the pharaoh's recently-arrived treasures, all three head for the pyramid.

Steven and Sara reach the area where the other time machine has landed, observing from a distance. They can see just a featureless metal box, which Steven thinks is odd. If this is the Monk's TARDIS, it should have changed shape to blend in with its surroundings. The reason for this oddity is soon clear as it is not the Monk, but Mavic Chen who emerges from the time machine, accompanied by Daleks. Steven and Sara turn to run, intending to warn the Doctor, but they are quickly captured by Hyksos' warriors, who have found them here. Hyksos then notices Chen and the Daleks. The warrior is concerned over the number of strangers present here. He orders his soldiers to capture all of them. Unfortunately, the outmatched warriors are exterminated en masse by the Daleks. Those who try to run are pursued. Hyksos and a handful of his men escape, taking Steven and Sara as hostages. Undeterred by this minor inconvenience, the Daleks and Chen spread out in search of the time travellers.

Meanwhile, the Doctor has completed his work on the lock and sets off to find his companions. He ends up inside the pyramid, where surplus building materials are stored, alongside more gifts for the pharaoh to join him in the afterlife. He finds no sign of his companions, but he does hear the familiar sounds of a TARDIS materializing. Ducking out of sight, the Doctor watches as the Monk's ship arrives, disguising itself as a block of brown stone. The Monk exits, orientating himself to his new environment, then moves off in search of the Doctor to exact his revenge. The Doctor goes immediately to inspect the Monk's TARDIS. It suddenly occurs to him that if the Monk has just landed, then it must have been the Daleks who arrived in the desert earlier. But why did he not detect both ships?

Steven and Sara are brought - tightly bound - to Khephren's workshop. Hyksos denounces them as plunderers for invading the pharaoh's tomb and as murderers in league with the "fire-throwing machines". Hyksos decides that more warriors are needed to combat the evil machines and he goes off to the next encampment to recruit more men. Meanwhile, Khephren will gather the workers and move more of the pharaoh's treasure into the pyramid where they will be easier to guard. Steven and Sara protest their innocence to the charges and demand to be released. Tuthmos asks them why the old man was so interested in the blue box near the pyramid. He is under the mistaken belief that the box, sitting as it does just outside the pyramid, is part of the pharaoh's treasure brought here by his slaves to go into the tomb. With that belief, the Doctor is clearly a tomb raider and so are they. Steven tries to set the man straight, but causes him to leave in a huff instead. All the better for Sara, as she has found a shard of broken pottery with a sharp edge. She starts to work on cutting through her bonds.

Meanwhile, the Monk scours the building site for any sign of his enemy, the Doctor following along at a discrete distance. The Monk doesn't seem to be in much of a hurry though, sauntering casually while taking in the sights. However, what he finds instead are the Daleks and Mavic Chen! One of the Daleks is ready to exterminate him on sight, but Chen brazenly pushes the gun away. He has noticed the Monk's anachronistic clothing and his recognition of the Daleks. He has deduced that this is another time traveller. When the Monk confirms this (still being held at gunpoint), Chen knows that his presence here is no coincidence. He badgers the Monk to admit he knows the Doctor. The nervous Monk also admits he has a score to settle with the Doctor - meaning he and the Daleks are on the same side - but he would be very glad to give up his "claim" in order to get away from the Dalek guns as quickly as possible. But Chen will not be deterred. He outlines a plan to use the Monk's friendly rivalry with the Doctor to get the taranium from him. It will be the Monk's responsibility, using whatever means necessary. He bullies the little man into agreeing, making sure he is aware of the Daleks' punishment for failure. The Monk has just one hour to bring back the taranium or he will be exterminated.

Unbeknownst to any of them, the Doctor has witnessed all of this.

All the while wondering how he got himself into this mess, the Monk resumes his search for the Doctor. This time it is with some urgency. He produces an energy detector in order to track down the Doctor's TARDIS quickly. Whilst he is engaged, the Doctor heads back to the Monk's TARDIS, a plan in mind.

Inside the pyramid, the Doctor manages to open the Monk's TARDIS and get inside. Shortly, the non-descript stone block begins to change shape. It finally settles into the form of a police box! Chuckling to himself, the Doctor exits, carrying with him a small piece of circuitry he brought out of the Monk's ship.

It doesn't take Sara long to free Steven. He frees her and together they take care of the guards, including Tuthmos. Steven is again impressed by the woman's fighting skill.

Meanwhile, Khephren has succeeded in bringing more pieces of the pharaoh's treasure inside the unfinished pyramid from the desert outside. One of those is the TARDIS! The Monk finally homes in on the TARDIS here. The Doctor, who has been following him for a while, hides in the shadows, somewhat concerned to discover that his ship has been moved. He waits until the Monk has tried and failed to open the doors before confronting him. The two are quickly back to banter mode, the Monk chiding the Doctor for the incongruous appearance of his TARDIS. The Doctor ripostes sharply. The Monk goes on to brag about the manner in which he evaded the Doctor's instruments while following him. He offers to go inside and show the Doctor how it's done, but the shifty man's ulterior motive is clear. The Doctor simply guesses that the Monk is in league with the Daleks. His guilty response confirms it and he is found out.

The Monk changes tack, telling the Doctor that he was only playing along with Chen and planned to warn him about the Daleks right away. But he conveniently forgot to do so. The Doctor sees through this as well and decides to put the Monk "safely out of the way" before he goes. The Doctor raises his walking stick menacingly and backs the nervous Monk into a corner. The Monk warns the Doctor not to do anything he'll regret later...

When the Monk's hour is up, the Daleks lose patience and prepare a task force to attack. All of the humans will be exterminated.

Steven and Sara reach the TARDIS' landing site undetected. Neither the Doctor nor the ship is there. They follow some tracks in the sand which lead into the pyramid's tomb. There is no sign of the Doctor, but they do find the ship. Its doors are locked and it does not appear that the Doctor is inside, despite their insistent knocking.

Looking round, Sara is startled by movement behind her. She draws Steven's attention to a sarcophagus whose lid is rising up. From inside, a bandaged hand reaches out toward them...