The legendary 1523 Titian Edition of Wisden’s Cricketing Almanac provides interesting insight into the titanic struggle for the early Ashes. The action is taking place on the Mediterranean island of Naxos after the all-star Athenian touring side led by Theseus had emerged unexpectedly victorious on Minos. The depiction of Bacchus coming over the wicket to deliver a real snorter to Ariadne, who is attempting to turn it to leg, is widely held to be the finest bowling action in fine art.

At first glance, the unconventional field to which Bacchus is bowling appears to comprise only nine players: the pair of cheetahs at forward short-leg and silly mid-on portending the emergence of Azhar and Cronje; Silenus and The Ass inebriatedly patrolling the deep mid-wicket boundary; a Sileni struggles under a cask of wine at long-on, while another, carousing at long-off and brandishing a piece of venison, together bring to mind a naked yet hirsute Kerry O’Keefe skulling beer amid the Barmy Army in the MCG’s notorious Bay 13; at extra-cover, Lacoon wrangles with a serpent much like WG Grace has had to wrestle with his own egg-and-bacon tie; and a Sileni child at short-extra cover reminds us of Partiv Patel, while a dog, Warne-like, waits to pull something at silly mid-off.

To solve the puzzle, and to complete the field then, at very, very, very deep square leg, the Bothamesque figure of Theseus in his boat can be espied, trying to put distance between himself and the batsman, Ariadne, who he has just spurned. Nonetheless all of the field (no wicketkeeper even) are in front of the bat. Perhaps we should infer fielding restrictions? Bacchus meanwhile will proceed to bowl a maiden over.

Interestingly, both umpires (the Bacchante) seem to be signalling for the power-play with their cymbals, although the square-leg official is palpably out of position at mid-on; the inspiration for Billy Bowden’s eccentricities one might reasonably suppose.

Noteworthy is that after she has been jilted by Theseus, Ariadne again switches sides, this time to play for Naxos. The reasons for Theseus’ decision are unclear? Did she open too eagerly and for anyone – the facts support this theory in abundance; she was polishing Bacchus’ balls shortly after this scene.

It is curious then that the ICC did not utilise the ‘Ariadne precedent’ to build themselves a better team in the Johnny Walker Super Series. Certainly it was the rhythmic partnership of Theseus and Ariadne in attack that had sealed the win for the Athenian All-Star XI to win the Minotaur Challenge at the Temple of Knossos – on her home soil. On this basis, the ICC could have had first pick from the Australians: Lara, Sehwag, Gayle, Sangakara, Dravid, Petersen, Flintoff, Akhtar, Pollock, Ntini and Kallis could have stayed at home leaving the bespectacled Vettorix to shine among the Aussies; like Phar Lap. And Russell Crowe.

Bacchus and Ariadne can be viewed at The National Gallery in London.

Phar Lap can be viewed at the Melbourne Museum.

Russell Crowe can be viewed in a mutlitude of films including Romper Stomper, Master & Commander and Cinderella Man.

Acknowledgement: Mr John Hardy Clarke of Caythorpe, Lincs for the inspiration.